Category Archives: Submitting to God

Life is for the Living

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photo(1)On Monday of this week Mary endured her last chemo in a series 18 infusions stretching from early-May to mid-October. She is, as she says, “Glad to be done.” Here are her thoughts on this life-altering experience:

When I first learned I had pancreatic cancer last February, I thought I’d be long gone by summer. But here I am, having benefited from a delightful summer and now enjoying the beauty of fall. One thing cancer has taught me is how to fully live in-the-now. God has made hundreds of promises to us, but none guarantees a specific length of days, and though I vaguely knew that before my cancer, now I really get it. Letting go of my future has made me very grateful for today.

Some cancer patients say they feel like a walking time bomb. Others talk about a dark cloud hanging over their heads. My intention is to reject those negatives and find my identity in Christ rather than in cancer statistics or medical opinions.

In my case, surgery and chemo bought me some time, and time is precious. But none of the doctors can say I’m cured, nor have they given me a hope for that. As a matter of fact, the word they’ve used to describe my cancer is “vicious.” So I’m not in denial but am hoping to live somewhere between the extremes of denial and despair. I’m pretty sure that’s where God wants me to be.

Life is for the living, and I want to live each day well. As a result of my cancer, I’m holding tightly to four important principles that I knew before my diagnosis but have experienced in new ways since then. They’ll benefit me for the rest of my life, however long that is:

  1. God’s promises are powerful and true.
  2. God answers prayers.
  3. God provides exactly the strength and endurance needed.
  4. The community of believers is important.

Spending too much time alone isn’t good for any of us, and I’ve learned that the best kind of company is that of encouraging Christians who find their hope in the Lord. If I trust only in myself, my frame of mind quickly spirals downward.

One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 1:18: I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people. I’m thankful God considers me one of his “holy people” and that my inheritance is a glorious one.

Though I should continue making plans, I need to hold them lightly, remembering that life is a series of letting-go’s…. of the calendar, of our possessions, and of our favorite people. Cancer forced me to consider these things up close, and I’m thankful for that.

So, whatever happens from now on, I’m certain God won’t let me die till he says it’s time. And that’s good enough for me.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

Loosening Our Grip

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Back in July when I learned my family of 20 might all be in the same place at the same time come September, I did a little happy dance. This would be a treat we rarely get to have, mostly because 6 of us live in England and 6 in Florida.

As the visit approached, we were especially eager since the 9 young cousins were finally old enough to begin engaging in ways that wouldn’t fade by the time they gathered again:

9 cousinsL to R: Skylar (6) holding Isaac (7 months), Nicholas (5) holding Andrew (15 months), Micah (4), Evelyn (4), Thomas (4), Autumn (2), Emerald ( 23 months).

One thing high on my list of priorities was to get a picture of all 20 of us together, and with a camera inside every phone, I figured that wasn’t asking too much. I even talked to Mary about it. “Hey,” she said. “Your family is already on Stina’s list for the wedding photographer, so it’ll be easy!”

My heart soared.

That, however, was when God entered the conversation, prompting me to think along other lines. “I want you to surrender that picture,” he said. “Let go of that goal.”

“Why?” I said. “It’s coming together effortlessly!”

He gave no reason, but my strong sense was that I should follow his instructions. When I shared with Mary she said, “Oh don’t worry. It’ll get done. You’ll see.”

Sometimes God does this kind of thing though. He waits till we really, REALLY want something badly, then asks us to hand it over to him for what appears to be no good reason.

A picture is a small thing compared to many other things (or people) we could long for, but in my heart I really wanted it. Nevertheless, I began talking myself down. “So, what’s the worst thing that will happen if you don’t get the picture? It won’t be the end of the world, will it? Just do what God wants. If it doesn’t happen, at least you will have been prepared.”

And so, after a good deal of mental haranguing, I gave it up…. just as the stomach flu arrived. On the wedding day, Stina’s photographer did line us up for a picture, but it was less than satisfying, since 2 were home sick. But I heard God whisper, “Being prepared made it easier, didn’t it?” As always, he was right.

The next day, Mary and Bervin invited everyone to return to the wedding site for brunch and a baseball game. Even the bride and groom were there, and we were all enjoying the day when someone said, “Hey, Nymans. How ‘bout a family photo, since you’re all here today?”

Our familyAnd isn’t that just like God? When we surrender something we badly want, he often gives it right back to us.

“Nothing…. will ever be able to separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:39)

Come and eat!

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Wise women have said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I believe it.

Lois cooks.When Nate and I got married, he came to me from a childhood of his mother’s creative cooking, a woman with a lavish cook book collection that she used daily. As a newlywed, I realized I’d have to learn to cook if I was going to make my man happy.

Fortunately there was an effective buffer between Lois’ high-class dinners and my incompetence in the kitchen: university food.

Nate’s memory of those childhood meals dimmed as he ate in college dining halls from 1963 until we married in 1969, and his expectations were wonderfully low.

Dining hallAfter 40 years of cooking thousands of meals for him, I remember only one word of criticism. I’d made a teriyaki stir fry, one of his favorites, but the sauce had turned out thin. So I used a tip from Mom, adding a bit of corn starch to thicken the juices.

When Nate came to the table, he saw what we were having and said, “Mmmmm. Stir fry!”

We all sat down, heaped food on our plates and dug in. Nate had already eaten three forkfuls by the time I took my first. “My word!” I said. “What’s wrong with this stuff?”

That’s when Nate’s criticism came. “I kept trying, because I couldn’t believe it tasted so awful. What did you do?”

“I have no idea,” I said, walking my plate toward the disposal. That’s when I noticed I’d inadvertently “thickened” with baking soda instead of corn starch. After we’d all enjoyed frozen pizza, we had a good laugh over my culinary error.

Although I never did become a skilled cook, I did learn one valuable principle preparing meals for a big family each day. More important than flavor, smell, ingredients, or presentation was volume. Everyone was happier with a full stomach, and filling them up became my #1 priority. Not having enough was worse than having only some of a perfectly balanced meal.

Feasting on the WordThis principle works well with spiritual eating, too. We can hold out for a gourmet feast: a peaceful place to read the Bible, a blank notebook, a pen that works, and a set of commentaries. We can wait to pray until we’re sure of uninterrupted time. But if we do, we’ll always be on the edge of spiritual starvation.

God is sure to deliver soul-food-nourishment as our appetites for him grow. And as long as we continue to eat with him, he’ll make sure there’s always enough.

Scripture refers to its words as milk (for beginners) and meat (for the more advanced) and encourages us to taste it. So apparently the old adage does have some truth to it: the way to a person’s true heart is indeed through the stomach.

“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.” (John 6:27)