Category Archives: Parenting

The Upshot of Shots

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When newborns come into the world, they arrive with a clean slate which usually includes freedom from disease. We parents immediately jump in to keep it that way by yo-yo-ing back and forth to the pediatrician until our children virtually hate their doctor. That’s because every appointment includes a vaccination.

All 7 of our kids had the same pediatrician, a wise, gentle man we grew to love as a personal friend. When the kids would ask, “Am I having a shot today?”

He’d say, “No. Just a vaccination.”

Splitting medical hairs didn’t do much to cheer them, but by kindergarten, 99% of all needle-visits were over. The upshot of all their shots was freedom from the painful diseases former generations had to experience.

It’s been many decades since I had a vaccination. Well, until last week. Although I’ve never had a flu shot, the upcoming illnesses of old age are just ahead, and new vaccinations can prevent some of them. One virus I’d like to avoid is shingles, a painful skin rash that can hang on for months.

Even though doctors are promoting the vaccine for folks over 60, it’s not 100% effective. But a vaccinated person who does gets shingles won’t suffer the same intensity of pain.

Mom had shingles the year before she died, and nothing could soothe the fiery nerve pain on her neck and scalp. Shingles can even travel into ears and eyes, causing permanent damage. So last week, I decided to roll up my sleeve along with other shingles vaccinationees and get jabbed.

Too bad there’s not an inoculation for sorrow and heartache. We could all bop through life wearing big grins, and worries would be a thing of the past. No more middle-of-the-night anxieties or games of what-if. Happy thoughts would dominate, and contentment would be much easier to find.

The only problem would be our numbness. Being protected from the negatives would mean being deadened to the positives, too. If we couldn’t feel sadness, how could we feel happiness? Each human emotion needs its counterbalance.

On the day Nate died, all of us suffered raw pain. But would we rather not have had him at all? No, because that would have eliminated thousands of joy-filled days.

Thinking of this dilemma in a biblical way, if we were able to opt out of sorrow, we’d miss God’s special promises to the brokenhearted. If we didn’t experience affliction, we’d miss his deliverance. If we didn’t suffer guilt over sin, we’d never know the relief of forgiveness.

Even Jesus wasn’t inoculated against sorrow. If he hadn’t willingly been crushed for us, we wouldn’t now have access to spiritual healing.

So, if a vaccination against heartache did exist, we probably shouldn’t get in line for it. Just think of the counter-balancing blessings we’d have to miss.

Jesus said, “You may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

“Something happened!”

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My oldest grandchild, Skylar, has a sparking personality backed by a strong will. Recently I got to spend a week with her and her family, catching up on her latest dreams and schemes. One thing she loves (along with every other two year old) is to join adults in whatever they’re doing, and I love having her assist me.

Ever since she was little, she’s “helped” me put on my make-up. As we approach the task, I’ve already removed the dangerous items from my zipped bag: a hair-cutting scissors, eyebrow pencil sharpener and nail clippers. Then, as I work to improve my old face, Skylar pretends to improve her flawless one.

The only questionable tool I’ve left in the bag is an eyebrow plucker, the kind with a scissors handle. Its “points” are flat, and I didn’t think Skylar could do any damage with it. Leave it to a two year old to prove me wrong.

While I was busy staring into a hand-size 10X magnifier mirror trying to put mascara on, Skylar hopped off her stool and wandered out of the room. In 20 seconds I heard a “Tszt” just before the power went out. Immediately Skylar’s alarmed voice came from the next room. “Something happened!”

We all came running, and there, sticking out of a wall outlet, was my scissor-shaped eyebrow tweezers. She’d plugged it into a socket and had experienced something new, an up-the-arm jolt like we’ve all known, unpleasant but not especially harmful.

Skylar ran to her daddy’s reassuring arms but never shed a tear, and I would have given anything to know her immediate thoughts. For a minute, however, our chatty Skylar was speechless.

I would never intentionally hurt one of my grandchildren, but this incident was probably my bad. There was an up-side, though. Skylar’s experiment taught her a few things:

  • Outlets are covered for good reasons.
  • Electrical shocks feel terrible.
  • My parents were protecting me when they told me, “No.”
  • I should obey my parents.
  • I’ll never do that again!

Experience is our best teacher, and Skylar’s new respect for electrical outlets will never dim. No damage was done (except to the blackened tips of my tweezers), and important lessons were learned.

Once in a while all of us have to be taught just like Skylar, through harsh experience. Scripture is full of wisdom we don’t heed as we toss it aside in favor of our own flawed ideas. So God steps back and lets us learn the hard way. Once we learn to internalize wisdom simply by listening, we spare ourselves and others unnumbered “jolts”.

If Skylar had simply believed her parents when they told her electrical outlets could hurt her, she would have avoided her unpleasant zap. Hopefully that potent lesson will serve to increase the validity of her folks’ advice from here on.

As for me, when I work with my traumatized tweezers, I’ll try to remember Skylar’s example, because I’d rather learn by listening than by a jolting.

“Josiah was eight years old when he became king… He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight and… did not turn away from doing what was right.” (2 Chronicles 34:1-2)

Doing the Right Thing

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I’m proud of my daughter Linnea. She’s good at doing life and doesn’t shy away from challenges. But what impresses me most is her strong sense of compassion for others.

Today I was given an unexpected treat. Linnea began helping at a local pregnancy center a couple of years ago, and last summer she joined the staff part-time, one evening and one morning each week. Because she’s been on vacation with us at Sanibel Island but is now home, she needed to catch up on her work at the center, and I tagged along.

Linnea is responsible for a 12 week teaching course encouraging first-time parents through their pregnancies and into the early days of parenting. They’re coached to think about their babies long-term and are also given practical tools about finances and budgeting, marketability and careers.

The teaching task is immense, but the women working at this pregnancy center have a vision to save babies and assist the young mothers into their new roles. The center offers an incentive for coming to meetings: Baby Bucks to be spent at the baby boutique there.

Girls who come to meetings and do the homework can accumulate enough Bucks to purchase a brand new baby bed for their little one. Smaller amounts buy baby clothes, blankets, diapers and toys. Maternity clothes are also available and can be checked out like library books, no charge if they’re brought back after use.

Linnea showed me shelves full of baby gift bags for mommies who return after giving birth to show off their newborns. Each bag is assembled by a couple that donates the contents and wraps them festively.

I also got to see and hold soft, plastic baby-models, weighted correctly to represent in utero babies in different months of pregnancy. The girls can cradle these babies while visualizing their own, beginning to understand what’s going on inside of them.

I saw counseling rooms, a large group meeting room, the room in which results of pregnancy tests are made known, the various offices and the door leading to an ultrasound room. It’s a rare mother-to-be who sees her baby on an ultrasound screen and still opts for abortion.

The center was quiet today, so while Linnea went about her work, I found a chair in the reception area to spend time praying. Soon the director of the center arrived to do some work of her own. I introduced myself as Linnea’s mom, and she said, “I can’t tell you what an asset Linnea is to our team. She’s done wonders for our entire teaching program.” If a heart can be warmed, mine was.

Linnea works hard to free herself from the at-home mothering she loves in order to be at the center two days each week, but she does it because she feels compassion for the girls, and because there are eternal consequences to the work. Her desire is to help as she can and to prepare each mother-to-be for the challenge ahead.

God is pleased. And so am I.

May God “make you worthy of his calling, that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.” (2 Thessalonians 1:11)