Category Archives: Remembering

Young Love (#23)

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As the days passed, I wrestled with my feelings, frustrated that I couldn’t fully commit to Nate. One of the problems was that I viewed love as having two levels: (1) loving someone just for the joy of it, and (2) loving someone enough to marry him… for better or for worse, and for keeps.

I knew I loved Nate (1), but marriage? That number (2) was a doozy of a decision. A week of days together was coming, though, and I hoped it would shake me loose from my emotional log-jam. I would have to work, but we’d be together parts of every day.

hmmmMar. 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. My team teacher says I should choose a mate based half on logic and half on love. She really likes you and says you are A+ in both. Actually, she told me she wished she was 20 years younger about now (wink).

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you very much. This spring vacation will be great. Your parents and mine will get to know us and begin to think of us together as a couple. There is a great deal I want to show you in my home town, come the weekend. We’ll get to take long walks near your house and mine, and most important, spend time in prayer and worship. Easter sunrise service!

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. My folks are glad about our arrangements to stay in Wilmette with them for part of your vacation week. Being together for 6-7 days straight will be a helpful thing in determining the direction of our relationship. My roommate has a boyfriend she loves, but it’s frustrating for her to wait and wonder when he’ll next call or ask her out. It makes me thankful that there’s no guessing with you. You are sure. You are unlike any other guy I’ve ever known… in so many ways.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I think of you constantly. When I think of the future, I realize that your personal decision, our parents’ feelings, and both of us being absolutely certain about marriage still present themselves. But you have plenty of time. I love you, and love waits. Whoever wins your heart will be fortunate and will have to work hard to merit you. My only doubt about our relationship is whether I am good enough for you.

letters-galoreMar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I got four letters today! Wow! I love you! Fantastic woman! Before studying for my ROTC test I had to write to thank you and comment on your essential goodness which deserves a life of kissing and hugging and admiration.

 

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you come, I sure would love to see the movie “2001” before it’s gone. We could have a good discussion afterwards, since there are some poignant moral questions posed in the show, or so I hear. But we won’t have to spend too much money during the week if we don’t want to. There are lots of inexpensive things we can enjoy. I love you, Nate.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. Tonight I tried on several dresses that I can possibly wear to the military ball on April 12. My roommate let me borrow one, and I have 6 bridesmaids gowns. I should probably wear one of those, since they’ve only been worn once each. But it’s tempting to get something new.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for two new letters, warm and sparkling with Meg. I am hoping this coming week will be decisive for you. Of course you know I’ve already decided on you. But don’t feel you must rush a decision this week. You have all the time in the world. I can be patiently happy to wait for you. Last night it took me 2 hours of thinking about you before I could fall asleep, and I awoke thinking of you. I love you! And now lover-boy has to go put his towels and socks into the dryer.

“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Young Love (#22)

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After I signed off with my church guy-friend, a sense of sadness set in. I looked back fondly over 7 years of dating and felt a sharp sense of loss. Now that I was closing in on an all-out commitment to Nate, I knew that playing the dating game would have to be a thing of the past. And I wasn’t at all sure I wanted it to end.

In quiet moments I began reminiscing about the fun I’d had with dozens of wonderful guys over the years, enjoying the pursuit and the catch as much as the dates themselves. Although I believed I was gradually falling in love with Nate, the idea of marriage sounded too serious too soon. My letters to him did continue to be affirming, but it was almost like I was preaching to myself: “Grow up, Margaret! Saying yes to one wonderful person means saying no to many others. It’ll be OK.”

chocolate-bunnyMar. 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. You are so patient, considerate, and kind to me. I’m glad I’m getting to know the “real you” more and more. This past weekend was beautiful. Time spent with you is always well-planned. Thank you for the things we did, for the meal with your parents, and for the Fannie May chocolate bunny! My 3 roommates and I just finished him off.

Mar. 23, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The weekend was great! My parents really loved you. “A very sweet and pretty girl,” they said. They think we’re “a nice-looking couple” and are eager for your visit to their house during spring break. Thank you for staying over Saturday night. Without that we would have had no privacy for prayer and other activity. You’re so sweet when you’re tired and sleepy. I’ll call you about our spring break plans, probably at the usual erratic hour. My apologies to you and your roomies, whoever I may awaken.

george-sweetingMar. 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Pastor Sweeting was excellent this week. He said we can’t be successful in life without following the steps God has in mind for us. Either extreme — being fearful or having too much self-confidence —  can make us stray from His way. You and I need to be careful in making any plans, not to fool ourselves. We want to be successful in our relationship, and I hope everything will work out well.

