Category Archives: Remembering

Sneak Peek #17

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) used to volunteer for the local Meals on Wheels organization, packing and taking healthy meals to shut-ins. Though I’d wanted to do this from the time my children were little, I decided it would be too much to bring them along. Instead I waited till they were all in school. I could deliver the meals quicker that way and move on to the many other things I wanted to do.

Then one day, after collecting the packaged meals I was to deliver and shoving the overloaded bin into my car, I watched as another mom joined our crew of delivery ladies. She’d brought her two-and-four-year-olds along and was moving at their much slower pace. She handed one meal at a time to her little ones. “Carry this to Mommy’s car now. Be careful, because there’s a hungry lady waiting for us to bring it to her.”

The example of this woman patiently letting her children help with this worthwhile project impacted me, and I stopped to watch. It occurred to me I’d missed a golden opportunity to teach my children some great lessons by waiting to volunteer till they were all in school. Meals on Wheels would have been the perfect way to teach an important character trait: helping those who couldn’t help in return. And since most of the meal recipients were elderly, they would have been blessed to see the children. But I’d chosen to put efficiency above values, forfeiting that opportunity.

When you and your young children do things together, God counts this as “redeemed time.” Including the youngsters He’s given you elevates the activity to a level of His special blessing since you are joining with Him in acknowledging their importance. Children are little for only a short time, and those first five years fly by. So work to be deliberate about beating the clock, making that time count.

SIDEBAR:  A PEEK INTO YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S HEART

  • My universe revolves around me.
  • My world is often confusing.
  • I can’t trust everyone.
  • Sometimes I’m afraid.
  • A night-light is comforting.
  • My world is new and interesting.
  • I like to go along.
  • I learn fast.
  • I can’t verbalize how I feel.
  • I adore my mother.
  • I want to do what Mommy does.

Sneak Peek #16

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Most young children are reluctant to end the day when it’s time to head for bed. Not only does it initiate isolation from other family members, it signifies putting toys away and ending playtime. That’s why children work to keep mommy in the room as long as possible. Unbeknownst to them, however, this strategy on their part becomes a powerful perk for mothers who want to take advantage of this tender time.

Your youngsters become especially warm to what you do during these moments, hanging on your every word. It becomes an optimal time to memorize a short line of Scripture or sing a song. I (Margaret) sang bedtime choruses to Nelson, our firstborn, starting when he was about a year old. As he learned to talk, he picked up the words, and by the time he was three, he had memorized (and could sing) fifty-five Sunday school songs.

These short choruses were full of God’s truth, simplified for children, and as the two of us continued singing, Nelson often asked questions about the words, attentive to my answers. Be sure to include a prayer of blessing over your child before you leave the room. God is there listening to you and loves to answer a mother’s heartfelt prayers.

These bedtime suggestions might sound elaborate and time consuming, but the whole thing can be done in just a few minutes. Think of it as the most valuable part of your routine, even more important than having a bath or brushing teeth.

As you step out of the room, along with your “night-night, honey,” conclude this time with something uplifting. “I love you very much, darling,” or “See you in the morning!” Staying positive is better than, “I hope you’ll do better tomorrow.” Try to express unconditional love . . . one more time.

SIDEBAR:  POTENTIAL FOR EVERY DAY

  • Hug your child.
  • Say I love you.
  • Praise your child.
  • Compliment your child for any job done.
  • Kiss your child.
  • Tell him you’re glad he’s yours.

Sneak Peek #13

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Disciplining children can be the most difficult part of parenting, and parents don’t automatically know how best to handle infractions without overdoing or underdoing. It’s tricky to hit it just right, since each child is different and each “crime scene” is unique.

That doesn’t let mothers off the hook, though. The Bible is replete with examples of what happens when children are left to discipline themselves before they’re old enough to know how. And Scripture gives plenty of info on how to do it right. The old idea, “Spare the rod and spoil the child” actually originates with God (Proverbs 22:15). But even after we’ve nodded in agreement, we often find ourselves in blurry situations.

Both of us have learned through our mistakes that the best way to discipline is to let natural consequences do it for you. I (Mary) remember my first experience with this and how well it worked. Julia was barely two years old, playing in the bathtub one day, when she repeatedly grabbed a bar of pink soap from the built-in soap dish. She badly wanted to take a bite, and I knew she needed to learn soap wasn’t for eating.

“No-no,” I said again and again, taking the soap from her and putting it back. “Yucky. We don’t eat soap.”

With typical toddler persistence, she continued to reach for it, and I knew I’d have to press my point. Either I’d have to remove the soap, despite my wanting it to stay there, or I’d have to slap her hand, which I was reluctant to do. Without one of the two, our soap battle would continue indefinitely—that is, until I realized I had one more option. I could let her eat the soap.

Leaning back, I watched her grab it, take a bite, make a face, and put it back. She never reached for it again. Done.

SIDEBAR:  WHEN YOUR CHILD PUSHES YOUR HOT BUTTON

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Refuse the urge to react.
  • Pray quickly.
  • Keep a calm demeanor.
  • Isolate your child.
  • Leave the room if you must.
  • Use natural consequences if you can.