Newlywed Love (#47)

March 25, 1970

About this time, it seemed like the whole world was getting away during spring break, traveling to exotic places like Florida, Arizona, or California. Nate and I had both enjoyed traveling during our undergrad years, but these days as we struggled to support ourselves, taking a trip was out of the question. We were lucky to get through a week without a hot-dogs-and-beans supper.

ThinkingOne chilly spring evening we lit a fire and sat in front of it dreaming aloud about what might be the perfect vacation. Nate mentioned the Virgin Islands, knowing how much I loved beaches. Our conversational fantasies drifted to different areas of the country including Hawaii, then across the ocean to Europe and of course Russia, since Nate had learned to speak Russian in college.

 

He said, “If you could visit any country in the world, which would it be?”

That was easy. “Italy,” I said, “because of all the glass factories in and around Venice!” He laughed and talked about his dream to travel all over Europe so he could see first hand where the history in his text books had taken place. But finally we had to set aside our verbal travelogue and face the facts: During spring break of 1970, we were going nowhere.

If we had to stay in Champaign, though, we decided to be deliberate about having a good time. Friends came over to share meals, or sometimes just dessert and coffee. One evening several of us wrote a primitive script and made a movie complete with subtitles. (Super 8 cameras had no sound.)

Sponge candy.Another night we made “sponge candy” with our friends Cathy and John, and Nate liked it so much he made a second batch all by himself.

We went out to eat with friends and saw a movie. And as our downstairs neighbors Fred and Alice arrived back from a winter in Florida, we took brownies to their apartment to welcome them home.

 

At AllertonThough the weather was cool, we drove to the Allerton mansion, packing a picnic, a thermos of hot coffee, and reading material. It was heavenly whiling away the afternoon on a blanket where both of us slept for 2 hours — unmindful of other visitors walking past.

Toward the end of the week, a surprise snowfall invited us outdoors to have a mini-snowball fight, after which we warmed ourselves with Russian spiced tea by the fireplace.

Last snowballsAnd of course we frolicked around the apartment “in a carefree manner,” enjoying our free time and each other.

As vacation week ended, we agreed it had been delightful, as good a spring break as any. And the grand finale’ was a one-day turn-around drive to Wilmette and back to share Easter Sunday with Mom, Dad, Mary, Bervin, the aunties, and brother Tom.

“The Lord…. restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3)

Newlywed Love (#46)

March 22, 1970

News of Mary’s pregnancy spread fast, and Mom was beside herself with glee. She wrote in her diary…

Mom's joyGuess what ——- WE’RE TO BE GRANDPARENTS!!!! Praise the Lord! WONDERFUL NEWS! Mary told us as she ironed in her bedroom. Happy! Happy!

In a letter to Nate and me she wrote…

Isn’t this delightful news? Isn’t God good?

Mom's letter

Grandparents soonSome might say, “Who wants to bring a child into today’s tangled world?” But the world is an exciting, challenging place. It’s great to be alive and involved. “A little child shall lead them.” Perhaps Bervin and Mary’s little child. “All things are possible to those who believe.” I may not have quoted that accurately, but the truth of that saying is in Holy Writ. *

Then she challenged Nate and I to lead for Christ, too, and wrote…

But we don’t have to wait for that child. You kids have the same potential, plus youth and “every good thing.” So get on with the job. With Christ – everything! Without Christ – everything the world can offer, but terminally.

Mom was waxing eloquent, and I could tell her heart was soaring. For her, children were the best thing earthly life had to offer.

After all of Mom’s rejoicing over this good news about a new little relative on the way, Nate and I decided to talk about children, squaring off with the question of whether or not we would want to have any, and if so, when.

We didn’t get very far, though. With the rest of law school, the bar exam, and military service stretching out ahead of us (as well as unnumbered decisions), the only thing to conclude was that having children any time soon wouldn’t be good.

M and N.That was fine with us. We were content just to be a couple and weren’t ready for anything or anyone to rearrange that. Becoming an aunt and uncle would offer the chance to play with a baby regularly and delight in the phenomenon of children without the responsibility.

And it was interesting to see that Mom’s happiness over her coming grandchild spilled over onto her other new relative, too. She concluded her letter with this…

Just think! We have a new son-in-law in [the family] too — Nathan. He has kindled himself warmly into our hearts. We love you, Nate!

It was all good news. And while we waited for the new baby to start the next generation in our extended family, Nate and I decided we’d better do our best to accept Mom’s challenge, to “live up to our potential with our youth and (as she put it) every good thing.”

* Jesus said…. “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23)

Newlywed Love (#45)

March 21, 1970

BlondieBetween Nate and I, he was the one with the beautiful hair. He didn’t think much about it, but I loved his heavy blonde tresses and encouraged him to grow more of it.

By 1970, most young men had said goodbye to their crew cuts and flat tops, which were considered “very 1950’s.” The Beatles, with their mops of hair, had hit the States in 1964, causing gasps of disapproval from every parent in the country.

More hairBut now, 6 years later, longer hair on men had become fashionable. Nate decided to let his hair grow over his collar and also to grow a mustache. I was thrilled about all of it.

Jumping on the band wagon, I decided to let my hair grow, too, though it was fine and thin and would never look as good as Nate’s. It grew slower, too, and my current not-short-but-not-long hairdo was, I thought, ugly.

 

 

Shiny wigI’d been wearing an artificial hair wig that had so much shine to it everyone knew it was fake. But as the weather warmed, it felt like a winter cap – hot and uncomfortable.

One day while Nate and I wandered through the local mall on our way to buy coffees, I spotted a human-hair “fall” in one of the stores. It was sandy blonde and was attached to a headband. Getting ready for work in the morning would be so easy with that! All I’d have to do would be comb my real hair back, hiding its choppy look, and slip on the headband.

Unfortunately the fall had an exorbitant price: $27  [$184 equivalent], much too pricey for our lean budget.

The fallAs always, though, Nate was watching me closely and listening to what I said. Within the week he had donated a pint of blood, presenting me with the money and insisting I use it to buy the fall. I was thrilled and jumped all over him in a show of appreciation.

The first day I wore the fall to school, my students scrunched up their noses and expressed loud disapproval. “It’s not your real hair!” they insisted. “It looks dopey!” But just like they’d gotten used to my new name, after a few days they adjusted to the new hair.

No doubt the general public knew it was an add-on, but I fooled myself into thinking it looked natural. And lightening my own hair to match the fall made me feel like a brand new woman.

Once I set aside the wig, Nate admitted he hadn’t really liked it all that much, though he quickly added that even if I was completely bald, I would still be the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen (….quite the exaggeration, in my opinion.)

As I worked with the fall and learned to care for it, I wondered if he disliked that, too. Any considerate wife would have asked him outright, before she opened the original packaging. That way she could return it, if her husband wasn’t all that fond of it. But I hadn’t checked with him – because I wanted to keep it.

And I wondered, what did that say about me?

“Love does not insist on its own way.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)