Category Archives: Remembering

Preacher Man

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The longer I live, the more I see God as a good Father who loves to gift his children with surprises. And recently he delivered a big one to us.

Nelson with YWAMNelson, our firstborn, has worked in Youth With A Mission (YWAM) for about a decade in a variety of locations and assignments, everything from pie-in-the-face youth activities to complicated teachings. Over the years, he’s also performed weddings, done baptisms, led worship sessions, and preached sermons.

But Part One of God’s Two-Part surprise didn’t begin with any of that. It all started with… a hernia operation.

Nelson had done more than his share of heavy lifting over the years, particularly in his landscaping business, and was badly in need of a repair. So the surgery took place in a small hospital on the island of Hawaii with an expected good result – as long as Nelson agreed not to lift anything heavier than 15 pounds.

Since his position with YWAM included lots of action and some unavoidable lifting, it seemed wise to recuperate away from all that, at his friend Derek’s home off campus. And it was during those 10 days that God unwrapped his surprise.

Derek and familyDerek’s family was in the process of making a big decision during those same 10 days – whether or not to move away from Hawaii to live in Colorado and pursue a worthwhile opportunity there. Derek has pastored a small but famous church on the Big Island for a decade (The Little Red Church) and Nelson has attended whenever possible, subbing in as the preacher now and then, when Derek has been away.

Hashing this over together during Nelson’s post-op days, Derek’s family, Nelson, and God all came to the same conclusion: it was indeed time for the family to move to the Mainland. What happened next surprised us all. I’ll let Nelson tell it:

“As I spent time with them, processing and thinking about how we as believers try to hear from and obey God, the logical question was, ‘Who will pastor the church when you leave?’ And almost as soon as I asked it, I felt a strong impression that it would be me… like God was challenging me to at least be willing.

“So I decided that if it were needed, and if it were possible, I’d do it. I wondered if I’d even qualify – never having been to seminary and not being ordained.”

And that ushered in Part One of God’s surprise, which was that he had prepared Nelson with a ready “yes” to becoming a pastor, if that’s what the Lord wanted. But God wasn’t finished yet.

Since I was already in Hawaii, Derek’s wife Heeran invited me for dinner one night while Nelson was still there recuperating, and Derek presented the surprising development that he was leaving and Nelson might take his place. “So… what do you think?” he said.

(…tomorrow, Part Two of the surprise)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

What about Jack?

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Our good buddy Jackie-Boy has written his last blog. On January 5th his gentle heart stopped beating, and he fell to sleep. All of us began grieving the minute we made the appointment, but no one suggested we reverse the decision.

Snow dog, usedEarlier, Jack and I had shared a last walk, crunching our way around the neighborhood on icy snow, taking our time. For once I didn’t hurry him with, “C’mon, Jack. Let’s keep moving.” He stopped and sniffed to his heart’s content, though his heavy limp revealed a shoulder that was more painful than ever. But the frosty cold and 21 degrees was his dream weather.

Once at the vet’s office with Birgitta, Emerald, Louisa and her boyfriend Teddy, Mary, and me, he sniffed his way around, wagging happily and returning to each of us repeatedly for loving pats. Even after we moved to a private room, Jack continued to do well. The rest of us, though, deteriorated fast. It was hard to see the white blanket lying on the floor, though we were told he didn’t have to lie on it — his choice.

After that, our tears began to fall, and an invisible blanket of sadness wrapped around all of us. Dr. Mike, Jack’s vet, is exceptionally gentle and had been Jack’s friend for years. He’d given him an overall assessment several months ago and hinted back then that this day wasn’t too far off.

IMG_1422The scale indicated Jack had lost seven pounds, down to 72. None of us revealed, though, that just before coming to Dr. Mike’s he’d eaten two lamb shanks, a gift from his ever-thoughtful “Aunt” Mary. His tummy had never been happier — and there wouldn’t be time for an upset stomach.

Patiently Dr. Mike took us through the details of what was ahead and answered our questions. And then it was time… one injection to coax him to sleep and a second to stop his heart.

