Category Archives: Prayer

Nelson’s journal 5/10/22  

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On this date, Nelson is journaling on his laptop from a hospital bed. His pain and breathing issues had escalated rapidly, resulting in two separate trips to the ER.

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May 10, 2022 

Today is day 2 at the hospital, my second time coming in to the ER because the pain and coughing were so severe. Annso pretty much insisted I do it. I went to campus and taught the Korean Foundation School, then came home, ate a nice salad with her and came up here [to the hospital].

Once I was here, there was this really young doctor who zeroed right in on fluid in the lungs. Once I told him I was coughing so hard at night and that I was so out of breath, he ran and got a mini-ultrasound machine and found fluid in my heart cavity and lungs.

That led them to do tons of tests, including a CT scan showing a tumor or growth in my neck and a few lymph nodes in the lungs, about 11 cm at the biggest. All of a sudden the fluid makes sense, the cough, and none of it has to do with the Thyroid, which is what everyone has been looking at.

At this point the admitting doc calls me on the phone and tells me–she really thinks it’s cancer. So does the tech who does these scans all the time. They will test more tomorrow, including a full body CT scan to see what else is going on. Maybe there are things growing in other places, not that these places aren’t severe enough.

When she told me that, I could hardly believe it, but at the same time, I could. All the intense pain and coughing now add up. I even said a couple times, “If I was told I had stage 3 lung cancer, I would believe it, because it feels like I think that would feel.”

It’s yet to be confirmed, and I would love for her to be wrong, but everyone is praying and it seems a likely scenario. Lots of things come into perspective all of a sudden, but I’m trying not to go worse-case-scenario right away.

I think of what happened to Papa and wonder, “Will I be alive this time next year? Will I be alive at Christmas? Will I be alive still even in August?” Unknown for all of us, but especially me. I don’t know anything. But the people I worry about the most are Annso and Will. What will they do? How hard for them will it be?

I would have the easier situation, and they’d be left to pick up the pieces. How terrible. How terrible for her to be turned into a single Mom so soon after our answer to prayer and miracle baby. I don’t even want to ask WHY. Doesn’t matter, and no answer will come to that one anyway.

I just think of those who went before me and how they did it. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that and I can beat it, whatever “it” is.

God, help me to know what to do now, to be the best man to Annso, strong and optimistic, someone she can rely on and who knows what to do, the one who may not know, but who knows who to trust.

I pray for strength. I pray for healing, for a miracle, for different results on tomorrow’s test, for there to even be a mistake somehow. Thank you for getting Annso in here [hospital] today. That was a miracle [because of strict Covid rules]. I pray she gets in tomorrow too. I pray for supernatural strength for her too.

What will happen to us? To me? To Will? Tomorrow will worry about itself. Amen.

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“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)

Nelson’s journal 2/28/22

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After a visit from a missions team sent by their home church in Nashville (Brentwood Baptist Church), Nelson made up his mind about the chance to become an electrician. His answer had to be no—and he seems relieved after deciding to stick with Kokua Crew.

In this journal entry he makes reference to “this throat thing,” which is his first reference to a health problem. During that time, he had a persistent cough without having a cold or any other related reason. It won’t be too long, though, before he finds out why he’s coughing.

In this entry he also refers to having a lack of energy, something highly unusual for him. So he’s made an appointment with a doctor to see what’s wrong.

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February 28, 2022

It’s 5:30 am Monday. Just finished a great time with the BBC crowd that Sharon led out here. They did as well as one of their teams can do. They threw a really nice baby shower for Annso yesterday, and all the Kokua Crew showed up.

I think the best way BBC could serve in that way is just to put the word out there in Kairos (church youth program) and have the kids sign up for terms with us like the regular Kokua Crew. They’d get the most and so would we that way.

Either way, churches and politics are involved to some extent in all these things, too. It doesn’t look like the career choice I was going to make with Tim the electrician will work out, unless I just throw this whole thing overboard and make a radical change, which doesn’t seem wise at this point.

We could maybe change housing locations (moving off the base), but to totally jump ship when it’s going so well doesn’t seem like the best move. God is merciful. Had a great service yesterday at church. We are officially going to 2 services a month plus or minus. It has seemed like the obvious choice for a long time. I’m surprised we haven’t done it sooner. Sometimes the only thing in my way is me.

