Love Without End, Part 3

Nate loved his Rolex and learned that every other Rolex-wearer felt the same. I remember a moment when the two of us were sitting on an ice cold bleacher-bench in a local park, watching Little League baseball on a winter-like spring day. The lady on the other side of him was bragging loudly to her friend about her new Rolex watch, a gold version she said had cost thousands. I knew that was true, having had my own gold Rolex several years before.

As I listened to her, I was awash in regret for having carelessly lost my watch. “Lucky her,” I thought. “She’s still got hers.”

Then Nate leaned over and whispered, “That’s not a Rolex.”

“What?” I said, knowing her watch looked exactly like mine.

“It’s a knock-off,” he said.

“How can you tell?”

“The hands. Her second hand is jumping with each tick. On a real Rolex it sweeps.”

Rolex knock-offI was impressed he knew that, and suddenly unimpressed with the woman’s bragging. It’s possible her watch was a gift and she didn’t know she’d been given a fake (like this picture), but whatever the case, all the boasting in the world wasn’t going to change that counterfeit into the genuine article.

Apparently every designer product has a knock-off version these days. I could buy a $2000 “Prada” bag for only $155 or a pair of “Louboutin” high heels worth $2400 for $68. Of course just as Nate recognized the fake Rolex, a Prada or Louboutin fan could quickly pick out the imitation.

That got me thinking about people, especially those of us who claim to be Christians. We’ve all known church attendees who parroted the right spiritual lingo, i.e. wore the right label, but who didn’t live out the philosophy behind it. Truth be told, we’ve all done it now and then. But just as a child can sense when an adult doesn’t like him, non-Christians know when someone is a “knock-off believer” trying to fake faith.

Scripture indicates that God doesn’t think much of that, which forces me to examine the validity of my own faith. Am I sometimes a phony Christian, acting one way but thinking another? Two-faced behavior like that amounts to a double standard in God’s opinion and is a serious offense to him.

A real RolexIt’s important to examine my thoughts and actions carefully and rout out any inconsistencies. I absolutely want to be the genuine article (like the watch at left). Although Nate loved his Rolex, several years after he received it, he put it in a drawer. Believing it was too ostentatious as we struggled to put food on our family table, he felt uncomfortable wearing it and went back to his low-cost watch. Even though I’d bought him the watch, I loved him more for making that choice.

And after that, if any Rolex-wearer noticed his timepiece was an inexpensive model, that was ok by him.

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” (James 3:13)

So Jealous

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved babies. As a child I begged God to make my dolls come to life and fantasized about one day having a big family. So when I was five-years-old and learned Mom was going to have a real live baby, I was thrilled. Although I wasn’t allowed to name him, my parents told me he would be “my” baby brother, a dream come true.

Tommy and MargaretSometimes Mom let me feed him or hold him, but she never let him out of her sight. It didn’t take long to figure out he wasn’t really “mine”, and eventually I sensed he had become more important than I was. The camera clicked only in his direction, and when company came, it was all about the new baby.

Gradually, all the good parts of having a baby (like letting me own him) were eliminated, and the bad parts (like everyone ignoring me) increased. Feeling set aside, I became very jealous.

Jealousy is hideous. It produces intolerance, suspicion, and bitterness, but worst of all, it always grows. As little Tommy grew, so did my jealousy. By the time he was a pre-schooler, I teased him continually, which required steady reprimanding from both parents and filled our home with friction.

It wasn’t until my friends became more important than pestering a little brother that my jealousy slowly subsided. I took an honest look at young Tom and saw he actually had a few good points. And by the time I went off to college, I missed him a great deal. When he eventually approached me with questions about dating, I was honored.

In recent years I’ve studied what God thinks of jealousy, and it’s not good. Although he has the right to be jealous over people because we all belong to him, the rest of us put ourselves on several very condemning lists when we’re jealous.

For starters, God equates jealousy with drunkenness, sexual immorality, wickedness and corruption. Later he adds idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, rage and discord as jealousy’s bedfellows. Another list cites slander, anger, quarreling and arrogance. None of that is company I want to keep.

Tom and MargToday Tom is absolutely dear to me, a champion brother for whom I have nothing but respect and gratitude. When I see how close I came to letting jealousy destroy this valuable relationship, I’m overwhelmed with God’s grace (and Tom’s) in letting me off the hook. And, no thanks to me, the Lord protected and preserved our sibling bond through that ugly storm.

Amazingly Tom has never retaliated for my jealous misbehavior… unless of course he’s got that scheduled for next week.

“Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties or drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and… jealousy.(Romans 13:13)

Rush to Judgment

photo 2This week we experienced the fun of a completed deck in our back yard. Michigan Lake and Land did an expert job, cutting no corners and satisfying my every whim. They cooperated with all my ideas, everything from building a weather-proof room beneath the deck to designing two super-sturdy baby gates that “disappear” into deck fencing when they’re locked in place.

photo 1I’ve kept my eye open for reasonable deck furniture, nothing cushy, just tables and chairs that will rain-wash well. Two second-hand tables got face-lifts with fresh paint, and I couldn’t wait to set it all up.

Once the white paint had dried (in the basement), I turned each painted piece a bit each day for a full week, making sure every edge was dry so not one drop of paint would end up on the deck.

Stepping up Then this weekend, it was time to assemble it all. After carrying each piece to the deck, I was appalled to see drops of paint on every other step and scattered at random on the boards. Squatting to see if it was, indeed, wet paint, I was crushed when the drops smeared beneath my finger.

How could that have happened after I tried to be so careful? And how was I going to get the paint off the boards without ruining the stain?

Then God answered my questions. A big bird flew overhead, letting go of a liquid deposit that landed right next to me, a white splotch that splattered just enough to toss random drops here and there. The paint spots, it turned out, weren’t paint at all, just white bird-do, an easy-off with a wet rag.

My rush to judgment was typical me, sizing up a situation without all the facts. It isn’t serious when dealing with a deck, but in the case of a person, it can be disaster. Most scenarios aren’t what they first seem, and if we refrain from drawing quick conclusions about someone, new (and usually helpful) information always surfaces.

The Lord perfectly modeled how not to judge prematurely by not doing it with us. Instead of rushing to judgment (even though he actually has all the facts), he waits patiently till we figure it out on our own.

Let's eat...Jesus mentions in Scripture that he prays for us, and surely some of those prayers are that we’ll come under conviction as needed. He doesn’t bring down the hatchet too early but hopes instead we’ll voluntarily change whatever needs changing. Eating humble pie might be part of it, and though that never tastes good, it can nourish us well.

I certainly jumped to the wrong conclusion about my blemished deck, but I do think it’s accurate to say that bird won’t repent or change his behavior. No matter. It was an easy fix with a wet rag…. followed by a thorough hand washing.

Ready for conversation“Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” (John 7:24)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Pray for tomorrow’s chemo #9. Your prayers are holding back the nausea!
  2. I’m praising God that after tomorrow, I’ll be half way through!