Sneak Peek #25

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

How well I recall the morning I got an “F” in mothering. Still in my pajamas, I had gathered my Bible, notebook, pen, and mug of coffee. Tiptoeing past the stairs toward the living room, eager to eat a spiritual breakfast, I glanced up to see our toddler sitting on the top step . . . already! When he saw me come around the corner, his face lit up, and he greeted me in his usual cheery fashion. “Mama!”

In a split second my face fell, going from neutral to angry, exactly as our eyes met. Thinking only of myself, I let out a low moan. This child had robbed me of something valuable. My treasure had been blown out of the room by the cold wind of an interruption I was having trouble accepting. And there the two of us froze, a chasm of disconnect between us.

“Why are you out of bed so early?” I said with irritation, knowing this was a question no toddler could answer. Still caught up with my own agenda, it took a minute for my displeasure to calm. I turned toward the kitchen to put away my Bible, notebook, and pen, while my little guy bounced down the steps on his bottom, eager to put his arms around me.

Thankfully God convicted me quickly, and we made up in a hurry. I tried to backpedal my poor performance, but I felt bad then and still do today, more than forty years later. But motherhood doesn’t come with do-overs. I squandered the chance to plant a good seed and planted a weed instead.


SIDEBAR: WEED WISDOM

  • Weeds are a fact of life.
  • Pull weeds while they’re still small.
  • Weeds are stronger than tender plants.
  • Don’t mistake weeds for good plants.
  • Unpulled weeds will destroy a garden.

Sneak Peek #24

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) learned about eating issues with one-year-old Marta. As a baby, then a toddler, she was a picky eater to the max. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her, because she refused to eat 90 percent of whatever I cooked. Though I tried every trick in the book to make food appealing to her, she just wouldn’t eat. Gut instinct told me it would be wrong to discipline her for lack of an appetite, especially since she was a sweet, compliant child in every other respect. But I didn’t know what to do.

Every Saturday morning I made Swedish pancakes for our family, and little Marta was willing to eat one of those. So I decided to make it my mission to produce Swedish pancakes every day of the week, just for her—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because she needed calories, I substituted cream for the milk and went heavy on the eggs. It didn’t bother me that she wanted to dip her pancakes into a puddle of syrup. Anything to get her to eat.

She ate pancakes every day during those many months, and eventually she began tasting other things too. Had I punished her for refusing to eat, I don’t believe it would have helped in any way. It certainly would have made her dread family mealtimes and probably would have damaged our relationship. Today Marta is a healthy twenty-six-year-old with a normal appetite. And though she eats virtually all foods, she has a special fondness for Swedish pancakes.


SIDEBAR:

HOW NOT TO HAVE WHINE WITH EVERY MEAL


  • Set attainable goals for meals.
  • Serve foods your child likes.
  • Dish up child-size portions.
  • Keep mealtimes short and sweet.
  • Encourage new foods without forcing.
  • Praise a willingness to try new foods.
  • Expect childlike behavior from your child.
  • Never allow a whiner to ruin mealtime.

Sneak Peek #22

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) could tell almost from the womb that my children would be radically different from each other. Julia, my second-born, had a strong leaning toward nurturing. She gravitated toward babies while she was still a baby herself, and her first word was “be-be.” She consistently wanted to interact with babies and touch them.

On her second birthday we gave her a life-sized baby doll, and she carefully mothered her “Connie” alongside me as I mothered the baby brother who joined our family when Julia was twenty-one months. When she outgrew playing with dolls, she put her Connie on a bedroom shelf where she remained. Julia went on to babysit for all five of her younger siblings, and I counted on her to help me care for them through her own childhood years. Eventually Julia’s own daughters played with Connie, who had been carefully preserved during the twenty year interim.

Julia’s first official job during her teen years was as a summertime nanny for a pediatrician. Her nurturing ability took her through nursing school and later into full-time motherhood, foster parenting, and adoption. And it was all evident from her babyhood.

Knowing ahead of time that God wires our children in specific ways encourages us to look for what those qualities are.


SIDEBAR: MOTHERS IN THE BIBLE

  • Obedient Mary
  • Trusting Elizabeth
  • Doubtful Sarah
  • Believing Hannah
  • Deceptive Rebekah
  • Wise Lois
  • Loyal Ruth
  • Sinful Eve
  • Cunning Jezebel