Jack, always a patient patient, didn’t even flinch as the first one was administered, but within a few short minutes his steps began to wobble like someone who’d had too much to drink. He walked over to the white blanket and plopped down right in the center of it, a wise choice. Kneeling in front of him, I petted, hugged, kissed, and loved my pal in every way I could, as the others did, too. Then, fully relaxed and feeling no pain, he slowly closed his pretty brown eyes.

“Take all the time you need,” Dr. Mike said. “I’ll come back when you’re ready.”

Wetting his fur with our tears, we loved on Jack and hung onto our last moments with him. But then it was time for the doctor to come back for the final step. Jack didn’t move when an IV line was inserted into his leg and the last drug put in. Though we’d been warned he might open his mouth, gasp for air, shudder, pant, or lose his bowels, none of that happened. He just slipped away without any movement at all – a good dog, even in death.

As for the rest of us, we couldn’t stop crying. Leaving the room while Jack remained on the white blanket was awful. Carrying his collar out without him in it hurt terribly. And as we arrived home to his footprints in the snow, my sobbing just wouldn’t stop. But that was only the beginning.

All the next day I stayed in my pajamas, something I haven’t done in 70 years. Unable to deal with dismantling Jack’s bed, washing his bowls, or putting his leash away, I just cried and cried. I’m fairly sure part of it was the history Jack and I shared with Nate. Six years ago when he died, Jack had moved in close with cuddly comfort. Though I still can’t explain it, my tears that day were somehow linked with fresh sadness about Nate, too.

The second day after was better, probably because it had to be. Birgitta, Emerald, and I boarded three consecutive flights on a 20-hour travel day that took us to Kona, Hawaii, and the University of the Nations there. [ Next post…. I promise.]

IMG_1427In the mean time, we’re thanking God for our dear pal Jack and the gentle way he left us. As we said goodbye to Dr. Mike that day, he hugged both Mary and I and said, “You’ve just given the kindest gift of all to your dog.” And though it still hurts, I know that’s the truth.

For everything there is a season… a time to be born, and a time to die. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

A Desire Accomplished

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CollaboratorsIn 2005, Mary and I began talking about the possibility of writing a book together – someday.  It would be about raising our 14 children together, with the hope of encouraging today’s young moms. We would share what worked and what didn’t, not as experts but as ordinary women who learned by trial and error.

The next year, 2006, we began meeting to strategize, and got together 8 times to plan the book. Mary, a whiz at bringing order from chaos, would establish the “bones” of it, after which I would put “flesh” on those bones through writing. We would use examples from our own experience, including failures, since we learned the most from them.

Table of ContentsWe wrote a statement of purpose and chose a tentative title and subtitle: Old Mommies to New Mommies, What we wish we’d known at the beginning.

We labeled 10 giant yellow envelopes with 10 chapter titles and began filling them with “snippets” of mothering information that would eventually become polished prose. We began writing what would evolve into 57 sidebars and gathered a team of friends who were willing to pray for us.

But then, as I wrote in a blog posted on May 3 of this year, life got in the way:

My family moved from our home of 29 years to a much smaller place and had to focus on eliminating and concentrating. Shortly thereafter, Nate got sick, and in a whirlwind of upheaval and grief, he passed away.

While we were still reeling, Mary and Bervin’s home of 40 years sold, and they too downsized big-time. Then shortly after that, Mary learned of her cancer and began treatment with major surgery and 6 months of chemo. During these same years the two of us greeted 19 new grandchildren and 6 new in-law children.

And our book was set aside.

But since we’d asked God to orchestrate the timing, we just figured he wasn’t ready yet—until that day 8 months ago when he gave us his green light. (A Blog Hiatus) And so we dug out our old notes and went to work.

Chapter 1Today we happily announce that our book is finished! It has taken 8 months, scores of meetings, and hundreds of hours, but we’ve enjoyed every single minute. And since we’ve asked the Lord to choose a publisher, we’re currently in another wait-zone. But we’ll keep you posted on whatever 2016 brings.

P.S. As a publishing postscript, the book of prayers for widows that I was working on in 2014 was published on December 2 and is now available in bookstores and on web sites. (See left margin.)

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you…. one voice [to] glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 15:5-6)