Category Archives: Prayer

A Report on Mary

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As we’ve followed my sister Mary on her journey through cancer, we promised a report after her doctor’s appointment on July 19. Happily, the bottom line is still, “No news is good news.”

Still smilingNot much has changed for Mary in the three months since she last saw her oncologist, though the pesky symptoms of her cancer never leave her alone. At the appointment she asked questions about her occasional fevers, the increasing fatigue, abdominal discomfort, and intestinal upsets and was told what she already knew – that these are merely symptoms of her cancer. She says she has no actual pain anywhere, and doesn’t take any pills other than her pancreatic enzymes.

A while ago, Mary asked for prayer about signing off with her doctor and was told this week that it was up to her. For all practical purposes, then, she has done that – and is grateful for your prayer-help in making the decision.

Her doctor suggested she contact a palliative care organization in order to have a number to call in an emergency. Mary learned that palliative care isn’t just pain management or comfort measures as she thought but includes nutritional guidance, symptom control, and crisis response.

As for her weight, from January to April of this year, she lost six pounds, but from April to July, she’s only lost another half-pound, so she’s grateful for your prayers about that.

Cancer isn’t just about physical troubles, though. On the emotional side, it hangs overhead like a storm cloud that never blows through. Others with cancer have told Mary they feel like the general public is staring at them, knowing they have this dreaded disease. Of course strangers don’t really know. It just seems that way.

But Mary quoted a verse today that mentions “guarding our hearts and minds.” Although we should all be careful about what we think, this verse explains that God is the One who will do the guarding for us by way of supplying a supernatural peace big enough to stand guard over our thoughts…. as long as we don’t let ourselves obsess over our fears. (Philippians 4:6-7) Cancer may be a dark reality that God chooses not to remove, but he will never leave Mary without a way to mentally live above it.

She is ever-thankful for praying friends and mentioned an example. A church acquaintance who had met Mary’s seven-year-old granddaughter Ruby said, “I have a granddaughter that same age, so from now on, when I pray for her, I’ll also pray for you.” Since then she’s asked for the names and ages of Mary’s other grands and is now praying for them as well – all 11 of them.

Sunset timeGod answers prayer – often in unexpected, wonderful ways. And so Mary asks that we continue praying for weight gain and also for increased energy to help her fully participate when her children and grandchildren visit in these next few weeks. Also, she is scheduled for cataract surgery (one eye) on July 25 and would appreciate prayer to cover that day.

Most of all she is praising God for your faithful prayers, asking him to bless you in return.

“I am ready for anything through the strength of the One who lives within me.” (Philippians 4:13, Phillips)

Wall-Art

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Years ago, Nate and I invited a couple over for dinner, friends since college. Through the course of the evening, we spent time in the kitchen, dining room, and living room, and as they were leaving the husband said, “You know, I just noticed something. The only thing hanging on your walls is your family. It’s all pictures of kids!”

Nate and I laughed and said something like, “And that’s some pretty valuable wall-art.”

Most parents enjoy showing off their children with photos throughout the house, and we were no exception. But what does a parent do when the group expands as grandchildren come along? Eventually we either take down the pictures of our own kids to make way for our grands, or we move to a house with more wall space.

As our family has increased, I’ve decided to solve the space problem by putting all my grandchildren into one frame with multiple openings. First it was 4 of them, then 6, and then 8, which meant buying a larger picture frame every year or two – a happy task.

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When purchasing my most recent frame, though, I got smart. As my 10th grandchild was being announced, I bought a frame with 12 openings, trying to get ahead of the game. My strategy paid off as grandchild #11 was announced less than a year later. But there was still one opening left.

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Recently, we were surprised with the thrilling news that another little face would, indeed, by joining the other 11 in that frame. Katy and Hans will be sending photos of a new baby-Nyman in January, completing the set of 12.

I look at these happy faces many times each day, wondering how their lives will go…. and also wondering where I’ll find a frame with 13 or 14 openings, if needed! But I thank God for each one and have committed to praying for them all, claiming glorious promises over them, even those yet unborn.

For example: “I pray that you, Lord, would never be far from these children. Be their strength, and always go quickly to help them.” (Psalm 22:19)

And another: “May each one trust in you, Lord, at all times and feel free to pour out their hearts to you, understanding that you are their refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

One more: “Create pure hearts within each one, O God, and continually renew steadfast spirits within them.” (Psalm 51:10)

Gazing at my wall-art of grandchildren brings them close to me, even when they’re miles away. But praying for them does something even better than that. It transports us all into God’s throne room, a supernatural togetherness like no other.

So they are together in my wall-art, together in God’s hands, and together in my heart.

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

What’s happening with Mary?

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Rosehill..It’s been 7 months since I last shared an update on my sister Mary and how she’s coping with her pancreatic cancer. With great joy I can say she’s still her same vibrant self, very much “in the thick of things” with family, friends, and ministries. But since readers are asking, here’s the latest.

She said, “Be sure to tell your readers that my blessings outnumber my difficulties, and that God surprises me with his tender care every single day.”

Mary is a realist and freely talks about her cancer and what it’s doing to her. The bouts of fever, nausea, and weakness aren’t the result of having a flu or of not eating properly. She acknowledges that they’re simply the calling cards of cancer. But she’s quick to say she feels tremendous gratitude for each new day God gives her.

Even as she’s thinking realistically about her Stage 4 cancer, she’s remaining future-focused. For example, she’s learning how to use the many features of her new smart phone. And she’s redecorating their Michigan home. And she has scheduled a date for cataract surgery. “I may be gone by then,” she says with a smile, “but I might as well try for better vision.”

Those of us who don’t have a life-threatening disease don’t know how it feels to have a doctor tell you, “We can’t do anything more for you.” Surely it’s tempting to become fearful or to panic, but Mary has refused to indulge in negativity. Actually, just the opposite is true – she keeps a running list entitled “The Benefits of Pancreatic Cancer” in a small 3-ring notebook.

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On Memorial Day, our extended family made our annual visit to Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery. After a discussion of the holiday, a couple of family quizzes, and a time of sharing, Mary’s grown daughter Julia said, “I’m just glad you’re still here, Mom. You’re such a good example to all of us, the way you’re handling this.”

Rosehill.That’s when Mary, moved by the Spirit, spoke some powerful words. “Lots of people tell me that,” she said, “but it isn’t really me doing anything special. It’s God inside of me just doing everything he said he would do, supplying supernatural peace in the middle of my cancer. He’s teaching me to trust him more and more and reassuring me that he’ll never leave me, no matter what.”

Mary doesn’t know what the future holds but knows Who has her future in his hands. And that’s good enough for her.

She’s appreciative of your prayers and has asked us to pray for her upcoming doctor’s appointment on July 19. No scans are scheduled, but she’ll have blood tests and will decide then whether or not to “sign off” with her doctor, since no further treatment is recommended.

Her other request is that we pray for weight gain. Though she’s eating well, her weight continues to drop, a result of the inefficient digestion common to cancer patients.

We’ll update you again a few days after Mary’s doctor visit – and maybe then she’ll even tell us what’s on her “Benefits” list.

“I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my song.” (Isaiah 22:12)