Category Archives: Remembering

Young Love (#45)

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My mother threw us a curve ball when she told me she didn’t think we should marry in November after all. Nate and I had been progressing as if it was firm, but apparently she’d only been thinking “maybe.” Dad, as the middle man, tried to reason with both of us, but Mom kept bringing up “the way Mary and Bervin did it,” citing their long engagement as the better way.

Part of the problem was that Mom and Dad were about to make a big move, downsizing from their big house in east Wilmette to a small ranch in west Wilmette. Mom didn’t want to move, but Dad, ever practical, insisted it was time. They would move in July, and Mom thought it unwise to be packing, downsizing, redecorating the new house, and planning a wedding all in the same summer. She was right, of course, but two love-struck 20-somethings couldn’t see anything but each other.

marshall-fieldsJune 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m still upset over Mom’s negative attitude about a November wedding. But I have a strategy. I’ll offer to come and help with packing and getting rid of stuff. And in July, when I’m downtown looking for silver and china for the Marshall Field’s wedding registry, I’ll walk to Dad’s office and take him out to lunch. We’ll have a good conversation, and then he can convince Mom. I love him very much and am only beginning to appreciate him.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. There is some logic behind our choosing November, too. It will save double rent for a greater part of the school year as I continue in law school and you teach in Champaign. A November wedding also won’t conflict with law finals as a January wedding would, and the Thanksgiving holiday makes it easier for relatives and friends to be there. What sayest thou on all this, my love?

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. I say a November wedding, no matter what. I do realize our 4 parents have done a lot for us. They’ve put up with a lot, too. At least mine have. But once we’re married, we’ll invite both sets of them down to Champaign to show our appreciation. We will honor them as special guests.

June 28, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Remember, we have two sets of good parents, and we’ll love all 4 of them and eventually will convince them of our love, respect, and devotion for each other. I have the highest respect and love for your mother and father, and for mine. I know it’ll all work out in the end. I wish I could be there with you to help convince them. But this old Army = a deferment = law school = responsibility and ambition. We’ll talk deeply into this when you come.

June 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. Did I tell you I went to court on the Corvette? The two thieves got a month’s continuance on their case, although I won’t have to reappear. But both of them are out on bond, and I’m really upset that they might return to my street to do havoc on my car… or maybe on me! I’ll be glad when they get convicted and locked up! Gee, I’m scared. It was hard to look at them. The two policemen told me not to worry, but how do they know? One of the guys was charged with battery before, and drugs.

June 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It was wonderful to talk with you on the phone last night. You musn’t worry about those two guys. They wouldn’t dare repeat their crime.

loving-comfort

You can be absolutely sure of my complete attention, understanding, and love. I know you realize this now. Nothing could ever convince me I don’t love you, and my love and patience will always be there… to comfort you. I love you, Meg.

“The Spirit helps us in our weakness.” (Romans 8:26)

Young Love (#44)

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As Nate thought about how he was going to propose, I was finishing up the school year in Chicago, mourning the loss of my sweet students. Trying not to think about never seeing them again, I focused more on my planned move to Champaign before the next school year began.

the-folksNate and I were writing to each other multiple times each day, sharing wedding ideas and making plans, and I barely noticed that I hadn’t clued in my parents on most of it — never considering how they might want to do things.

June 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. Today another teacher and I took our 40 kindergarteners to a nearby fire station (on foot) and had a blast. The kids got to see a fireman slide down the pole, blow the sirens, and pull out the hook ‘n ladder truck. It was very successful and seemed to energize the kids, but we were both exhausted when we got back to school.

June 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg, future wife. I’m writing at 2:00 AM after cleaning my field gear (tent, shovel, pack) and cleaning the latrine. Oh, this Army… At least they’ve let me keep my hair long. I know you like it that way. I’ve been thinking what a great Guide Jesus Christ is. He’s the only one with infallible advice for Meg and me.

