Category Archives: Parenting

My First Mother’s Day (By Birgitta)

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Technically, today is my first Mother’s Day. I haven’t met my baby yet, but I think motherhood began for me about 3 months ago when I learned I was pregnant. I found out on February 14th, and it was quite the unexpected Valentine. My fears and worries eased as I gradually shared the news with family and friends and was surrounded by their love.

Tonight my family went out to dinner and enjoyed a Mother’s Day celebration together. Among other things, my mom gave me a pack of diapers, and I realized that I’ve never changed a diaper before. It’s hard not to feel a little defensive when people tell me I have no idea what I’m in for or how difficult this will be for me. My life has already changed quite a bit. I think it’s important for me to look for the good, happy, and beautiful things all around me as I move forward.

My mom has been a tremendous example to me of always focusing on the positive things. Her upbeat attitude is contagious, especially when it comes to my baby. I can’t forget how delighted I felt when I first saw my baby dancing around inside of me or heard that precious heartbeat for the first time. It’s amazing to think about the brand new life I’ll be a part of and the intense connection and joy I’ve experienced.

One year from now on my second Mother’s Day, I’ll probably have experienced some of what others have “warned” me about. But just the thought of being able to hold and kiss my baby has me eagerly awaiting that day and the whole year ahead!

Hand-crafted

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These are the developing hands of a 14 weeks-along baby, Birgitta’s little him-or-her. During the ultrasound picture-taking session, this tiny child whose hands had been against his/her cheeks for the first photos suddenly reached toward the camera, fingers splayed, as if to say, “Mama! Look what I have!”

Birgitta said that when these miniature hands flashed on the screen she began giggling so hard the baby joined in on the fun with an enthusiastic wiggle-dance. I like to think it was God’s uncontainable joy bubbling within Birgitta and flooding into her little one.

Being allowed to take a peek at what the Creator is doing inside my daughter’s womb is to get a glimpse of the wonder that God is. It was his idea to design hands as he did, making them useful tools we usually take for granted.

Hands are pretty remarkable. They’re flexible but can be stiffened to hold up something heavy. They can swing a hammer with force or caress a loved one with gentleness. Hands can shake each other in greeting or lend-a-hand as needed. They can cheer someone by clapping approval or reach toward heaven in prayer.

When God gave us hands, he also provided a hand-book. Scripture cautions us to be careful with our hands, to use them as he instructs. Jesus used his hands to touch the untouchable, the diseased, the contaminated. And he allowed his hands to be nailed to a cross for our benefit. One day we’ll get to see evidence of that when he shows us his hands and the scars he wears.

But what are regular people supposed to do with their hands? Birgitta’s child has hands that can’t do much of anything right now, though they’ve already gifted a young mama with joy. One day, though, they may play the piano or paint a picture. Maybe they’ll mold clay or repair computers, perform surgery, write books. We don’t know, but the Lord does, so he’ll help Birgitta coax her little one in the right direction.

But what about the rest of us? In response to God’s profound love, we ought to follow his hand-book to a T. It says we should “do good… be rich in good deeds… generous and willing to share.” (1 Timothy 6:18) He gave us hands to facilitate accomplishing this, and even told us how to handle those deeds: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

In October our family will get to touch the dimpled, feather-soft hands of a new baby. We may just all start giggling in a fresh outburst of joy at what God has done.

“Can a mother… feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:15-16)

Burden-Bearer

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After a woman learns she’s expecting her first baby, like it or not she’s joined the Burden-Bearing Club. She doesn’t feel the weight of it at first, but as the weeks pass, understanding dawns. Then after 9 months, she’s eager to go through the misery of labor and delivery, because it means she can unload her burden.

But burden-bearing doesn’t end there. All parents quickly become acquainted with the lifting, hauling, and holding that their new role brings. Even a 7 pound newborn becomes a back-breaker after enough carrying duty.

Looking back on the heavy lifting of parenthood, my prominent thought is of Nate. His M.O. was always to lighten my load, and his constant question was, “Can I carry that for you?” Even if he already had his arms full and I had only one thing, he’d offer to take it from me.

I remember trudging through Disney World years ago with our own children and another family, watching Nate walk ahead of me next to the other dad. The two men were laughing, having a good time, and Nate resembled a pack horse for all the bags and bundles hanging from his shoulders. But because his motivation was always to help me, he carried his load lightly.

Scripture describes a similar picture when God says, “Can I carry that for you?” He’s referring to our sins, knowing how burdened we feel when we know we’re in the wrong and haven’t done anything about it.

The biblical David described this exact dilemma: “My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear. I am on the verge of collapse… But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.” (Psalm 38:3-4,17-18) If we follow David’s example, we’ll find the same relief he did: “May all who search for you [Lord] be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, ‘The Lord is great!’ You are my helper and my savior.” (Psalm 40:16-17)

Although Nate’s shouldering of my burdens had to end when he passed away, God’s carrying never stops. He established it permanently when Jesus took responsibility for all sin, for all time, everywhere. And it’ll continue forevermore for anyone who takes advantage of the reprieve he offers.

I probably shouldn’t have taken such regular advantage of Nate’s offer to carry my burdens, but his “can I carry” continued, even when he didn’t feel good. This picture, taken about 6 months before he died, tells the tale. We knew nothing of his deadly cancer then, although it had probably already taken hold, but his back was torturing him. Even then he asked if he could carry my weighty red purse on a sight-seeing trip in England.

 

Although every good man offers to carry his wife’s burdens, only the finest will shoulder her purse.

“Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.” (Psalm 55:22)