Newlywed Love (#111)

October 23-25, 1970

Nate’s lengthy Estate Planning memo was due on October 23 – a thick document he’d worked on from mid-summer till now. He was deep into several other classes, too, and had been pouring on the power night and day. On the 23rd when I left for school, he was proofreading one last time.

As I was about to dismiss my morning kindergarteners, he appeared at our classroom door sporting a wide grin. I knew that meant the paper was done, and ran to give him a big hug… while the children giggled at us.

“I came to take you out to a celebration lunch,” he said. It was a moment of triumph, and I was delighted he had wanted to drive 40 miles to spend it with me. When lunch was over, it was difficult to say goodbye, but duty called. And Nate had to get back to his books.

Estate planningHopefully he would graduate in January after one last batch of exams. Both of us were keyed up about the end finally being in sight. Focusing for so long on his Estate Planning paper, though, had done something special for him – peaked his interest in that field. He talked about looking for his first job at one of the many Chicago banks, in a trust department.

I got goose bumps thinking of moving back to the Chicago area, and as we talked further, the goose bumps only grew. That’s because Nate said he wanted to look at a few apartments the next time we drove through the city. I couldn’t believe it! That would be the following day, when we went north to meet Baby Luke.

As I grabbed him to dance around the room, he said, “It’s too early to commit to anything. This will be strictly for research purposes. We need to find out what Chicago apartments cost and figure out how much is too much.”

Hancock CenterNot the least bit discouraged I said, “Let’s look at the 100-story John Hancock Center,” a nearly-new building purported to be the second tallest in the world. I’d heard it was one-third offices, one-third apartments, and one-third parking. And right on Lake Michigan’s beautiful shore!

After entertaining six friends on Friday evening, we got up early Saturday and headed for Chicago – and the John Hancock Center. It was a rude awakening to find out the only way to live there was to buy your apartment, and the prices were exorbitant!

We traveled north along Sheridan Road, stopping at several more buildings, all on Lake Michigan. Our research showed us that we wouldn’t be able to afford a high-rise or lakefront apartment at all but would have to settle for something “lower” (in terms of floors) and “farther” (away from the lake).

And there was one other factor, something that might have powerful sway over where we lived after graduation: The Army.

The ArmyWe knew at a minimum Nate would have to go on active duty for the summer, but depending on what I would be doing, we hoped we could still live together – whether in Chicago or at one of the many military posts across the land.

But only time would tell.

“My times are in Your hands.” (Psalm 31:15)

Newlywed Love (#110)

October 20-23, 1970

As the days passed, we didn’t see or hear from either Cathy or John. Our history had been to check in with each other frequently, and it wasn’t unusual for us to get together 3-4 times a week.

But our last conversation had ended badly with unresolved tension over the differences in our spiritual beliefs. As Nate and I talked about it further, I got an idea that was probably from God. Never once had Cathy and I done something apart from our guys. So I thought I’d reach out to her just one-on-one, two wives trying to be friends.

Nate thought the idea had promise, so I called Cathy. We talked without any strain, and then she came up with a great suggestion… a way to spend time together while also being productive. As a team of two, we would home-make all our Christmas gifts.

Just CathyThe next day she came over for coffee, and neither of us brought up her amorous professor or the subject of open marriage. Instead we listed gift ideas that would be inexpensive and fun to make – candles, chocolates, simple sewing items, and maybe some knitted things.

Cathy had a natural ability to organize and troubleshoot (skills I lacked), so she would assemble our supplies, and I would develop the ideas of how to use them.

A few days later we began by melting chunks of wax in my double boiler, coloring them with stubs of broken crayons I’d gleaned from my school’s waste baskets. At the end of the evening, we had several finished products and were ready to run a test on one of them. Hopefully it would actually burn.

Which two...It lit right up, and our victory shout was loud enough to bring Nate from his paper-writing. Never mind that the candle burned down twice as fast a store-bought version. It had a flame, it was a candle, and we were thrilled.

Gradually we worked out an efficient assembly line and were churning out all kinds of candles, no two alike — some thin, others fat, and some hand-shaped in rough-looking balls. When they were all lined up on my pull-down ironing board, they were an impressive sight.

But best of all was that Cathy and I had deepened our friendship without a hint of tension. As we parted, we set a date to start making chocolates.

Fanny May“I know how to do hand-dipping that will look as good as Fanny May!” she said. Both of our extended families loved chocolate candy, and we couldn’t wait to get started on Phase 2 of the Christmas Gift Adventure — and to continue growing a new friendship.

“Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them.” (Luke 6:31)

Newlywed Love (#109)

October 15-18, 1970

As the week passed, we eagerly awaited Mary and Bervin’s call about their baby. I told Nate, “She must feel like a ticking time bomb.”

ConcordsWhen I finally decided to call her, she was in the middle of making grape jelly from Concords growing in their back yard. No idle sitting and waiting for her.

And then it happened! On Thursday, October 15, Bervin let us know they had become the parents of a healthy baby boy named Luke Charles —

8 pounds 9 ounces with mother and baby doing great!

Baby LukeThis news sent me into a happy tailspin like a wild kite that couldn’t decide where to fly. I wanted to jump in the car immediately and head for Chicago, but when I finally talked to Mary, she said I should wait. She and Luke would be in the hospital for 5 more days, and visiting time was limited to the father and two approved visitors per day for just a few minutes each.

Swedish Covenant Hospital was determined to protect new moms from overdoing, and strict visiting hours were part of that. Mary invited us to come the following weekend, October 24-25, when they would be home.

Mom was ecstatic about her first grandchild and waxed eloquent in her diary:

Thank you, Wonderful Lord. Thank you! Luke will always belong to you first. By 7:00 we were at the hospital and saw LIL LUKE! The 4 of us stood and adored the wee boy. Our cup is full and running over indeed! Called Margaret and Tom…

Mom's diary, Oct. 15

Meanwhile Mom was limited in her visiting time, too, and wouldn’t get to actually hold Luke till he was at home. It would be a challenge for her even then, because she had taken a fall a few days earlier, badly breaking her arm and bruising her tailbone.

Mom holding LukeHer cast and the constant pain reoriented her life in an unwelcome way. Mom loved to work hard, and being side-lined was the worst possible fate for her. She didn’t take it well.

Her first loss was having to stop playing the Moody Church organ for 6-7 weeks. She also had garden bulbs she had hoped to plant, along with several small trees. And there was her annual fall canning project — cherries, peaches, applesauce, grape jelly, and tomatoes.

She’d also had scheduled herself to lay some indoor-outdoor carpeting, paint the sun porch, and organize the small greenhouse she and Dad maintained through the winter. Her entertaining schedule was packed with hosting dinners at home, as well as cooking every week at the all-church supper.

She was hoping to antique four chairs, rake the yard, and bring potted plants inside before the first freeze. Dad understood her struggle but did his best to slow her down. “If you overdo, the bone won’t heal right.” But he knew his warnings were falling on deaf ears. After all, it was MOM.

Dad admiresShe wouldn’t be a typical orthopedic case… nor would she ever be a typical grandma.

“I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.” (Revelation 2:19)