Category Archives: Parenting

Back to School

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Birgitta and I spent today with hundreds of students and their parents getting “oriented” to college life at the University of Iowa. Although I was old enough to be the parent of some of the other parents, I tried not to dwell on my Medicare membership. My outfit also bothered me. Although I worked hard on deciding what to wear, in the end I looked like I’d just finished a shift at Target.

Birgitta opted to stay in the dorm these two nights while I slept at a Super 8. But we spent much of the day together getting acquainted with the university, the place she’ll call home in August. Before breakfast she’d already perused her thick packet of materials and was far more knowledgeable about the school than I. But that’s how this whole chapter of her life has been. She did all the phoning, emailing, contacting, questioning and filling out of endless forms. I did nothing, which was evident when she handed me my Hawkeye dinner ticket this afternoon. “You’re all set, Mom,” she said, probably wondering if I’d remember where I put the ticket by dinner time.

I miss Birgitta already. She’s throwing herself into orientation activities and is pumped to get started, wanting to take advantage of more university opportunities than 24 hour days will allow. Her eyes lit up when one speaker mentioned that the school offers 500 student-run organizations, 200 extra-curricular clubs, 22 languages, 100 majors and 24 varsity teams (Big Ten football among them). She also loves the idea of attending a school with over 30,000 kids and a freshman class of nearly 5000. But she’s my baby, and when the time comes to leave her, I’ll probably cry.

Walking between meetings today, we talked about her father and how much we missed his presence at this event, the only college orientation in our family he’s been unable to attend. But we smiled thinking of the gusto with which he would have thrown himself into these two days.

Nate graduated from a Big Ten school, actually two of them: Northwestern University and also the University of Illinois Law School. Although he wasn’t into sports, he was into the countless advantages of a giant university and made it a priority to identify all that was offered as soon as he arrived on campus… just like this daughter.

Nate loved school and the concept of ongoing education. He’d have been a lifelong university student if he could have. When I hear Birgitta talk about shaping her four undergraduate years toward a grad degree, I know this apple hasn’t fallen too far from its paternal tree. If Nate had been with us at the university today, he’d have told his seventh-born to think about the verse of Scripture that had influenced him more than any other. He’d have reminded her she was at the beginning of a brand new race set before her by God himself and should run it with endurance.

I’ll be praying for her endurance… and maybe Nate will, too. And despite what scholars think, I’ll be wondering if Nate is cheering in that multitude of witnesses, watching the race from his spot in a heavenly grand stand.

“Since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” (Hebrews 12:1)

June 24, 1977

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Any little girl who grows up among four brothers learns how to hold her own. Our Linnea, from the age of two, could “deliver the goods” when necessary, learning early that words hold power. Although the rest of us had trouble keeping a straight face when she lectured in her toddler voice, she got the job done.

She made a good choice in not letting the boys run all over her, and she’s made many other good ones with the rest of her 33 years. The best one was made the day she invited Jesus into her life as a four year old. When her Grandma arrived for dinner that night, Linnea took her upstairs to her room, shut the door and said, “Guess what, Grandma! Jesus came into my heart today, and if you put your hand here [on my heart], you can feel him jumping up and down!”

The day Linnea was born I remember standing at the hospital nursery window with Nate and my parents as the nurse wheeled the clear acrylic bed close enough for us to see this new little relative. “She’ll always be optimistic,” Dad said.

Wondering how he could know this from one quick glance at a newborn, I asked him. He said, “The corners of her mouth turn up naturally, and that’s what that means.”

He was right. She’s always looked for the uplifting detail in every scenario and has been an encourager of others all along the way. It was her optimism that prayed faithfully for a sister (see April 28 blog) and was rewarded with two. Both of those girls, 11 and 13 years younger than Linnea, would say they love their older sister’s non-judgmental attitude toward others and the way she points out the good in everyone. The words, “She’s an inspiration to me” have come out more than once.

Another positive choice was Adam. Although many newlyweds struggle to adjust, both Adam and Linnea found Year One to be the easiest of their lives. That was the calm before the storm, however, as they were devastated to learn they might never have children. Such a blow could drive a wedge between husband and wife but in this case served to bond them tightly. When they were given not one but two miracle babies, they gave God all the credit. Even though raising two-under-two is exhausting, Linnea and Adam never take their children for granted.

Nate was the one who named Linnea, and I’ll never forget him coming to the hospital the day after she was born with a ruffled bonnet he’d bought at Marshall Fields. She was his only daughter for the first 15 years of fathering, and he treated her like a princess, wanting to give her the desires of her heart.

She follows in Nate’s footsteps as a list-maker and Post-it note user, organizing her life and projects well, setting goals and meeting them. Her love for education jived with his, and he was proud of her as a high school English teacher. Linnea didn’t hesitate, however, when the option to be a stay-at-home mom presented itself. Even tenure didn’t hold her at the school, and she’s never looked back.

It’s my great delight to be Linnea’s friend, and I’ve learned much from this daughter. She’s a walking, talking model of the fruits of the Spirit, and because of this, her opinion is valuable to me, and there is power in her words. God sure was good to us on June 24, 1977.

“Pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” (Romans 14:19)

Seeds of Faith

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As long as I can remember, I’ve loved Jesus. That’s not to say I didn’t set him aside as a young woman when the rest of life seemed more exciting than he did. But something happened when I began having children. The responsibility of caring for another person overwhelmed me, and I felt ill equipped for the task. That’s when I turned back toward Jesus, in need of his help.

It was the beginning of a rich relationship full of wisdom (all his) and joy (all mine). I often felt then (and feel now) unworthy of his attention and will never understand what motivates him to accept me, failures and all, but he does.

As a child I was told Bible stories and coaxed to memorize Scripture. Mom sometimes even paid us to do so. She knew no amount of money would equal the priceless value of “owning” God’s Word. Both Dad and Mom regularly planted seeds of faith in their children and were also careful to tend them.

Even so, I remember coming to a place of doubting Jesus, then being rescued by a necklace Mom had given me. It was a pendant sphere of clear Lucite with a single seed enclosed in the middle. Supposedly it could grow a mustard tree. Mom had given it to me while referencing the story Jesus told about the problem of a small faith and the solution of a big God. We needn’t have a large supply of faith in order to be part of his family or included in his kingdom. He’s the one who did the big job of securing our salvation. We’re the saved; he’s the Savior. My childhood necklace reminded me that small was good enough.

Since then I’ve learned that although my necklace does hold a real mustard seed, there’s no such thing as a mustard tree, only mustard plants. And of course there are many seeds smaller than the mustard seed, such as carrot, strawberry or poppy seeds. Jesus was simply making a point to his listeners using visuals with which they were familiar. He used the mustard seed, because mustard grew everywhere and was prolific. If someone planted one mustard seed, they knew they would soon have millions.

As a child I loved my mustard seed necklace. It felt like I was wearing a little bit of the Bible around my neck, and I knew the Bible was important. Although that piece of jewelry is over 50 years old, it still hangs with my other necklaces, and it’s still a reminder of biblical truth. I’m thankful that when Jesus-seeds are planted in the life of a child, a tiny faith can grow into a sizeable one the same way one mustard seed can grow to fill many meadows.

”Then Jesus asked, ‘What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches.’ “ (Luke 13:18-19)