Category Archives: Remembering

In a Timely Manner

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Train couponMany months after Nate died, I came across an expired coupon worth $8.00. The title read, “NICTD CONFIRMATION OF A LATE TRAIN.” Google let me know that NICTD stood for Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District, and it was clear what had happened.

Before Nate and I moved to SW Michigan in 2009, he had commuted to Chicago’s Loop from the suburbs for 37 years. After we moved, he still traveled to the Loop, but from the opposite direction, riding the South Shore Line from Michigan City.

Although Nate often bragged about the punctual Chicago trains, apparently the NICTD didn’t have the same track record. Many late trains coaxed them to establish a coupon system offering passengers a pay-back for extreme tardiness. Along the side of Nate’s coupon it reads, “60+MINUTES LATE.” That’s a woefully overdue train.

The cross-shaped punches in Nate’s coupon indicate he was on board this “at least 60+ minutes late” train on his fourth commuting day. With his back in severe pain and his body suffering from hidden pancreatic cancer, he must have been beyond miserable while the train sat on a track neither here nor there.

I can tell from Nate’s oversized handwriting on the coupon that he was frustrated. I don’t know why he never redeemed it, surely intending to do so on principle. He used to say that when someone contracts to be on time, they should be, and each ticket purchased is a mini-contract.

Nate was always on time. If he was late for anything, it was because I had something to do with it, an aggravation during our early years together. He was right to be punctual, and I was wrong to be late. But as married people learn to do when compromise doesn’t work, one partner gives in, and with us it was Nate. I wish I’d tried harder to pull myself together.

South Shore LineBut God was watching, appreciating Nate’s desire to be on time. I say that because God is never late, and we are to emulate him. He usually waits to act until we think he is late, but when he comes through, it’s always spectacular. In this, he’s trying to teach us it’s important to be on time.

Those who’ve mastered punctuality on earth have already stockpiled treasure in heaven. Nate gets double credit for his efforts, because he put the interests of his wife ahead of his own by giving me grace. But both “early people” and “late people” will get some time-related perks in paradise. The “earlies” will never again have to struggle with the “lates”, and the “lates” will have all the time they need.

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in Your hand. (Psalm 31:14-15)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. As I receive infusion #8 tomorrow, I thank you for praying against nausea.
  2. My extra-busy week continues through this week as well. Thank you for your prayers for stamina and proper rest.

Reaching Perfection

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It’s hard to be perfect at anything. No matter how we try, our efforts are flawed. But when I was a kid, I got to be perfect at one thing: Sunday school attendance.

In the ‘40s and ‘50s, our church involvement went well beyond sitting through one hour-long worship service. Sunday school came before church, followed by a fellowship time, followed by “real” church. Since my family lived in the Chicago suburbs and Moody Church was in the city, we left home early and returned mid-afternoon, often heading back to church later for youth group and then an evening worship service.

Moody attendance pinNevertheless, many of us chased after perfect attendance. If we ventured out of town, a diligent search was made for an acceptable local church to attend. And it wasn’t good enough just to sit through a church service. In order to get attendance credit with our home church, we had to be present at a Sunday school hour, too. Then we proved that by bringing home a note from the vacation Sunday school, preferably written on their church letter-head.

If we successfully attended Sunday school for 52 weeks in a row, we received a gold and enamel brass bar attached to an attendance pin. Each new year came with a fresh chance to win another bar.

What made us want to attend Sunday school every single week of the year? In the beginning we were obedient little children just following orders, loving the flannel-graph stories and the teachers who taught them. That evolved into the fun of coming together with pals each week, which grew into asking hard questions from teachers who lived out their faith in front of us.

Many of us still point to these Sunday school teachers and youth pastors as important mentors in our lives. They encouraged us to “walk the high road” rather than cave in for instant gratification.

But the #1 motivation toward perfect Sunday school attendance was a person… actually three people. As we showed up week to week, we got to know and love (1)  God our heavenly Father, (2) Jesus our personal Savior, and the mysterious but powerful (3) Holy Spirit who, amazingly enough, was willing to live within us if we asked him. And because of these three, we learned that in God’s hands, even life’s negatives eventually yield blessings.

Sunday School pinWhether or not we find perfection in any category on this earth, the Trinity has offered to provide eternal perfection to all who believe. And we don’t even have to attend Sunday school to get it.

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of [Christ’s] return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

 

Flight of Time

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One of my favorite singers, Eydie Gorme, sang a song so thought-provoking that several years ago I wrote out the lyrics and filed them in a manila folder under “Time”, which was the name of her song.

She sang, “Back when I was young and summer was forever, ‘good’ was your first name.”

Nate on Healey StreetFor most people, good times fill their youthful years, along with hope for a happy future. I love looking at this picture of Nate taken in early 1971, because seeing him there in our first apartment, dressed as he is, floods my mind with good-time-memories. He was finishing law school, and I was teaching first grade. Although we had very few possessions and minimal money, it was all good times.

And then the clock began moving, ticking even as we slept. Nate graduated, we moved, he became a lawyer, I became a stay-at-home mommy. Seven kids grew up, went to college, moved away, and made us proud. We had weddings and then grandchildren. And in what seemed like a quick minute, time ended, at least for Nate. And my time as his wife ended, too.

Eydie sang, “Time, when did you begin trading your tomorrows for worn out just-todays?”

In January of 2010, when I’d been a widow for three months, I remember sitting in a chair at twilight, my hands in my lap, doing absolutely nothing but listening to the tick-tock of a wall clock. Immobilized by sadness, I didn’t know what to do. It seemed appropriate to just listen to time slipping away. I was worn out by grief, and life had morphed into a series of “worn out just-todays.”

The same wall clock is still ticking today, but I’m feeling much better. Sitting in a chair doing nothing isn’t something I want anymore. I remember Mom saying, as a new widow, “Life will never be the same.” I’m sure that thought floats through the mind of every new widow or widower who has had a satisfying marriage. It dominated my thinking for a long time, too.

It’s true that life can never be the same after a mate dies, and I know I’ll never stop wondering what today, tomorrow or next year would have been like, had Nate been with us. But today, tomorrow and next year can be good again. It’ll just be in new ways.

Eydie sang, “Time, you rolled into years, years that left me walking, when you began to fly.”

WalkingTime is indeed flying, and I may be walking rather than flying, but sometimes a long walk can turn out to be a really good time.

“The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong… but time and chance happen to them all.” (Eccl. 9:11)

Praying and Praising with Mary

  1. I’m thankful my nausea is mild after today’s chemo. Also, my painful feeding tube will most likely be replaced next week.
  2. Pray for strength and energy to cope with non-stop commitments for a week or so.