Category Archives: Remembering

“I need you!”

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Back in 1624, John Donne wrote a meditation that included the sentence, “No man is an island.” Since the beginning of time people have needed each other, beginning with Adam needing Eve. None of us gets life right by ourselves, and the presence of another brings more than just companionship. It often brings wise counsel, too. Asking for advice is a good thing, even scriptural.

Recently I’ve been reminiscing about my own mentor, Aunt Joyce, who advised and encouraged me for 39 years. I clearly remember the day it began. I’d just arrived in California as a 19-year-old for a second happy summer living with my cousins. A mob of us had finished lunch, and everyone had left the table except my aunt and me.

She said, “I know you had a great time here last summer, but you can’t be sure it’ll be the same this year. It could go either way.”

I nodded, thinking about her words long after I’d left the table, since that possibility hadn’t occurred to me. Her counsel had been practical and sensible, and in giving it, she’d put a welcome mat between us, inviting me to come to her any time. And for nearly 4 decades, I took full advantage.

Aunt Joyce, baby Nelson, and meAunt Joyce faithfully prayed for me and offered counsel until she died in 2005, at the age of 92. Most of her guidance came in handwritten letters which I saved, making her wisdom available to me any time. The miles between us never hampered our relationship because the bond we had was a sturdy bridge. Before Aunt Joyce died, she had begun mentoring our daughter Linnea (as well as many from other families) and was spending large chunks of time praying for her and the rest of us.

The beauty of mentoring is its non-threatening, non-pressured atmosphere. Aunt Joyce wasn’t my mother, a police woman, a professor, or a preacher. With all restrictions lifted, she could just be herself, and I could be myself, sharing back and forth without judgment.

We see biblical mentoring throughout Scripture: Joshua mentored by Moses, Mary by Elizabeth, Barnabas by Paul and of course the twelve disciples by Jesus. And just like I still have Aunt Joyce’s letters, each of us is privy to biblical writings containing all manner of wise counsel.

IMG_2755When I lost my earthly mentor, she left a void no other woman could fill, so I asked the Lord if he would be to me what Aunt Joyce had been. Although he often uses a variety of people to bring me through, he’s also just fine with doing it by himself.

“For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” (Psalm 48:14)

Love Without End

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Nate once gave me a Rolex watch worth $5000. When I later lost it, I felt awful. It used to be the only people who were given gold watches had earned them by working forty years at the same institution. Retirement and the watch came together, but I hadn’t done a thing to deserve such a fine gift. As always, Nate had been generous to his wife but not to himself, buying the watch he wished he had, for me. His own watch came from Walmart.

When I tried to think of some way to show my remorse over losing the watch, my only idea was to buy a Rolex for him. But I didn’t work outside our home and had no paycheck. The weekly allowance he gave me worked well to manage our household, but the dollars were mostly spoken-for. The only answer was to save a little bit here and there until I finally had enough.

Rolex watch boxIt took me several years.

But the day finally came when I counted $2500 in my plump envelope of bills. I drove to Peacocks Jewelry Store feeling like a Depression-era child about to buy her dream bicycle.

As the salesman spread out the few Rolex designs my money would buy, I chose the one that most resembled the watch he’d chosen for himself years before, for which he’d paid about $25. Before I left the store, I asked if Peacock’s would engrave something on the back:

Love engraved“I’ll love you till the end of time. Your Meg, Christmas, 1985.”

I couldn’t wait for Christmas morning. When it finally arrived, my gift was the hit I’d hoped it would be. Nate was dumbfounded, and he loved my engraved declaration of love on the back.

God also testifies of his deep love for us with an engraving. He says he’s carved us on his palms. In an effort to impress us with the depth of his commitment, he compares a nursing mother and her baby to his relationship with us and asks, “Can a mom forget her nursing child?”

I nursed all my babies. When I’d go out for an evening, leaving the baby at home, my body would always tell me it was time to head home and coax him or her to have an unscheduled meal, just to relieve the pressure. No nursing mother can forget her baby.

God says that in the unlikely case a nursing mother should forget, he never will. To prove it, he engraved us on his palms. Nate’s watch has been set aside now, and eventually it will stop running. But the good news about God’s love is that it’ll never stop.

Not ever.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:15-16)

 

Weighty Waits

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When our Nelson was three years old, he noticed the table set for dinner and climbed into his junior chair, hoping for something to eat. I was busy dishing up bowls of fruit when he began to whine. “I’m hungry! I wanna eat now!”

“Pretty soon,” I said. “When Papa gets home.”

His complaining escalated, and I told him to leave the kitchen and find something to do. But before he did, he asked three weighty questions.

Bowl of Fruit“Do I have to obey you?”

“You should,” I said.

“But do you have to obey anyone?”

For the sake of the analogy, I said, “Yes. Papa.”

“Then who does Papa have to obey?”

I could see where he was going. “Jesus,” I said.

There was a pause, and then he said, “Well… I just heard the Lord Jesus tell you, ‘Give that Nelson a bowl of fruit’!”

It was good theology, but he still had to wait.

The older I get, the more I see that life is full of unpleasant waiting. This morning during my prayer time, every situation I prayed over was something I’d been praying about for a long time. In some cases it’s been decades.

God isn’t asleep at the switch, and he’s not ignoring me. To the contrary, every one of my prayers has been heard and answered. But almost every answer has been, “Wait.” There’s a valid reason, though. As I’m asking the Lord to do things in the lives of others, he’s also interested in doing things in mine. And insisting I wait is effective toward that end.

He is also “setting the scene” for the best possible outcome, one that is so spectacular it can only belong to him.

Small Fry GardenThirty years ago when our first three children were three, five and seven, they begged to have their own gardens. I liked the idea and thought it would be a good way to teach the difficult concepts of waiting and delayed gratification. We turned over a strip of dirt on the south side of the garage and divided it into three sections. After a trip to the local nursery for seed packets and a few plants, they proudly stood in front of their handiwork for photos.

During the weeks to come, my nagging them to weed and water grew old for all of us, but they did have mild success, maybe 30%. As for the other 70%, it was just too hard to labor all summer while waiting for produce.

When it’s difficult to wait, especially for a harvest of spiritual fruit in myself or someone else, it’s helpful to remember we won’t always be waiting for things. Once we’ve left this world, delayed gratification will change to just plain gratified… and it might even include a big bowl of fruit.

“Since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!” (Isaiah 64:4)

Praising and Praying with Mary

I’m thanking the Lord my feeding tube was replaced today and that the procedure went well. Time will tell if the pain is gone.