June 27, 1969 – Dear Wonderful Nate. Your favorite kindergartener, little JoAnn, found an old jelly bean in the doll dishes today when we were doing a final clean-up of the classroom. She got so excited! It was filthy, but I didn’t have the heart to take it away from her — she ate it. I reminded the children about your visit and that you were the one who had hidden all the jelly beans. They all remembered you, which made me very happy. By the way, I wrote again to both school boards down state, Champaign and Urbana. No responses yet, but I’m not discouraged.

June 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I got a letter from my mother today. She said she got a look at your ring before my father mailed it, and she thinks you will be very pleased. She also wrote this: “I want to write Margaret and tell her how happy we are to have her in the family, and I also want to write her mother to show our approval of your engagement.” This all makes me really glad.

novemberJune 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. A little bad news here. I went to my folks’ place for dinner yesterday to talk about wedding stuff, since Mom is beginning to make waves about a November wedding. Our discussion didn’t go well. Mom thinks it would be better for me to stay in Chicago until you graduate from law school, teaching one more year here. She wants us to get married next summer. I tried my best not to get really angry at that bizarre suggestion. Apparently I hadn’t told them I was already looking for a job in Champaign and was planning to move there this August, two months from now. It doesn’t help that my brother will also be making a move that same month, from Wheaton College to American University in Washington DC. He’s very excited about leaving, as am I, and I think Mom is feeling “blue” because her kids will all be gone. It was a touchy conversation, but she isn’t on board at all. I’m not sure where to go from here. I wonder what she’ll say when I appear with a ring?

“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

Young Love (#42)

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Just as Nate and I were moving happily toward engagement, my old boyfriend called again.

Memories of him had been fading, because my thought-life was filled with Nate and our bright future together. The boyfriend’s phone call threw me for a loop, but after we hung up, I gave it some rational thought and saw a pattern. Though we didn’t have a lot of contact, he did call every few weeks, which always pulled me back into the relationship.

He didn’t want to come between Nate and I but did want a friendship to continue. The problem, however, was at my end. Such a friendship would come at a high price for Nate and thus for me, too, and my greatest longing was for a marriage that would thrive in every way.

line-in-the-sandSo, for once I used common sense. Surely God was answering Nate’s daily prayer request for guidance. And I knew it was time to draw a line in the sand.

Rather than get together socially as he called to do, I drove to his house to tell him face-to-face that Nate and I were about to get engaged. There would be no room for another guy-girl relationship in my life, and so he and I needed to terminate all contact. He didn’t think it had to be that way but said he would honor my request.

It was a difficult task, but it got done.

June 24, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It was a taste of dolce vita the last time we were together. A walk late on a June evening with you is everything. Meg, I love you. Kisses enclosed. P.S. Quit giggling, my little brown bear.

encouraging-lettersJune 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your letters are so wonderful and encouraging to my missing you. You are such a stable, well-organized person (even in your thought-life), and oh how I need help in those things! You and I will help each other in many ways. But more than anything, I need you as my partner. I love you dearly, and I’m confident that as the months pass when we are together, we will love more, love deeper, and love in a way that cannot be replaced by anything else, ever. I will always need you and always want you in every way. I love you!

June 25, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Your engagement ring should arrive at your apartment in a few days. Don’t open it! It’s hard being away from you, but I do want to sacrifice to defend the United States of America so that Meg can be safe and so we can live together in liberty. I love you with every fiber of my being. The ultimate in my life is marrying you.

June 25, 1969 – Dear DEAR Nate. I miss our talking times and especially our prayer times… more than I ever dreamed I would.

fireworksJune 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Tomorrow I have KP – up at 3:45 AM and work to 10:00 PM. But that means 4,5,6 July will be completely free. I’ll drive into Topeka on the morning of the 4th and leave the evening of the 6th. Thanks for all the wedding planning lists. You’re a big help now and will help me in the future as a lawyer and lieutenant!

June 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. Guess what! I got my Corvette back!!! It’s an absolutely WILD tale of how the Chicago police found it and how they caught the 2 idiots who stole it. I’ll tell you all about it!

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Oh that my actions would consistently reflect [his] decrees!” (Psalm 119:1,5)