Category Archives: Remembering

Newlywed Love (#105)

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October 3-5, 1970

On Saturday morning we invited my old carpool buddy Linda and her husband Ron over for an early breakfast. We hadn’t connected since the summer and wanted to swap stories of how things were going in our new schools.

percolatorIt was an especially cold morning, so Nate built a fire to make our get-together special. I scrambled eggs and made toast while the coffee percolated, and everything was ready when they walked in the door.

The four of us shared lively conversation around the table until mid-morning, and Linda commiserated with me over my ongoing 80 mile round-trip to Danville each day. Her new commute was about 3 miles.

But we reminisced about how very special that year at McKinley School had been when Judy, Linda, and I were all newlyweds and new teachers together – a unique time in our lives. Progress would continue to separate us, but we hoped we would always remain friends, even if only long distance.

Sumac.After they left, Nate and I decided to steal a couple of hours from his heavy study schedule to visit our favorite place – Allerton Park. The leaves were turning, and I was especially enamored with the red sumac and its velvety, crimson cones. After picking an arm-load of branches and collecting a bag-full of the cones, I couldn’t wait to decorate our classroom for the season.

Picking pine conesNate gathered pine cones for an art project that would happen closer to Christmas. Then, once our work was done, we spent some quality time together on a blanket drinking coffee and munching on red licorice.

When we got home, I spread out my autumn collection on the table and thought about the many creative suggestions my students were sure to offer about how to use it all.

 

The next day, Sunday, included another lively discussion in the  young couples’ group. Our class name was J.O.Y. — Jesus, others, and you — but lately it lacked joy and was more like a debate competition. Martin wasn’t there, but another young husband, Warren, took his place.

He didn’t criticize the pastor but made a fool of himself with senseless arguing. Once again Nate jumped in, and I felt sorry for Pastor Ralph as he tried to wrangle the discussion back on topic.

After church and Sunday school, Nate and I followed our usual Sunday routine: eggs for brunch, the Chicago Sunday Tribune spread all over the bed, and then a nap.

Relaxing at AllertonI told Nate I was glad our first home wasn’t in either of our home towns. That way we didn’t get swept into the weekend schedules of all the relatives but held more tightly to each other – a good way to start a marriage.

“He lets me rest in green meadows. He leads me beside peaceful streams.” (Psalm 23:2)

Newlywed Love (#104)

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October 1-2, 1970

Indian Summer was over, and the first frost had blanketed Champaign. We were delighted to be using our fireplace again and often ate dinner in front of it.

Fireside dinnerBoth of us were glad we hadn’t succumbed to the summertime temptation to move. I had wanted to exchange our fireplace for Country Fair’s swimming pool, but now their pool was closed after just 3 months – and we would get to enjoy cozy fires for the next 6 months.

We continued our evening walks (dressed in jackets and shoes now) while talking about the many decisions we would soon have to make. When our lease ran out in August of 1971, we’d be moving… but where? Which city? What address? And would Nate be a civilian, or would the Army own him? If the Army, where would he be stationed? Which state? Or… the worst question mark of all… would he be sent to Vietnam?

If he wasn’t on active duty, might he be working at a law job? And just to be prepared for this possibility, when should he take the Bar Exam? Would he pass it on the first try? And if not, where would he work before being able to re-take the exam? And where would I be working? Without certification and with provisional openings now eliminated, what would I be doing?

UncertaintyNate and I would lie awake in bed long into the night pondering these questions. But no matter how we guessed what might happen, not one question had a firm answer. The process was exhausting, and though we knew God would eventually replace every question mark with a period, the not-knowing was wearing.

Finally, we decided the best approach would be to dwell on whatever had been decided – the things without question marks.

Our faith in Christ came first and was strong. We were being spiritually nourished at our church and enjoyed a mentor-type relationship with Pastor Ralph and his wife Lottie. We had supportive, loving families on both sides and a bright future. And with friends galore, our calendar was full of happy get-togethers.

As we talked quietly in the safety and comfort of each other’s arms, we counted our marriage as one of the very best things without a question mark. Our newlywed year was almost over, and through the months we had become more and more attached, never bored or frustrated. Actually, there were many days when we just couldn’t get enough of each other.

TogethernessBoth of us felt free to be ourselves with no need to play any relationship games, which made for a stress-free marriage and a happy home. Though the list of questions loomed large and sometimes seemed to threaten, as we drifted off to sleep their influence almost always faded — having given way to the rock-solid affirmations that didn’t have any question marks at all — and never would.

“You have been called to live in freedom… Use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13)

Newlywed Love (#103)

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September 28-30, 1970

After my harrowing drive home from work, the next morning Nate made an announcement. “I’m going with you to Danville today.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll never see those two guys again,” I said.

My safe place“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

I loved him for loving me in this kind way, so rather than fighting it, I just enjoyed his presence all day – and had fun showing him off to the staff. He loved chatting with “my children” and found them to be as charming as I did.

 

When the weekend finally came, I couldn’t wait for Sunday school and hoped Martin would be there. Though both of us knew he wouldn’t dare insult the pastor again, the whole class had loved watching Nate elevate truth over lies.

Martin and his wife did attend, but he remained quiet. Later I wrote in my journal, “Today they didn’t get into any verbal battles. Too bad.”

On Sunday afternoon, I began typing Nate’s endless pages of Estate Planning papers. Difficult as that was with so many 50-cent words, at the end of several hours I felt a deep satisfaction in having worked in tandem with my husband. And for once, rather than him always helping me, I’d finally been able to help him.

Our financial woes continued, despite my teaching checks coming in regularly again. I earned about two-thirds of what I’d made in the Chicago schools, and we were way behind in tuition payments.

One day I got an idea. I would try to sell some articles to magazines. It wouldn’t pay much, but even a little would help. So I resurrected my college writing files, including several “A”- graded assignments from a writing class during senior year. Without much trouble, they could be polished into articles that might sell.

Nate down-played our poverty. “At least we don’t have to buy anything for our apartment,” he said. “Remember what it was like last year at this time?”

Silver and crystalIt had been mostly empty then, our footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors. Now it was warm and inviting, and we lacked for nothing. Actually, because of wedding gifts, we had a hutch full of silver, crystal, and china that looked out of place in the home of two poverty-stricken newlyweds.

One evening the pastor came over, and I served him his coffee in a bone china cup with a sterling spoon on the saucer. He ate his piece of cake from a silver plate and had a linen napkin in his lap. “Oh my!” he said when I put it all down in front of him.

But the truth was, we had wanted to have him over for dinner but had had to settle for “just dessert” instead, because we didn’t have enough money to buy the meat. All we had were hot dogs — silver, crystal, and hot dogs.

But we were happy, and a far better income was almost visible as we stepped closer to 1971. We could make it till then.

“In all toil there is profit.” (Proverbs 14:23)