Category Archives: Prayer

Defying Logic

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Yesterday’s flight from the West Coast back to Michigan was flawless. We flew from the Pacific Ocean over snow covered Mount Hood (11,800 ft.), across the Badlands of South Dakota, and above a succession of massive, round wheat fields sprouting from desert sands.

Every seat on our 737 was full, and as always, I marveled at the efficiency of modern air travel, wondering how jet engines can possibly lift the weight of all of us, plus the heavy plane.

Orville and Wilbur Wright would probably refuse to get on a modern jetliner, certain that thinking adults couldn’t believe such a monstrosity would actually fly. Although I did get on, it seemed to defy all logic to me, too. Yet up we went, lifting off the concrete runway with the ease of a seagull rising from the beach.

Sometimes I think it defies logic that God could possibly square off with all my prayers, an imponderable task of answering each one with a yes, no, or maybe. I don’t doubt he hears them all, from me and every other person calling to him, but answering them all? It must be worse than an airport traffic controller trying to keep a thousand planes from bumping into each other while coming and going at the same time.

But God’s involvement with our prayers is even more complicated than that. While he’s rearranging circumstances and facts in response to our asking, seeking, and knocking (which includes everything from the weather to “chance” meetings), he’s also rearranging our emotions, thoughts, and wills. For example, when we ask him to soothe our grief or influence a decision, he goes into action on the unseen parts inside of us. This defies all logic. Like Orville and Wilbur, I’m tempted to think, it can’t be done.

But as our plane took off yesterday and I watched the ground shrink from view, all I could do was trust the unseen principles of aeronautics to do “the impossible” and fly me home through thin air. And because jets have done this for me again and again, defying logic every time, my trust factor has increased to the point of not even flinching when I step onto a heavy, loaded plane. I do it with confidence.

The same principle applies with God. I can ask him to work his wonders on an impossible set of circumstances. Then when he does, my trust in him soars… even higher than the most powerful jet airplane.

“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

What should a mentor ask for?

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Friday’s blog post quoted what a good mentor might say through letters my Aunt Joyce had sent to me. Your response was delightfully enthusiastic, and over the weekend something lovely happened when I met up with her children at a wedding in Washington State. These California cousins handed me a green leather book with Aunt Joyce’s name embossed on the front. “You’ll enjoy looking at this,” they said.

At first I didn’t recognize the book with its pretty gold edges, but inside I saw it was from me, inscribed to Aunt Joyce for her 88th birthday. It was a devotional journal, and after each day’s entry, there was space for her written reflections. Aunt Joyce had written down her thoughts and prayers, giving me a glimpse of how a good mentor talks to God.

During the 4 hour plane ride home tonight, I immersed myself in what she wrote and was impacted by her honesty before her Lord, wondering if you readers might be impacted, too. Below are quotes from this journal, plucked with care so as not to reveal her secrets but to show all of us how a godly woman sees herself in relation to God:

  • Oh God, my trust is in you. I ask for deliverance from my feelings.
  • Lord, order my conduct, and take my burdens.
  • Remove my fear and anxiety. You said you would. I depend on that. Keep my mind stayed on Thee.
  • Rejoice exceedingly, Joyce!
  • God, if it’s not too late, I commit my cause to you. Help me do your way and will.
  • “…that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Wow! Me?
  • Lord, keep my attention on your side, not mine.
  • Lord, I need to be motivated by your love. I ask this by your Spirit. Thank you, right now.
  • Lord, open my eyes to see my enemy, which equals my captivity. Give me your equipment for fighting against captivity to sin. I want to conquer sin in my thoughts, attitudes, and actions.
  • I feel like I’m going through your refiner’s fire to purify my wickedness. I’ve had anger, stress, and frustration when I should have had hope!
  • Thank you for my Edward [husband of 62 years then]. I did not have sense enough myself to choose such quality.
  • God’s grace is like a sandwich. The top of the bun is what I deserve from Him. The filling is God’s grace. The bottom is what I receive from Him… life eternal.
  • I thank God for blessing received with no sorrow added.
  • I need someone greater, wiser, stronger and more powerful than I am. In Him I have everything.
  • Often God’s way up is down, but He’s there with us, too.
  • I became a new being today, started all over – forgiven, cleansed, powered by Him through the Holy Spirit. Praise to the Almighty, over and over! I’m so grateful.
  • To know Him is to love Him. I love you, Lord, and want to know you more.
  • I’m starting to understand what grace is, and what my comfort can be.
  • Stress and suffering shows me so clearly how very much I need Him, how hopeless and helpless I am without Him. I surrender all, dear Jesus, to you.

One of Aunt Joyce’s favorite verses, written out in her journal, is: “The Lord will perfect what concerns me.” (Psalm 138:8)

Wait-and-See

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Between my sister’s family and mine, we’ve racked up 25 trips to local emergency rooms. Admittedly, most were a result of raising 14 adventurous children, but we adults have to take credit for some of them. Yesterday it was my turn.

One week ago a searing pain took over my left side so powerfully I couldn’t move to reach my phone or get enough breath to yell for Birgitta in the next room. It raged for nearly an hour before subsiding but eventually went away completely.

Later that day I told Louisa and Birgitta about it but asked them to keep it quiet. Although they honored my request, they pressured me to tell my sister Mary, our family nurse. I knew if I did, she’d insist I take immediate medical action, so I decided instead to just wait-and-see.

As the week progressed, other curious symptoms popped up: two sharp pains in the upper back, occasional dizziness, achy feelings in my chest, extra fatigue. Were these warnings about an approaching heart event? I didn’t want to risk damage by waiting, but didn’t want to over-react either. So I did what I always do when I don’t know what to do.

I asked God, then decided to just wait-and-see.

A short while later, I was catching up on emails and among them was a friend’s description of an adult daughter’s new heart problem. She also shared about her husband’s unexpected heart procedure at age 70. All I could think was, “Lord, you’ve answered my prayer, and now I know what to do.”

I told Mary.

Although I wasn’t in severe pain, within 90 minutes I was packed and driving from Michigan to Chicago where the two of us walked into the E.R. at Rush Medical Center. Approaching the check-in desk I casually said, “I’m having mild chest pain and…”

In seconds I was tucked into a wheelchair and whisked toward multiple blood tests, a chest x-ray, a rolling EKG, an IV line, and hospital admittance. I didn’t even have time to notify my children. My medical adventure culminated in this morning’s treadmill stress test, monitored by a doctor, a nurse, and a tech.

The upshot of the whole episode? I’m 100% heart-healthy with less than a 1% chance of ever having a heart attack.

So what was that all about? Maybe it was to prompt gratitude for the days I’m not in an ER. It could have been to get educated about heart-health, which we did. Maybe it was to newly appreciate my sister’s love and concern. Possibly it was a dress rehearsal for what’s coming, or a test of whether or not I really trust God when trouble hits. I guess I’ll just wait-and-see.

The whole thing leaves me with several questions, but I may never get the answers. Though ER docs suggested I follow-up with my regular internist this week, I think I’ll just…

wait-and-see.

“Keep watch over me and keep me out of trouble; don’t let me down when I run to you.” (Psalm 25:20, The Message)