Mar. 24, 1969 – Dearest Meg. It’s gray and rainy here, which makes excellent dreaming weather. I sit in class, Evidence in Constitutional Law, but the subject is: Johnson, Meg. She occupies my thoughts while I’m awake and my dreams as I sleep. Meg, I love you.

Mar. 24, 1969 – Dear Nate. Two letters from you today, both good ones. I appreciate it when you pen your thoughts as they flow naturally out of you, whether deep or casual. Thank you for your honesty. I’m trying to be honest in return. I’m looking forward to the end of this evening ed course I’m taking, but have made lots of friends in this class. We’ve bonded by thinking the whole course is rinky-dink, a waste of 3 hours two evenings a week. We’re all there only to fulfill requirements for the state.

Mar. 25, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Talking to you on the phone yesterday was a fabulous treat! It made the whole day go better. I get more studying done after I’ve “spent time with” you. I’m eagerly looking forward to our week together, both at your folks’ home and mine. All the logistics will come together fine. Don’t worry.

“Love is kind,” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Young Love (#21)

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relaxedAlthough my old boyfriend was still popping up here and there, Nate chose to believe that “his Meg” had drawn a line in the sand and wouldn’t cross it. My words said so, and he embraced it with all his heart. Though I wasn’t ready to say yes to an engagement and the marriage that would follow, he was convinced it would happen… eventually.

As for my church friend and our continued dates, my journal told the tale:

Although he and I always have great times when we’re together, it probably isn’t fair to keep the relationship going. He’s drawn to me, but feeling a little uneasy about it. I’m drawn to him but feel a little guilty about it. Nate knows about him, but he doesn’t know about Nate. None of that seems right.

I decided to let the relationship slowly dwindle by being unavailable, though I knew that might be painful for both of us. But as I began that process, God took care of the rest. My friend decided on his own that we ought to take a break. On our last date as we talked about this, I felt a twinge of sadness – but I knew it was the right thing to do. It also meant turning full-face toward Nate, no holds barred.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your wonderful letters to me have all meant so much. You are faithful in writing, and I love each one. For example, last night I came in very late for a weeknight (2:00 AM) with my arms loaded with junk, very tired, dirty, and longing for sleep. And the first thing that greeted me was 2 ivory-colored letters from Champaign. I threw all my bundles down and ripped open the letters, reading them both twice and wishing I could call you. You made me feel so loved at that moment. What woman wouldn’t like that? I always feel good after reading what you write to me.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dear Meg. My prayer list, which has many items, includes a prayer thanking the Lord that I fell in love with a Christian woman. You have a very healthy outlook on life, and I find myself really needing you. I love you.

cool-carMar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m very much looking forward to meeting your folks this Saturday. But oh boy, am I nervous. I’m even breaking out in pimples. But hopefully it’ll be a lot of fun, too. And some negative news: I put a big dent in the bumper of my fabulous Corvette while doing a swift parallel parking job this morning. Drat.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. Your phone call at midnight last night was the highlight of my day! I was so exhausted that I had come in at about 8:00 PM and plunked down on my bed for a quick nap. The list of what I needed to do in the evening was long, but I actually woke up with your call! After we said goodbye, I went right back to sleep and slept through. Ahhh. This morning I feel fantastic… with enough energy for lots of extra kisses, if you were a little closer than Champaign! See you at 10:00 AM Saturday with an expectant, enthusiastic smile. I’m looking forward to meeting your folks, but not half as much as I’m looking forward to seeing you.   Love to you, Meg

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Meg. I cannot wait until the morning. There is a special feeling within me when I know I will see you in a few hours: a kind of happy anxiety. I love you very much. If you accept me by fall, an engagement then until the following summer will allow us to be absolutely certain.

Mar. 21, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ll probably see you before you get this, but it’ll be nice to get a letter after I’m gone. I always love to come home to a letter from you. It makes it easier to accept the departure when I know your greeting is waiting. My parents are looking forward to spending time with you 2 weeks from now. We’ll have lots of fun when you come. You can take my newly-tuned Corvette for a fast spin. I won’t be taking too many fast spins for a while, at least not till I get back down to 1 traffic ticket again.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)