Category Archives: Saying Goodbye

Young Love (#41)

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Nate and I continued our long-distance courtship with pen and paper, growing in frustration over not being able to be together. But the thought of a reunion over the 4th of July kept us both going. And if it included a proposal and engagement, so much the better!

parental-adviceOur 4 parents were concerned that we wouldn’t have a chaperone over that weekend, and his parents wrote to Nate, suggesting we invite my folks, or Mary and Bervin to join us. They said they would have volunteered but had important commitments at home then and were unavailable.

Neither Nate nor I wanted any chaperones on that special weekend, so we didn’t invite anyone. Though we’d be staying together in a motel room, we’d made up our minds to hold off on intimacy until marriage, and were determined to resist the temptation.

helmetJune 22, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I’ve been out on bivouac for 4 days. We fired rifles all day and slept in tents at night. We put water in our helmets and shaved out of them. I just learned that the letters I wrote to you for three days last week were held till Wednesday by the Army before being mailed. I love you so much that I nearly cry when I realize that I can’t be with you. But Jesus Christ is so real to me here. I talk to Him privately all day long. Our faith is the only way for us.

June 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. Thinking about our wedding and planning for it makes me feel closer to you. I’m thankful you are asking for help about the groom’s duties. I’m enclosing a list of things grooms do, just for your general information. You certainly don’t have to follow it to the letter, but it gives you an idea of what to expect. And since your brother is also in the military and won’t come in till the last minute, you’ll probably have to do his “best man” duties, too.

kissesJune 23, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you so much. Thank you a billion times for your wonderful letters. And thank you for the postcard with the kisses on it. I especially like what you wrote on the back, that I don’t have to pick, because I can have them all. We got New Testaments today in church. I read through James and half of Romans. I’m also thankful for the Bible you gave me. Like the song says, “You make me so very happy!”

June 23, 1969 – Dear Nate. I wrote your folks to thank them for visiting my parents and driving all that way. It worked out perfectly, and I’m amazed at how timely it all was. So far, everything has gone right. By the way, any time you have had a rough day or been treated unfairly or just want to ask questions about wedding plans, feel free to call me collect (if you can get to a phone). I’ll gladly accept any charges and will tell my roommates not to accept, if I’m not at home.

June 24, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for taking care of my books and clothes while I’m gone. I think of you every minute. Your blue eyes, beautiful hair, and warm body. I’m really lucky to be marrying you, Meg. And I thank the Lord I can love another person so much. We are running 5 miles every day, but much harder than that is being away from you, my Love. Good luck during this last week of school.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:6)

Young Love (#37)

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Between the end of Nate’s academic year and the beginning of his summer stint with the Army, he had 8 free days. We viewed that as a golden opportunity for more time with my parents, so we arranged for him to stay with them. I would stay there, too, and our hope was that by the end of those days, Mom would finally sanction our decision to marry.

We also hoped both Mom and Dad would surrender their idea of a year-long engagement. We didn’t want to cross them, but 6 months was our maximum wait-time.

The two of us thoroughly enjoyed being together and continued making plans. Nate accompanied me to my kindergartens, and let me “show him off” to faculty friends. After work we shared meals with friends, went to the movies, helped Mom and Dad with household projects, took miles-long walks, and “window shopped” engagement rings.

the-meetingA special highlight was when Nate’s parents drove 4 hours just to meet my folks and share a day with all of us. Everything went well, we were thankful.

From my journal:

I’m learning so much more about Nate this week. I’m convinced he is someone who will never reject me. He loved me long before I ever loved him, and as a result, my feelings for him have been able to grow at a steady, unhindered pace. With all the candid discussing we’ve done, I think we’ll have a head start on marriage together.

As for Mom, at the end of the week she did something that took me by surprise. Nate had made a big effort to win her approval, watching her closely and offering to help with whatever she was doing. He’d brought her gifts, (something no other boyfriend had done) and had given her a hug each time we’d returned home (also not done by the others).

She began warming to him, and became willing to negotiate for a wedding date. Somewhere between a short engagement (us) and a long one (them), we settled on Thanksgiving weekend. Mom liked the idea of sharing our turkey dinner with relatives who would come for the wedding, and we liked the idea of a brief engagement.

Back to my journal and Mom’s surprise:

glass-slipperTwo years earlier, Mom had bought a special gift to present to me when she thought I had found my prince charming. It would be her way of sanctioning my choice. At the end of our 8 days together, she presented me with that gift – a small glass slipper a la Cinderella – telling me she was sure Nate was the one. She also said that it was satisfying for her to be sure that I was sure, too. The glass-slipper-surprise was the watershed moment Nate and I had been hoping for with Mom, and now all 4 parents were on board.

At the end of those 8 days, Nate reluctantly got on a bus headed to Ft. Riley, Kansas, nearly 600 miles away. He became a soldier-in-training for 6 weeks and was owned by the Army. But as we kissed goodbye, I made up my mind I wasn’t going to let all that time pass without us being together.

“Love always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)