Category Archives: Saying Goodbye

A Sad Weekend

Posted on by

Tonight’s post is written in real-time and is not a re-post.

IMG_0777As if Mary and her family didn’t have enough on their minds these days, last week they were given more. Their Australian Shepherd Sydney, a model pet for 13 years, had begun having some serious health issues: everyday nervousness, a kidney infection, extremely deep sleeps, chronic ear infections, and eventually a refusal to eat.

When Marta took her to the vet where she works, the prognosis wasn’t good: renal failure.

Eventually Sydney stopped drinking, so Marta took her in for IV fluids to make her feel better. But time in the vet’s office was so strenuous for Syd, the decision was made to let her stay at home without further treatment.

On Friday Mary and Stina drove the 11 hours from Michigan to Arkansas to spend time with Sydney, Marta, and Julia’s family [the Levers] in an effort to make decisions together.

Mary tells the Saturday story:

“Poor Syd just wasn’t herself, not interested in anybody or anything. She wagged her tail and looked up but would quickly put her head down and close her eyes. She was declining in a hurry, not eating but just lying under the deck or a bush, away from everyone.

“I’d hoped to have a few days with her, but there was nothing to gain by that, especially for Syd. The vet on duty lives in the neighborhood, and we asked if he could bring home what he needed and do it here, so Syd wouldn’t have to endure another traumatic visit to the clinic. As a favor to Marta, he agreed.

IMG_4065“When Dr. Wolf arrived, Syd came trustingly out from under the deck to lay in the grass. He assured us she wasn’t going to get better with kidney failure.

“Julia’s family had delayed their vacation to be with us. We all gathered around Syd in the grass, and [Julia’s husband] Drew prayed and thanked God for Syd and for all the years we had with her. Everyone said their own goodbyes, and then the vet gave her a sedative.

IMG_3070“It was very easy, since Syd had an IV in her leg already. She relaxed, and I felt her go limp as her eyes closed and her sweet face settled into my hands. Then the vet, a sympathetic Christian man, administered the heart-stopping drug. And she was gone in a few minutes, very gentle and peaceful.

“Lots of tears were falling as we just sat stroking her and talking about her. Buddy [the year-old Springer belonging to Mary and Bervin’s grandson Andrew] lay down and put his head on Syd. Little [2 year old] Abigail put a black garbage bag over her like a blanket.

“I’m so glad the Levers stayed late, because the girls and I would never have been able to dig a grave in this stony Arkansas ground. We buried Syd near Rusty, their dog that died a few years ago, in a quiet woodsy area of their property.

IMG_7964“After it was all over, we all felt we’d done the right thing for Syd. It was quiet and peaceful sitting on their front porch afterwards, but I miss Syd and tear up just thinking about her. She was a good and perfect dog, and we loved her very much. It was a hard day here, but it’s almost over.”

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father.” James 1:17

Like it or lick it.

Posted on by

A bad habitToday I did something I said I’d never do again, but an old habit got in the way of my new resolve. I picked up a packet… no… a box-full of hard-copy photos from the store. I’m embarrassed to say I now have 307 new prints to put into albums.

An old Chinese proverb says, “Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.” As the wildlife in our basement enjoys cob-webbing our 196 photo albums, I’m upstairs shackling myself with a cable wrapped around me 307 times. Now I have the undertaking of putting these prints in books I haven’t even bought yet. Worse yet, it’ll put us over the 200-album mark, a dubious honor.

What could possibly be the reason for such idiocy? I do have one. It’s the tiny but potent memory card inside my digital camera. Because I can delete any photo, I take pix with abandon, which is what brought me up against three maxed-out cards that needed clearing. The thought of losing even one good shot nagged me until I finally decided to make 4×6 copies to have and to hold… as is my habit.

My kids have pressed me to give up hard copies entirely, and I promised I would… next time. For now I can’t ignore the cry of my basement albums: “You’ve loved us for so long! Don’t stop now!”

Is photo hoarding a bad habit? Or is it a harmless pastime?

Are there any harmless bad habits?

My 307 pictures got me thinking. How many other bad habits do I have that haven’t been classified as such? What behaviors more serious than album-collecting ought to be stopped? Every bad habit has something tantalizing within it. We can’t lick it because we like it. It feeds us somehow, gratifies something, gives back in some way. If it didn’t, we’d walk away.

Experts tell us the best way to get rid of an undesirable habit is to substitute a desirable one. But since there’s already something desirable nestled within every bad habit, finding an even more desirable substitute can be problematic. It’s one of life’s big challenges.

YumIf I could figure out how to conquer my album-addiction, maybe I could triumph over other bad habits, say, my love affair with sugar. How could there ever be anything more desirable than sugar? For now, I’m just trying to think of something better than stockpiling photos in the basement. After watching Louisa reorganize her computer pictures for several hours, keeping electronic  albums doesn’t have much appeal either.

After all, dusting the cobwebs off my basement albums could be done in three minutes flat. If I’m munching on candy while doing it, two.

”For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” (Proverbs 23:7a)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Thanks so much for continuing to pray about my feeding tube pain and the the appointment with a GI doctor.
  2. I’m thankful the tube itself continues to feed me well.

My Father, in Life and Death

Posted on by

For nearly 30 years my dad owned a successful engineering firm, operating out of a Chicago high rise in the concrete canyons of the Loop. As a kid I visited him often (often with girlfriends in tow), admiring the thick glass double doors in his reception area and his big office overlooking the skyline.

BlueprintsDad’s drafting room resembled a Disney studio with its 200 tilted drawing tables and men perched atop tall stools working on royal-colored blueprints. To him, though, it was just a way to earn a living. After retirement at 70, he didn’t look back and never missed it.

Dad did well for a little boy who started school without a word of English. His Swedish immigrant parents worked hard and expected him to do the same, which he did, finishing school with two degrees from Northwestern University.

Attending a Swedish Free Church in the city, he heard the Gospel as a child and received Christ into his life, never wavering in his commitment. A quiet man, he didn’t dictate his faith but lived it out in front of us for 92 years. As Mom frequently said, “Your father is the most Christ-like man I’ve ever known.”

The WillWhen Dad died, his last will and testament was more like a last will and testimony. I read the legal document through, no small task with its complicated legalese, but two paragraphs jumped off the pages. They had nothing to do with trusts or assets, and were written in simple language I understood:

Article I – I commit my soul into the hands of my Savior in full confidence that, having redeemed it and washed it in His most precious blood, He will present it faultless before my Heavenly Father.

Article IV – It is my hope that the beneficiaries will remember the words of Our Lord who said, “A man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” (Luke 12:15) Let them consider themselves as stewards of their possessions, not forgetting to use them for the welfare of others, particularly with respect to bringing the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those in spiritual darkness. By giving both time and money unselfishly, they will discover the truth of Our Lord’s words: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) and “Whosoever will be chief among you, let him be the servant of all.” (Matthew 20:27)

Dad and MomDad was ready to die, because he had made the main thing the main thing. He’d led a life of quiet sacrifice, serving the poor, giving a hefty percentage of his income to the Lord’s work, and putting himself after everyone else. He’d given much and, as the Bible says will happen to a giving person, he was then given more.

He also left a legacy of harmony in his family, a large group in which there was no fighting, no anger, no bitterness. I remember hundreds of the words he spoke in life but none more vividly than those he left in death. *

“Freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)

* Re-posted from June, 2011.

Praising and Praying with Mary

Pray about tomorrow’s time at the hospital: for accurate action on the feeding tube pain, for chemo #5, and against the nausea.

I’m thankful for Bervin, the loving father of my children and grandchildren.