Category Archives: Submitting to God

God is here.

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Throughout the Bible, God tells us he’ll never abandon us. He assures us of his love and says he’s as close as our right hand. But sometimes, when going through life‘s hardest challenges, we wonder where he is.

Here in Rochester, as we do our best to take one day at a time, we often pray this:

“Father, please let us see you today. Give us a strong sense of your presence.” Those are good prayers, since sometimes God seems to have gone away.

Or has he?

Yesterday when Nelson was discouraged about not being able to leave the hospital, he and Ann Sophie prayed, asking God to deliver some specific encouragement. “Show us your unfailing love, Lord.“

It didn’t take him very long to show himself. As Ann Sophie was leaving Nelson’s hospital room, one of the nurses said, “I’m praying for you. We need the Lord to make your path straight.”

That’s a direct quote from Proverbs 3:6, and suddenly, there was God, speaking his own words over Ann Sophie.

In the hospital elevator, a young man saw baby Will and said, “Is it your baby that’s sick ?”

Ann Sophie said, “No.”

“That’s good,“ he said. “It’s not my baby, either. It’s me.“

“Is it cancer?“

“Yes, but I hope to get some time.“

Before he walked away he said, “Don’t ever give up. Just keep trusting the Lord.“ And there was God, with another important truth from his word.

A few minutes later, as Ann Sophie was leaving the hospital after dark, she’d forgotten where she’d parked the car and was walking around several blocks. A man looking like he might want to cause trouble approached her. Her inner defenses went up, especially since she had the baby with her.

When the man passed her by, he stopped, turned around, and said, “May God bless you and your little baby. And remember, Jesus loves you.“

Ann Sophie thanked him and saw God again. None of us believe these encounters are anything other than God himself moving in close with love, courage and a special message: “I’m here.”

Also, today he showed his loving kindness big-time by giving Nelson the desire of his heart—to come home!

Of course things aren’t perfect. His legs, feet and left arm are still badly swollen, and chemo-nausea kicked in tonight with some vomiting. Then the catheter into his right lung refused to drain. So it’s back to the clinic tomorrow for further tests and a troubleshooting ultrasound.

 

But tonight, none of that matters, because our Nelson is home.

Jesus told his disciples, “Because you have seen me, you believe….” (John 20:29)

Commentary from Nelson on a tiring day

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We have received some good help today. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on a bed in a small room like any other hospital room. There’s a TV and snacks and a little table with the IV drip stand like usual, only this time it’s for chemotherapy and immunotherapy.

Picture this. I come to the hospital at 6:45 in the morning for a blood draw for them to continue testing things. Then I go into another room to talk to a doctor for a while about medications, making sure we should move forward with the chemotherapy.

After that, at about 9:30 AM, I come to this room. Today it took two nurses and one doctor five different attempts to find a functioning vein in one of my arms so they could run the IV. I guess I’ve been stuck enough times to make it difficult to find success.

Once they get that squared away, they begin emptying one bag of liquid into me after another. The amazing thing is that the contents of the bags are poison in one sense. After this, I’m not supposed to kiss my wife, and when I go to the bathroom, I’m supposed to flush the toilet two times after sitting down to pee, because the fluid is so radioactive. But apparently this stuff is death to cancer.

It’s not cheap, though. I’m told that the bag containing immunotherapy costs more than $30,000. Can you imagine spilling it by mistake?

I have five of these chemo/immuno infusions scheduled over the next many weeks, each one with a CAT scan in between to monitor progress going forward. Today I’m receiving the second of the five. In three weeks I’ll get the next one.

All the testing, scans, appointments, consultations, studies, and everything else comes down to me sitting here in this hospital bed with that clear liquid going into my blood. And that’s the cancer-killer. Isn’t that weird?

After the three hour infusion was over today, I was scheduled for another draining of my lung called a thoracentesis. This time it was the left side instead of the right. In the four months since this medical drama began, I’ve only had the left lung drained once, and there wasn’t much extra fluid there then. Today they pulled out 2.2 liters—breaking my old record for biggest draw ever, which was 1.6 liters. No wonder I needed oxygen all the time. There will be pain for a few days every time I take a breath, but that will gradually subside. And meanwhile, I’m able to get more air.

It’s been a tiring day, but as I said, we received some good help today.

“In the Lord…my heart trusts, and I am helped.” (Psalm 28:7)

Inside Out

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Nelson is doing well and feels fairly good. He’s got energy he didn’t have two weeks ago, and today the three of us (four with Will) ran a string of errands during which Nelson never had to sit one out. He’s continuing to meet his five daily goals, and today he ticked off lots of number four’s.

Though the swelling in his tissues continues to worsen and pop up in new places, it isn’t causing pain but is more of an inconvenience. Tomorrow may include several scans to scope out any developing problems.

Overall, he’s doing beautifully, but he’s very tired. His immediate family is tired, too, along with the rest of us. We’re all tired. Unfortunately, cancer never gets tired. It always has the energy to multiply, attack, and relocate without stopping to rest.

When I look at Nelson, I see pretty much the same guy on the outside, but doctors describe chaos on his insides. A war is waging between bad cells and good, both desiring dominance. Evil is fighting against good.

This morning as I was getting ready for the day, I heard Nelson singing in the living room. It was a country tune that revealed a joyful heart. Though he’s got cancer in multiple places, it’s failing in its attempt to dominate him.

Nelson is in a physical crisis but not a spiritual one. His spiritual life is healthy and whole. Actually, it’s flourishing. Why? Because his inner heart, his soul, and his spirit, are being influenced by God’s Holy Spirit, and that Spirit is injecting new life and fresh hope into him every day.

Satan works overtime to kill people, to steal their hopes, to destroy their relationships. But ultimately he has to answer to God Almighty. And God Almighty says, “Letting [my] Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)

Nelson has invited the Spirit to control his mind, which is why his inner self is characterized by life and peace.

But what if he was going it on his own, without the governing Spirit of God within him? The best he could do would be to rely on doctors, test results, drugs, and palliative care. Nelson is incorporating those things, too, but his #1 source of stability is the Lord himself.

“God will give life to his mortal body by this same Spirit living within him.” (Romans 8:11)