Young Love (#75)

July 31, 1969

Kids galore.Mom was having trouble saying goodbye to the home where she’d raised her children and had so much fun doing it. The morning after the move, she drove back to 708, let herself in, and waited for the new owners to arrive. While she waited, she went to work painting some basement shelves she hadn’t been able to finish in the final flurry to move out the day before.

I can’t imagine what the new owners must have thought when they pulled in to the driveway after their closing and saw Mom’s car there. But she had ingratiated herself with this family in previous weeks, forging quick friendships. She probably threw the door wide open for them with the same warm welcome she’d given a thousand other guests, explaining that she was there to finish painting… after which she would “get out of the way for their moving van.”

The new owners told her their truck wouldn’t be arriving until the next day and that they had just stopped by to be sure the house was empty. In a short while they departed, inviting Mom to stay as long as she wanted – and she wanted.

Once the painting was done, she did what she really came to do. She walked upstairs, entering each room, lying down on the floor, arms outstretched. She wanted to talk to God.

In each room

In the master bedroom, she thanked him for everything she could think of that had gone on in that room – for a husband who had always been faithful, for successful recoveries from illnesses and surgeries, for time with children who climbed in with her during thunderstorms, for a daughter who donned her bridal gown in that room just before getting married, and much more.

CompanyMeals galoreShe moved from room to room, each time spreading herself out on the floor and mixing memories with gratitude to God… no doubt with plentiful tears.

After she finished upstairs, she went to the main floor, and her prayers must have been lengthy as she thought about hundreds of get-togethers she’d held in that home.

 

Surely she thanked God for the chance to be a Christian witness to neighbors and friends in those rooms, especially grateful for the children and teens who accepted her frequent invitations to “C’mon over.”

She even went to the basement where so many church socials and gatherings had taken place, and my guess is that when she stretched out on her laundry room floor, she wept hard.

Many of her conversations with the Lord had taken place as she ironed, her favorite household chore. She stood at an old wooden ironing board often, ironing sheets, towels, tablecloths, handkerchiefs, even Dad’s underwear.

As a kid it seemed to me she looked for excuses to heat up her iron and stand there – but maybe it was because that was her holy space. I remember many a strained conversation (since I was her wayward daughter) that occurred as she ironed. The tension between us was always mitigated when we could focus on a pillow case going from wrinkled to smooth, rather than looking at each other.

Empty houseWhen Mom finished her worship time in each room that day, she took a few pictures of her empty home and walked out the door. Amazingly, though, she already had plans to return – just one more time.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Young Love (#74)

July 30, 1969

Moving van leavesAfter a moving van had delivered the grand piano, the organ, and all the other large furniture to Mom and Dad’s new house, all of us were emotionally and physically weary.

 

Tired packers

Everybody was looking forward to a good night’s sleep (though I don’t recall where Nate and I actually slept that night), but we decided to wait for Mom and Dad to arrive. When they didn’t come and didn’t come, we began to worry.

Finally, well after midnight, their car pulled into the drive. And when we saw Mom, we knew she had hit a low point. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying – this from a Mom I’d seen cry only twice in my life (once over a niece’s death, and once concerning a church problem).

As soon as they stepped in the door, I held up our “WELCOME HOME” sign, hoping it would cheer her. But it did just the opposite. She burst into tears, throwing her arms around me and saying something like, “God bless you for thinking of your old mother, darling.”

Knowing she was desperate for sleep, we led her into their new bedroom. We had made the bed and turned down the sheets, laying out their fanciest PJs. Candles were burning, music was playing, and we’d put a photo of us 3 kids on the dresser. We were shooting for humor — and as I watched her face, I did see the corners of her mouth turn up a tad, even as tears continued to fall.

Back yardBut poor Dad. His moving decision had been based on logic, as all his decisions were, knowing that empty-nesters didn’t need 5000 square feet of living space. Surely he felt bad watching Mom take it so hard, but having lived with her for 30 years at that point, he knew she would rally. He often said, “Your Ma is an optimist,” and that she was.

Though I had never read Mom’s 1969 journal until I dug it out this week, I was gratified to see what she’d written about that night:

MARGARET RISES TO STAND! BLESS DEAR BABY ANN! [her nickname for me] CARL AND I ARRIVED 1140 [new address] PAST MIDNIGHT, COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED AND EMOTIONIALLY DRAINED. OUR NEW BEDROOM WAS ALL IN ORDER, BEDS MADE WITH GLAMOROUS LINENS, OUR SEXIEST GOWNS LAID OUT, CANDLELIGHT, MUSIC PLAYING, THE CHILDREN’S PICTURE ON THE DRESSER, AND A WELCOME SIGN ON DOOR. Dear, dear Margaret.

After midnight.

I knew when the sun rose, Mom would feel better and would be able to start tackling the wall-to-wall boxes in her living room. What none of us could have guessed, though, was that she had pocketed a front door key to the old house and had already made plans to return there the next day.

Before she could officially say goodbye, she had some unfinished business to tend to.

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you…” (2 Peter 1:2)

Young Love (#73)

July 28-30, 1969

It was the end of July, and our days were crowded with moving tasks as we raced to beat the arrival of the moving van. An orderly transition was complicated by the fact that Mom and Dad’s new, smaller home needed redecorating… and kitchen remodeling… before they could settle in. Though we were gradually filling the rooms with boxes and furniture, nothing would be put in order until much later.

Sale dayMom kept her emotions at bay as she directed traffic in emptying the house. She hadn’t expected the sale to happen so fast, which is evident in her journal. Two months previously, on the day the house sold, she did some positive self-talking. “We know God led in this, every step of the way. With the added time, strength, and money, may it all be to His glory.”

She referred to selling “the house” but not “our home.” Mom believed the old adage, “Home is where the heart is,” and was hoping her heart would quickly catch up to her change of address. And then she wrote,

“Change and decay in all around we see.

Oh Thou who changeth not, abide with me (us).”

The folksMom knew she would eventually adjust to the change, but it was going to take time. Meanwhile, moving day was difficult. Ever the gregarious hostess, she had made friends with the new buyers before it was time to turn over the keys, and in the two months between contract-signing and possession, she’d invited them over repeatedly — for lemonade in the yard, for lunch in the dining room, to take measurements, and to snap pictures of what would soon be their home. I think Mom literally wanted to keep her foot in the door.

The day before the move, Mom had no time to make journal notes except to write, “Feverishly working!”

That evening our next-door-neighbors invited all of us over to their place for a nourishing dinner with all the trimmings, giving us a chance to reminisce about our happy history as neighbors. And when the moving van pulled in the next morning, we were ready.

All except Mom.

Moving Day.

Movers loaded the truck all morning and then pulled away toward the smaller house on the other side of town. Most of us followed to supervise the move-in, but Mom and Dad lingered at the old place, ostensibly to clean. She wrote in her journal, “We depart, sorrowfully, 708 [our address], but with grateful hearts for the hours spent here. This, and all our homes, are gifts from God.”

Sorrowful

Those of us at the new house thought it best to stay there till they arrived. While we waited, we made a brightly colored poster with a big, cheerful “WELCOME HOME!” on it. But when midnight came and they still hadn’t appeared, we began to worry.

“There is a time for every matter under heaven… a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)