Category Archives: Submitting to God

Calendar Wite-Out

Posted on by

Most people are chased by a full calendar every single day. If nothing is written on the squares, it’s the exception, and the general rule is that over-commitment is better than under-commitment. That’s not a very good rule.

Wite-outMany of us travel through unique periods of time when God uses Wite-Out on our calendars for us, at least temporarily. For example, when a family emergency occurs. It’s shocking how quickly our calendar priorities adjust to let us rush to the aid of someone we love.

Another example might be if we have to go to court for something or are lucky enough to draw jury duty. At first we scramble and say no-can-do. I’m too busy. But somehow, because the law says we must, we do.

Mary’s situation is another instance of a cleared calendar. The day she heard she had a lethal cancer, her calendar erased itself. Figuring she had only a short time to live, she X-ed out everything except connections with doctors and family. And this, after having been one very busy lady!

But God didn’t allow that to happen without purpose. As Mary spent time preparing for and recuperating from surgery, she suddenly had hours and hours to herself, time the likes of which she’d never known. She slowed down enough to really think. About her history, her future, her possible death, her blessings, her losses, her relationships, her priorities, her Lord and his Scriptures. Quiet, uncommitted time was not wasted time. Actually, it might have been the most spiritually valuable period of her 70 years.

CacophanyIn our pursuit of maximum productivity, it’s easy to let priorities become skewed. But is it God’s nature to compete for our attention with a cacophony of other commitments? He’s told us that if we want a vibrant, life-directing relationship with him, he must be #1. As Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters.” (Matthew 6:24)

Each of us has the freedom to choose who or what we want to be in charge of our lives. A Wited-out calendar might occur because of something difficult or even heartrending, but being given unfettered time to think about and re-orient a life is a really good thing.

Mary is feeling great right now, and today she used the word “happy” in reference to her frame of mind. As the days go by, though, she’s been writing on her calendar again, and every day this week is already jam-packed. So she’s asked us to pray that she won’t become over-committed, and that all she’s gleaned from her cleaned-off calendar will not be lost.

With chemo beginning in one week, God may help her with that project in ways she can’t anticipate now. But because it’s him doing it, it’s bound to turn out really good.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:5)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for organized Bible studies (after a visit with Bible study colleagues today) and the rich friendships that result
  2. Praise for 6 pounds gained!
  3. Pray for God’s discernment concerning new calendar commitments
  4. Pray for the strength to say “no” when she should

In the Classroom

Posted on by

Mary has learned, as many of us have, that a health crisis can be the best of teachers. In her case, the instructor’s name is “CANCER” and the lesson plan is “WISDOM”.

mobile phoneTonight Mary and I shared a rich conversation on the phone. As always, I had pen and paper handy, ready to write down her prayer requests for tonight’s blog. But by the time we said goodbye, I’d taken two pages of notes. Her insights (below) poured forth without stopping, complete with appropriate Scriptures to back them up. I wish I’d had a recorder!

 

Here’s some of what she said:

  1. Doctors work with statistics, and God works with hearts.
  2. Good endings can come from bad beginnings.
  3. Irregular days cause us to value regular ones.
  4. Taking one day at a time isn’t just a cliché but a good philosophy.
  5. When God doesn’t withdraw a crisis, he partners with us through it.
  6. Future plans must be held loosely.
  7. Hospitals and doctor’s offices are great places to plant seeds of hope in hopeless people.
  8. No matter how serious the crisis, there’s always something to praise God for.

She revealed her new heart as she talked about #6 above, describing her changed point of view. “I used to think if I wrote something on my calendar, it was a definite. Whatever it said, would get done. Once cancer hit, I had to back away from all kinds of obligations I had been sure I was going to keep.”

ContentShe went on. “Now when I write something on the calendar, I can’t be sure it’ll happen. It’s all up to God. If I can meet my commitments, it will be because he willed it that way. If I can’t, it’s also because he willed it. It’s all up to him.”

We talked about the Scripture passage in James that says something like this: “Don’t say, ‘Today or tomorrow we’ll go here or there’ when you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Instead you should say, ‘If it’s the Lord’s will, we’ll do this or that’.” (4:13-15)

She explained how she “gets that” now in a way she never had before and wants to hold everything loosely in the future. Applying it to her choice of hospital and chemotherapy team, any of the 3 would have been fine, she said, because wherever she landed, God would still be in charge. “So the choice was really between good, good, and good.”

She and Bervin chose the University of Chicago Hospital, and whatever is accomplished there will be because God accomplishes it through the chemo team. Such thinking lifts what could have been a heavy burden before going into treatment, which will begin on May 12, and last for 6 months.

I loved being in Mary’s cancer-classroom tonight, listening to all she’s learned. And as incongruous as it may seem, because of her cancer, she’s better than ever.

“The things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for the chemo decision having been made
  2. Praise for a “regular” day, participating at the Mom-to-Mom Ministry at church
  3. Pray that God will guard my heart when I can’t sleep and fears try to creep back in

Eager Expectations

Posted on by

???????????????????????????????Last week I took 18 month old Emerald to the beach, and though she’d been there last year as a baby, this time everything was new again. She experimented with different size shovels, enjoyed the toys we’d brought, and worked hard to stay upright on a steep dune. Best of all, though, was touching the sand.

She spent at least 15 minutes picking up fistfuls and rubbing it between her fingers, feeling its texture, watching it fall. Every so often she’d squeal, bubbling over with joy over this new experience.

This morning while reading from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest, God showed me how Emerald’s behavior at the beach paralleled what is supposed to be our experience as Christians. When she stands up in her crib each morning, Emerald has no idea what her day will bring, and it doesn’t bother her in the least. She has no expectations and approaches each day with eagerness.

Chambers wrote, “We do not know what each day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation.”

???????????????????????????????His point? No matter what uncertainties we feel, we can be certain of God. “He packs our life with surprises,” Chambers said. And this is where Emerald comes in. He referred to Matthew 18:3 (“Except you… become as little children”) when he wrote, “Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God but uncertain of what he is going to do next.” Emerald isn’t uncertain of Birgitta and her capable leadership, protection, and love. She just has no idea what it will look like on any given day.

We adults, however, often find that kind of certainty-in-God difficult to cultivate. It’s much easier to “sigh with sadness” when we can’t at least partially predict the future. This is the frustration Mary was experiencing when she couldn’t decide for or against chemotherapy. And it’s similar now as she approaches treatment. Will the side- effects be debilitating? Will I be able to participate in regular life? Will I lose my hair? Will the chemo kill the cancer? Will it add years to my life?

It seems incongruous to label cancer or chemotherapy “a life-surprise” since a surprise is usually good. But that’s how God wants us to see them.

???????????????????????????????If we’ve entrusted our lives to his care the way Emerald entrusts herself to Birgitta, we don’t need to know the specifics of what’s ahead.

As Chambers wrote, “When we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.”

Joyful uncertainty. Sounds like an oxymoron, but the Lord wants us to joyfully believe the certain things about him, and just let the rest go.

“The plans I have for you,” says the Lord “are plans for good and not for disaster.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a weight gain of 5 pounds!
  2. Pray for the decision about chemo location, which will probably be made on Wednesday
  3. Praise for good sleep at night