Newlywed Love (#41)

March 14, 1970

Nate and I loved having company from “home,” especially when it was our closest friends. My long-term pal Lynn (we’d met as pre-teens) had begun dating a guy she’d met in Chicago some months before. Lynn and I had been together when she and Don had first connected, and “sparking” happened immediately.

Don was a career Army officer and had already been to Vietnam and back. He was a captain in charge of many other men and knew how to fly helicopters. All of this impressed Lynn and I, and Don seemed very brave. Though he was soft-spoken and humble, we’d both been in awe that night.

LynnIt wasn’t too many months before Lynn was moving to Georgia where Don was based. Thankfully, Champaign was on their route south, so they stopped at our apartment for 24 hours. Lynn and I were elated to be together again, and our men had no lack of things to talk about, having the Army in common.

That evening after dinner, we pulled out the movie projector we’d received as a wedding gift, and Nate, never having operated a projector before, left it up to me.

After several false starts, it began working, and we showed the first movie – a small reel of 50 feet – on a blank white wall.

Lynn with the reelOur Super 8 camera had been going steadily since our wedding, recording movies of everyone who came and went (along with lots of footage of ourselves). Unfortunately in trying to show the films, we often met with jam-ups and other discouraging failures.

This night, however, the first reel flowed nicely, and we howled at the people dancing around on our dining room wall. The biggest laugh, however, came when we turned the lights back on.

Movies gone badThat’s when we learned the reason for such free-flowing film. All 50 feet were in a tangled heap on the floor beneath the table.

When bedtime came, Nate suggested Lynn be on the Murphy bed and Don on the living room couch. What they did after lights out would be up to them.

Both of us were growing to love Don, and once we were settled into bed ourselves, Nate and I talked about the possibility of a marriage in their future.

Movie cameraThe next morning after breakfast it was time to say goodbye. Nate got the movie camera clicking, and we hoped they’d be back to see the developed film sooner rather than later.

But after they pulled away I slipped my hand into Nate’s and said, “I have a funny feeling Lynn will never be back.” Knowing I was having a sad thought, he put his arm around me and squeezed tight.

As we stood looking down the road where Lynn and Don had disappeared, I thought about the many rapid changes coming to us and to many of our friends. Watching Lynn leave was unsettling. But I knew my dear friend was on the same romantic high I’d been on in 1969 just before Nate and I got engaged. Because of that, she wasn’t sad at all.

So…. how could I be anything but happy for her?

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.” (Numbers 6:24-25)

Newlywed Love (#32)

February 13-14, 1970

Since the first of the year, I had been chipping away at writing thank you notes for the hundreds of wedding gifts Nate and I had been blessed to receive. Although my original goal was to write 5 of them each evening (with more on weekends), I couldn’t keep up that pace. And though I had long since ditched that goal, little by little I was actually making progress.

Valentines DayThe week before Valentine’s Day, I was highly motivated to be extra diligent in my note-writing…. because Mom and Dad were coming.

I knew Mom would ask how many thank you’s I’d written so far. Most of our gifts had come from friends in her generation, and timely thank you’s were a must. People needed to know their gift had been received and that it was appreciated.

Earlier in the week a letter had come from her, detailing their weekend arrival and departure schedule. She had also written a few encouraging lines about my thank you notes:

“Many, many people tell me they are receiving “unusual” letters of thanks from you, Margaret. You’d be amazed at what the difference is when a bit of extra is put into such notes. You would be greatly surprised at how many people have mentioned your letters to me.”

Mom's letter

I had to admit I was giving the process my all, more for Mom than the recipients of the notes. Not wanting to disappoint her, I had taken up her challenge to put something personal into each one. And it did make me feel better than if I’d written generically – though it took a great deal longer.

Nate was my faithful cheerleader and sometimes stood next to me, asking to read a note aloud. His laudatory comments and nonstop appreciation spurred me on. And he was especially tickled if he read a note thanking for any gift made of “monkey pod wood” — something new and popular at the time for salad bowls and their utensils.

If he came across those 3 words, “monkey pod wood,” inevitably he would double over with laughter so intense he’d have to brush tears away. Then his laughter would make me laugh, and the silly joke was so potent I didn’t dare use our monkey pod salad bowls if guests were over. It became one of those inside jokes between a husband and wife that no one else understood, a little secret between just the two of us.

First time fondueWhen Mom and Dad came, they brought Aunt Agnes, and we introduced the three of them to the art of fondue. It was hilarious watching their expressions as we explained how dinner was going to be made.

And as they got into the process, their focus on cooking was intense. We all laughed each time a chunk of food would slip from their forks and disappear into the oil. When that happened, their comments were side-splitting funny. Aunt Agnes spent most of the meal on her feet, standing guard over the pieces of her dinner.

Ice CapadesThe next day we took them to the university arena where we saw the Ice Capades, a new show none of us had ever seen. Although Mom thought the girls’ costumes left too much flesh exposed, she had to admit the skating was phenomenal.

After that mid-afternoon performance, they had to hightail it back to Wilmette for evening commitments there, and Nate and I chalked up another happy connection with our relatives.

Although we forfeited our privacy whenever people visited, we had a lifetime to enjoy each other and knew we shouldn’t be selfish about sharing our lives and our home. Besides, it was always so much fun after guests were gone to once again be alone — together.

“Don’t forget to do good and to share…. These are the sacrifices that please God.” (Hebrews 13:16)

Newlywed Love (#17)

January 2, 1970

Nate's familyNate’s parents had said goodbye to half of their children when Nate officially left home to marry me. I hadn’t given that much thought, since the Nymans had so readily embraced me, but it’s possible that was a difficult moment for their nuclear family. My family had already let Mary go, so when it was my turn, the transition was easier.

In the early days of January, a letter arrived from Aunt Joyce – who advised me wisely on that exact matter just as it was occurring to me. Surely that was God’s timing, since I hadn’t asked for her counsel on it.

She wrote:

I’m sure Nate’s folks must have a sort of “gone feeling” when the son takes unto himself a wife. Knowing you, I’m sure you will make it up to them 100-fold.

Aunt Joyce's letter.

I determined to write to my new mother-in-law often and include her in our plans whenever possible.

Aunt Joyce also wrote:

By the way, Nate gets a 100% vote of approval! We can hardly wait to know him better! We’re so happy for you.

She went on to say how much she enjoyed “every minute” of our wedding and then paid me a nice compliment. You behaved like a million dollars in some very tight situations. (She must have been referencing those pesky table skirt debates.)

Every line of her letter was filled with wisdom. She even hinted there might be times of friction in our future when she wrote:

Count on my prayers for you both as you enter this new and exciting chapter of your lives. I’m sure you will find more growth and meaning in your Lord and in your marriage as you find yourself insufficient, than in the times when you are on top, as it were.

Aunt Joyce's letter

Of course at that time, one month married, neither Nate nor I could figure out what she meant by insufficient, but we were glad she was praying for us and happy to know we’d be “on top” some of the time.

She ended her letter by saying:

Aunt Joyce and Uncle EdwardI’m so proud to be related to you! And we love you both. When are you coming to California?

We were thankful for Aunt Joyce for lots of reasons, and she gave us one more at our wedding. She and Uncle Edward bought us a color TV! Even Mom and Dad didn’t have one of those.

“Eat honey, for it is good, and the honeycomb is sweet to the taste. In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future.” (Proverbs 24:13-14)