You didn’t ask.

FOBMary and I share the same taste in movies. High on our list is a set of clean-cut family films, Father of the Bride I and II. Tonight as Mary and I talked on the phone, a line from the second movie was rolling around in my head.

Nina and George, a middle-aged couple trying to cope with life’s changes, decide to sell their spectacular big home. Both are deeply attached to it but think a new place might bring a fresh start.

Immediately after selling, they learn their buyer is about to raze the house and build two in its place. George plants himself between the house and the wrecking ball, determined to save “his” home.

Mr. HabeebWith great alarm he says, “You didn’t tell me you were going to destroy it!”

Mr. Habeeb (the buyer) says, “You didn’t ask.”

*             *              *              *              *

 

There’s no way we can think to ask all the important questions in life. Had George thought to ask, he wouldn’t have sold.

In the last 40 days, Mary and Bervin have been bombarded with medical information, and at the end of each instruction they’ve been asked, “Do you have any questions?”

Most of us are overloaded at moments like that and usually say, “I don’t think so.”

Isn’t it nice to know there is a place without any pressure to ask the right questions? It’s in our relationship with God.

He says a time will come when he’ll send answers to our questions before we even ask them, and Mary and Bervin have experienced that already.

photo(118)For example, yesterday Mary’s feeding tube clogged. Despite Bervin’s mechanical know-how, he couldn’t get it functioning, and Mary was without nutrition for 24 hours. So today they headed back to the hospital for a repair or, if necessary, a painful surgical procedure to correct the problem.

Despite a valiant effort on the part of two “tube experts,” the flow remained blocked, and over hours of time, Mary was admitted and prepped for the procedure. At the last minute, however, a new tech appeared. “Let me try,” he said, and all of a sudden the tube cleared.

How often is a patient told, “You can climb off the table, ditch the hospital gown, and get dressed.” Mary and Bervin hadn’t asked God to spare her from the procedure, but he gave that anyway.

In another example, just before Mary transferred from the hospital to the hotel last week, a 30-something man with a serious infection was rolled into the room across the hall. A sad young wife and the man’s troubled parents told Mary this was his 4th surgery in a short time, and stress was running high.

As she sat in her empty room awaiting discharge papers, she wished she had something to give them. Just then a gift was delivered to Mary’s room, which she immediately shared with the folks across the hall. She hadn’t asked, but God had answered.

In Father of the Bride II, Mr. Habeeb gave George’s house back to him, but not before George had emptied his bank account. But our generous God delivers his positive answers…. without charge.

“I will answer them before they even call to me.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for the friendly competent staff at Mayo’s
  2. Praise for the cleared tube and aborted surgery
  3. Pray the change in formula will bring relief from abdominal gas pain
  4. Pray for serious weight gain, now that Mary is down to 109 lbs, at 5’7”.

The Kindness of Strangers

Whenever I talk to Mary (still in Rochester, MN), one of the things she inevitably mentions is the thoughtfulness of strangers. She can’t understand why people who’ve never met her might be interested in her situation, much less offer to pray for her.

Many of you blog readers are in the group she’s marveling over, and one of you, a woman neither Mary nor I have ever met, did something truly special last week.

Prayer shawl.In the days before surgery, someone named Rachel asked (through this blog) if Mary owned a prayer shawl. Though I’d heard of prayer shawls, I had the misconception only priests or rabbis wore them, and only in a church or temple.

My second misunderstanding was that prayer shawls were all about prayers prayed while the shawl was being worn, but Rachel straightened me out: “While a prayer shawl is being made,” she wrote, “prayers are being said for the recipient.” And here was a stranger wanting to make something beautiful for Mary, with prayer in every stitch. Astonishing.

Prayer shawlsRachel said, “The shawl can be used in any way someone would use a shawl, as a wrap, as a covering when resting, or just to touch while it rests beside you.”

I called Mary, and it didn’t take 2 seconds to say “yes”. For some- one who believes wholeheartedly in the power of prayer, such a gift was of grand proportions.

As God would have it, the shawl (of Mary’s favorite color) arrived in my mailbox the day before I drove to Mayo Clinic. The evening before surgery, Mary and the rest of us went out to dinner, Mary’s last food-by-mouth for many weeks (due to her feeding tube). Over coffee and dessert she opened the box.

Prayer shawlOnce again she was stunned by the kindness of a stranger. As it turns out, Rachel has made prayer shawls for many: she became a widow shortly before I did and wrote, “My husband was a great part of this ministry. He might come home from the dog park, the grocery store, or the community center and tell me about someone who was dealing with something in their life he thought would be made easier if they had a prayer shawl.” And Rachel would get to work.

Her selfless act for stranger-Mary moved us all, challenging us to watch for strangers in our own lives who might need encouraging. We never know when that person might be a messenger from God, because with him, anything is possible.

IMG_0605Rachel closed her email with, “I’m honored for the opportunity to make this shawl for Mary.” And now she is a stranger-no-more.

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:1-2)

 

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for grown “kids” taking time off work and driving far distances to spend time with Mary and Bervin
  2. Praise for God’s provision of co-workers in Mary’s ministry work at home, who have picked up the slack for her since February 15
  3. For relief from rumbling gas pain in her abdomen
  4. For steady weight gain, despite only relying on the feeding tube for nutrition

A Word from Mary

Hello everyone,

Trusting GodMargaret has graciously given me the opportunity to say a few words to you, and I am thrilled to do so.  I am overwhelmed and touched by the outpouring of love and support.  First, that Margaret would take the time and precious space in her blog to share my story and second, that so many of you would respond by praying for our family.  God is answering the prayers of His people and giving us peace and courage as we journey down this cancer road.  He has been faithful, and we have sensed His presence every step of the way.

Jesus in the ORAs I face the upcoming surgery on Monday, I know Jesus goes into the operating room with me, and that I am in His hands. Whatever the outcome, I am convinced it will be best for me, has the potential to bring about good things in others and most importantly can glorify God.  Joni Erickson Tada said, “Often God uses something bad to bring about something good.” Joni is a stunning picture of this.  Margaret just shared the story of Jim and Elizabeth Elliot a few nights ago, another wonderful example.  My prayer is that I would walk worthy…in Him and for Him.

A verse that has been a favorite of mine for many years is Psalm 61:2 where it says. “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” That Rock, Jesus, is our Anchor in this storm.  When the waters get rough and we begin to drift into worry and fear, He gently draws us back to the solid Rock, where we find strength for the moment, courage to face what’s ahead and that wonderful peace that passes all understanding.

So thank you for your prayers and many kindnesses.  We stand amazed, and we are grateful.  I know the Lord will bless you, as you are blessing us.

With much gratitude to God for you,

Love, Mary

My prayer requests:

  1. Praise for a good day and good visits from friends
  2. Praise for God’s Word that encourages and comforts
  3. An unspoken family request
  4. Prayer that the Word of Christ might “dwell in me richly” and that I might go directly there when fears sneak in

“The Lord is my strength and my shield. In Him my heart trusts, and I am helped.  My heart exalts, and with my song I give thanks to Him.” (Psalm 28:7)