Newlywed Love (#99)

Posted on November 1, 2017 by Margaret

September 12-13, 1970

Although Nate was a diligent student who put his work ahead of almost everything else, I never had trouble coaxing him to take a break with me – whether it was to go for a walk, splurge on a Dairy Queen cone, or head into the bedroom.

I felt secure in knowing that though his studies were important to him, he made me an even higher priority. What girl could want more than that?

After a grueling week, especially for him, we were eager for the weekend when Chicago friends Kathy and Bob would arrive for 24 hours. The 4 of us had met in undergrad days — Kathy and I at Wheaton, Bob and Nate at Northwestern.

These two had actually introduced Nate and I on that fateful blind date when I’d worn only underwear beneath my Jackie Kennedy coat. We would be forever indebted to them.

Bob and Nate had much in common. Both were in law school, and both loved discussing current events. Both were facing uncertainty with the Army gobbling up young men as it was, and both were working hard to please their new wives.

When Kathy and Bob arrived, we enjoyed catching up on all our friends from college days, and the weekend was a big success. We visited a flea market where Nate splurged on two spoon rings for us. Bob picked up the tab at the Chinese restaurant, and we howled over silly pictures from our early days together.

After Sunday morning breakfast, once again we found ourselves in the street in front of our building waving goodbye, wondering when we’d next see these two special people.

Though Nate and I were late for the church service, we were on time for our Sunday school class of young marrieds, which met afterwards. Ralph, the head pastor everyone loved, was our teacher, and he was always ready with stirring questions that prompted lively discussion each week.

I admired the way he settled debates with Scripture. On this particular Sunday, though, we were surprised by what happened. One of the young husbands, Martin, was frustrated by the way the dialogue was going and began criticizing Ralph with harsh words.

The rest of us sat speechless as he raised his voice and overstepped his bounds, saying things we knew he would regret. Ralph, trying to be gracious, was being steamrolled, and none of us knew what to do.

Then Nate jumped in.

He addressed Martin directly, and without using any unkind words, he pointed out the flaws in his arguments. Then he took Martin to task over the way he was disrespecting our pastor, silencing him in the process. As Nate spoke, I glanced at the others in the room. Some were nodding. Others were grinning. And I was bursting with pride.

Though Ralph reached out to Martin after class, Martin seemed unable to reach back, but I imagine our soft-spoken pastor thought about that difficult morning all afternoon.

During our evening stroll, Nate asked for my opinion about the class, hoping he hadn’t said too much. I assured him his words were very much needed, and after praising his tactful but effective Martin-muzzling, my only other thought was, “I feel sorry for his wife…”

….which, of course, was because I had it so good.

“As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10)

Newlywed Love (#97)

Posted on October 13, 2017 by Margaret

September 6-7, 1970

A blog note:

Our daughter Birgitta and granddaughter Emerald (right) will be arriving tonight for a happy weekend in Michigan.

Then on Monday, my college roommate Julie (below) will be coming with her friend Ming for the rest of the week.

Because of these festivities, the blog-saga of Meg and Nate’s newlywed year will be on hold for a week or so.

Eventually we’ll get them to their first wedding anniversary (November 29) before closing the book on them. First, though, let’s see how the 1970 Labor Day weekend finished out:

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After Lynn and Don’s wedding, Nate and I made a bee-line across two suburbs to Mom and Dad’s place in Wilmette – anticipating a reunion with our beloved doggie Baron. As soon as we saw him, Nate scooped him up and planted a kiss right on his nose. (Picture is of a second kiss the next day…)

We were astounded by how much he’d grown. Obviously, he was a happy, healthy poochie.

On Sunday, Mom hosted a mid-day dinner that doubled as a birthday party for Dad (#71) and brother Tom (#20), who was born on Dad’s 50^th.

Among the party guests was Tom’s good friend David (to the left of Tom), the guy who had become a regular babysitter for Baron. As the afternoon unfolded, Nate and I could see how close David and Baron had become, with “our” puppy responding better to him than to us.

On the drive back to Champaign early the next morning, we could see the writing on the wall. Since we had one more year in our apartment where dogs weren’t allowed, and since Mom and Dad seemed to continually be on the move, Baron would be spending more and more time with David — and end up in his family instead of ours.

Though we could rightfully claim him after our year in Champaign, by then that would be hard on both boy-and-dog. So, as we ticked off the miles toward home, we felt ourselves slowly accepting a difficult truth: we would need to begin separating from sweet Baron.

We drove along in silence trying to absorb this sad reality, and I remembered something David had said at the dinner. “I hope some day you’ll let me take care of Baron full time. That would be a dream come true for me. And my whole family already loves him.”

Though Nate was feeling low too, he came up with one positive thought. “I’m sure if Baron went with David, he’d let us visit him any time we came to town.” Since his family and ours were good friends through decades together at Moody Church, I knew that was true.

“Also,” Nate said, “letting your parents get out from under the responsibility we never should have put on them in the first place, is the right thing to do.” We both knew that, too.

By the time we pulled into our gravel parking spot behind the apartment, Nate and I reasoned that maybe the back story of why Baron had come to us at all was because God wanted us to deliver him to David. As hard as that was to think about, it would mean that everything was actually turning out the way it was supposed to be.

“Submit to God and be at peace with him.” (Job 22:21)

Newlywed Love (#96)

Posted on October 12, 2017 by Margaret

September 5, 1970

After Lynn and Don’s wedding rehearsal, we were all primed to see them tie the knot. But there was much to be done first.

We bridesmaids, along with Lynn’s mom, headed for a salon where several hairdressers transformed our flat swimming-pool-hair to full-bodied, bouncy curls. Even my head, with hair not nearly as long as the others, was coaxed by their expert hands to cooperate. As we left, our up-dos all matched.

When it was finally time to parade down the church aisle, all of us were eager for it, especially the bride and groom. Although Nate and I had separate assignments, we took every chance to whisper quick reminiscences about our own wedding day… such happy memories.

Mary and Bervin were there along with my parents, and Mom was at the organ. It was fun connecting with old Moody Church cronies along with former summer camp friends. And the pastor did a superb job pulling Lynn’s and Don’s life-stories together.

Before we knew it, we were in the church fellowship hall with the newly-married couple, watching them cut their wedding cake – with one of the very long swords.

When it was all over, Nate and the others hustled upstairs to march in formation toward the wedding arch.

Lynn and Don were definitely the stars of the day, but my personal star was Nate, and I couldn’t help being very proud of him as I watched him fulfill his duties with excellence.

Actually, I couldn’t wait to get him home alone. I wanted to tell him once more how glad I was to be married to him, knowing he’d be my partner “till death parted us,” as we had vowed on our wedding day 9 months earlier.

We all knew that Don, because of his active status with the Army, would be going to Vietnam in April. That meant he and Lynn had less than 8 months together before he would be gone for a year.

Nate and I couldn’t imagine how that would feel for a newlywed couple that just wanted to be together. But we also knew the same thing could happen to Nate, even though he was only in the reserves. It all depended on how long the war would continue.

In any case, as I watched Lynn and Don get married, I promised myself I would never take Nate’s presence for granted, not for a single day, and would appreciate every hour we had together.