Category Archives: Parenting

Nelson’s Journal, 2/22/22

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When a couple is expecting a new baby, the thought process is like a see-saw—up and down. Once the baby comes, will all our current freedoms evaporate? Or will it add lots of fun to our lives? Should we hurry to make changes before we can’t anymore?

Nelson was ruminating on this in early February. With the baby’s due date only a month away, he wondered how soon he should make the decision to stay close to Ann Sophie till the baby came. But that was just one unknown on a list of many, so he focused instead on meeting the goal of this one day.

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February 2, 2022

I have a hypothetical job as an electrician, starting May 1, with some other stuff starting anytime Tim (the electrician) gets a permit. Hard to imagine doing something like that as it’s been a while since I had a job like that, probably since 1999 or so.

Lots of self employment work since then, but not working for the man, other than for DY at Sawyer Hardware and Lumber. But that place is now a thing of the past. We are just doing what we feel led to do, not really having a long term plan, as so many things are unknown and so often change as we go.

I don’t know what it will be like to have a little baby and to try and raise a child, to get fully into doing that. I imagine it will be fun. I don’t think it will be too hard, to be honest. I look forward to it. Why change careers at the same time, or shortly after? It has to do with slowing down.

I was thinking of trying to convince Tim to let me work 4, 10 hour days instead of 5, 8 hour days. That way I would have 1 day completely open in addition to the weekend, because there is still church.

IMG_0117.jpgAt 5pm I passed the truck inspection, got it insured, and even got new license plates for it. That was my goal, other than getting it down into Waipio Valley. I am debating going this weekend with Bates and Jake, maybe taking a group down there with a van. I don’t know. There’s always the slight chance Annso could go into labor and that would be terrible to miss. I wonder if it’s worth taking a chance on that. But once the baby comes, there will be no more chances for stuff like that.

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“The wisdom from above is…. open to reason.” (James 3:17)

Nelson’s Journal, Entry #3

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When Nelson died seven weeks ago, one of the gifts that came to his wife Ann Sophie was ownership of his journals. He journaled faithfully throughout his adult life, often working out problems with words on paper, committing them to God as he went along.

A few years ago he switched to journaling on his computer, and it’s these entries Ann Sophie and I have been looking at recently. Nelson never made his journal public, but as we’ve been reading them, we’re learning how he coped with his lung cancer diagnosis. How does it feel to be told you have Stage 4 cancer? How do you cope in the days and months that follow? How do you bear this heavy burden, day after day?

As Nelson tapped out his thoughts each morning, usually at around 5:00 AM, he wrote words that might help us all—should we ever hear a similar diagnosis while sitting in a doctor’s office. The entries are a combination of feelings, scriptures, and prayers.

In our recent blogs we posted Nelson’s thoughts from the day he heard he had cancer, and the day following that (5/10 & 5/12, 2022). Our plan is to back up into January, before cancer, and move through his his last year, posting entries every few days. Maybe he’ll show all of us how best to respond to the shocking news of lethal disease, and what to do next.

January 19, 2022

“Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord! Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.” (Psalm 25)

Lord, you have really done this for me. Seeing a domestic violence thing in the paper the other day reminded me of where I would be if you hadn’t stepped in and offered me a way out of drinking, and then offered me a way out of a bad relationship. It’s real.

You really do the things you promise in the Bible. Thank you for answering my prayers. I will bank on the promises in the verses above. You have forgotten the sins of my youth, taught me the way to go, pardoned my guilt even in sin after the start of the sober years. And now you have given me offspring.

To see them inherit the land would be amazing and a total miracle. Thank you for little Willard Nelson Nyman who is soon coming into the world. Thank you for what is in a name.

Thank you for Papa [Willard Nathan Nyman] and what he taught me and how in sharing my testimony with the grounds team at Denny’s, I was able to refer to his words about not making decisions only for money. I pray for integrity with money. I can see the temptation to want more than I need, but I do have a family now and don’t want to sell us short. Please show me how to lead them. I know you will.

Should we buy something in Michigan to prepare to move there, or just wait? You know the future, Lord, and know what will happen. I pray for wisdom to know what is wrong and what’s right.

“Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.” (Psalm 25:12)

 

Happy Encounters

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Last week little Will’s grandpa got to meet his first grandchild, who is almost five months old.

When Ralph arrived from Germany, he also got to be reunited with his wife Astrid, his daughter Ann Sophie, and his son-in-law Nelson. It’s difficult to understand what’s happening in the little apartment in Rochester, Minnesota, from 4300 miles away in Europe.

But now Ralph has adjusted to the medically-oriented lives of his loved ones and how things work at the Mayo Clinic. Like the rest of us, he’s learning that by the process of elimination, doctors figure out what something isn’t, before they determine what it is. And this process can be frustrating for all of us.

Last week, Nelson’s vomiting and diarrhea had increased to epic proportions. Doctors thought it might be a response to trace remnants of the chemotherapy drugs mixing with the new immunotherapy drugs. Or it might have been Nelson’s reaction to the new immunotherapy as his system tried to switch from chemo to that.

They drew blood again (almost a daily occurrence) and finally discovered he had a bacterial infection of his digestive track, which was evidencing itself in the vomiting and diarrhea. Several days after he began antibiotics, though, the vomiting and diarrhea began decreasing—much to everyone’s relief, especially Nelson’s.

Throughout this time, he’s been taking the two pills daily that make up the targeted immunotherapy, and yesterday he spent time with the head oncologist on his case and another doctor. They were both pleased about where he is with the new therapy but will keep it at a half-dose for a while longer.

In meeting with pulmonology, they learned that about 150 milliliters of fluid are still “caught” in pockets at the bottom of his right lung. Though they tried to drain it out, the regular suction method failed. They may try to get it with a needle.

If they succeed, then they’ll also remove the catheter on that side and close up the wound. The left lung still needs draining daily, and Ann Sophie does that with excellence. It remains a mystery why the right lung had initially produced lots of fluid and now has dried up, while the left lung, which hadn’t produced much for many weeks, now has more.

But that’s the way it is in the world of medicine. One issue gets sorted, but then another one appears. But we have faith in the doctors we’ve worked with thus far and have seen their expertise and determination in action. Their goal is to resolve Nelson’s cancer symptoms and the side effects from drugs until the immunotherapy and his own immune system can overwhelm the cancer. And what a happy day that will be!

“My Child, never forget the things I (the Lord) have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.” (Proverbs 3:1-2)