I pray, Lord, for me to get out of the way and let you do your thing. Please give us the ability to let you lead and direct our steps. You have done it so well thus far. I pray not to try and take control back, not to try and be the one in charge and grab for security. I pray for the right move with the BBC (right) and YWAM outfits both. You have set us up in such a nice position, that I can hardly believe we have what we have. Thank you.

I pray for a safe, quick, and healthy birth for our little guy. I pray you can help me with this throat thing and the doc today, that I can be back to normal. Amen.

At 2:30 pm I got a text from Tim to come back to work for a couple days. I have decided to work for him sometimes, as he needs, so I can learn from him, but not take on the work full time. I don’t feel like I can do that and do best by my little family.

God, you gave me more than I could ask or imagine, and I want to do the best I can by them. Annso is so nice to me, releasing, and wants me to be happy. I want her to be happy and to feel secure.

Bob and I went to visit Steve Foth (security man) at his place this morning because I felt Jimmy’s Sunday sermon was a push in that direction. It was good to be there and to talk about stuff other than work, even though that did come up. He likes to stay up to date on the happenings at the campus.

Did the usual devotional routine, staff meeting, etc. even though I didn’t feel up on my game at all. Couldn’t muster the energy to dig in with the grounds team, so I did some work here at home, but not much. I trip on why people choose to be in YWAM. Steve said he would love to have had a career as a cop. Pieter said he would have been a builder if he had another life.

I shared that with Annso this morning, and she said that both of them have had the chance to do it, just not in the professional capacity they think would make them happy. It’s good to be content where you are and work hard to stay in that place.

 

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“Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)

Nelson’s journal 2/17/22

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Nelson and Ann Sophie first met while staffing a crowd of people in a Youth With A Mission ministry called Kokua Crew. This group, sometimes as many as 100, was made up of young people from all over the world. They came to Hawaii to serve as workers on the main YWAM campus in Kona.

Nelson and Ann Sophie were in charge of this group, giving them work assignments such as kitchen crew, daycare helpers, post office workers, coffee shop baristas, grounds keepers, library assistants, school aids, and anything else where help was needed.

In exchange for 40 work hours each week, these volunteers were able to live in beautiful Hawaii without cost, receiving three square meals each day, dorm-like housing, and free time on the weekends when they could do anything they wanted.

In today’s journal entry, Nelson is working out multiple problems connected to staying indefinitely in Hawaii, having been there for many years (especially Nelson), now that a baby was coming. How would this work?

The two of them were on call 24/7, overseeing the activities and whereabouts of all these young people while challenging them spiritually. Some of them preferred to break rules and do their own thing, requiring above-and-beyond attention from Nelson and Ann Sophie.

Every day the challenges were daunting and often exhausting, but the main campus counted on Nelson and his staff to see to it that each Kokua Crew member showed up daily to do the work they’d promised to do.

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February 17, 2022

I’m writing a bit this morning to process and pray about Kokua Crew and the future of it. What should we do about it?

There are lots of options, but it seems the writing is on the wall when YWAM is starting to charge them to participate… and quite a bit, according to some of the feedback we’re getting from those attending/starting in March.

Lord, what would you have the campus do? Stop Kokua Crew? Should we just make it no different from staff? It’s been super popular and getting more so all the time… then covid hit and we went back down. Now the numbers are back up and we have this immigration thing. Is it something to fight through or something to listen to? Are you saying something else?

Is Kokua Crew condoning the entitlement mentality that is so prevalent at this campus? What would YWAM Kona be like if we didn’t have Kokua Crew? Maybe that would be a way forward, like birthing pains into something harder but healthier.

I’m thankful for early mornings, Lord. For my girl sleeping in the next room, for our healthy baby boy growing inside her and how faithful you are to show your love for us in tangible ways that matter to us. Thank you for blowing away false ideas about you. Thank you for the work I have with Tim the electrician, the education it is, and the paycheck at the end of the time.

Thank you for the financial provision and the dream to build our own house all legal and up to spec. I never thought I would be able to do anything like that, just rehab an old one.

I pray for your leading today, for the appointment with Dr. Sira (OB doctor), and for the ability to stand up for what we believe is right with regard to the Kokua Crew and the medical care for our baby. I pray for peace, but where there is none, not to have that influence or divert us from the right thing. Amen.

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“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you.” (Isaiah 48:17)