When Unnatural Becomes Natural

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Margaret

This week I’m writing from Florida, where I’m lending a hand to daughter Linnea and her family of six. Though I bought my plane ticket last October, I had decided to cancel my trip, wanting to stay close to my sister Mary as her cancer drama unfolded.

But she and Bervin wouldn’t hear of it. “Don’t call off your plans to help Linnea,” they said, ever-conscious of the needs of others. “You should go.” So here I am, 1600 miles from Mary, getting reacquainted with Skylar (5), Micah (4), Autumn (2) and Isaac (8 weeks). Despite non-stop action, my mind hasn’t been more than inches from Mary.

The other day I mentioned that to her. But ever-positive she said, “Enjoy all that youth down there!”

Last week when I asked if she was worn out after many of her adult children had been over for dinner she said, “It’s encouraging to be around their youthful energy!”

I admire her for her upbeat comments during a very down time. She could just as easily have said, “I wish I was young again, too” or “What I wouldn’t I give to have that kind of energy,” or “If only I was as healthy as they are.” But her positive comments give a glimpse into her intentional bright-side thinking.

When you’re born a natural worrier as Mary was, landing on life-positives and plugging them into the words you speak is no small effort. But as Mary’s example demonstrates, the more we work at what doesn’t come naturally, the more we succeed.

God asks all of us to do difficult things now and then. For example, he wants us to ditch unhealthy habits and establish healthy ones. When neither of those appeal to our stubborn wills, we rebel and say, “I can’t do that, Lord, because…” and follow that with lots of reasons why not. God sees that as an unwillingness to obey.

I’ve witnessed it repeatedly here in Florida. Linnea will say to Micah, “Two more minutes on the trampoline, and then it’s time to come in.”

“But Mommy!” he’ll say. “I didn’t have enough jumping yet! Skylar was bothering me! It’s not fair! I can’t come in! I have to do more jumping!”

Micah’s response to Linnea is much like ours to God. The only difference is we hide ours behind labels like “an expression of my opinion” or “a defense of my legitimate feelings.” The results are the same: “I won’t do it your way.”

Which is why I admire Mary so much. Years ago she made up her mind to look on life’s brighter side, putting away complaining and substituting gratitude instead. It was something God wanted her to do. After she’d worked hard at it for years, what was once unnatural became natural. And now it’s who she is.

Maybe that’s because whenever we willingly follow God’s instructions, he blessed us richly for it.

“Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Mary’s prayer requests:

Peace for her children and that they’d turn to God’s Word for strength and comfort
Praise for the flood of support and encouragement received through prayer, gifts, cards, calls, emails, visits.
Thanks for Bervin who is faithfully staying beside Mary through all of this. For peace and courage for him.

True Humility

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Margaret

God espouses the character quality of humility. He looks for it in his children but no doubt finds it far less frequently than he’d like. That’s because in our world, me-first trumps humility, which makes God’s values the polar opposite of the world’s.

Humility is an attribute developed in secret, and though we can’t actually see it, we have a sense of when someone is humble. It doesn’t mean being shy, or favoring the back row, or being a doormat. Instead it’s having an unpretentious opinion of our own importance, the opposite of pride.

Humble people are hard to find, but I’m fortunate enough to know one personally: my sister Mary.

Mary has been debilitated emotionally and also physically in recent weeks with the discovery of cancer in her system. Alongside these negatives, however, has been the positive outpouring of well-wishers and in particular, promises of prayer. When she talks about it, her eyes mist and she says, “I just can’t get over it! It’s unbelievable how kind everyone’s been.”

Last week when she said this, shaking her head in disbelief, I said, “People are simply responding to the many things you’ve done for them over the years. They want to help you, because you’ve helped them so much.”

And here’s the humble part. Mary looked quizzically at me and said, “But how have I helped anyone? I haven’t done a thing.”

When she said that, the book title “One Thousand Gifts” came to mind, a written list of God’s gifts to the author. But if I wrote a book about Mary’s giving it would have to be titled “Ten Thousand Gifts.” Or maybe “A Hundred Thousand.” All of her life Mary’s been a giver. Quietly, behind the scenes, without keeping track, without expecting thanks. Humbly.

And that’s why she can’t think of anything she’s ever done for anyone else.

Even now, while facing significant surgery, time in an intensive care unit, and a recuperation that will be followed by chemotherapy, Mary’s thought is, how can I shine for Jesus through all this. She wants to know how she can impact nurses, doctors, tech people, anyone who crosses her path, with the love of Christ. And because God wants the same thing, he will see to the details.

None of this means Mary isn’t tempted to fear the unknown or give in to doubt. Just today she wrote in an email: “I’ve hidden Scripture verses in my heart, and by His grace, I’m reminded of them when I need them most. I just need to believe them… totally… and not doubt.”

It isn’t easy being at the center of a cancer drama, but Mary is living it humbly by God’s grace, which will always be, he says, sufficient to her need.

“God opposes the proud but favors the humble.So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” (James 4:6-8)

Mary’s prayer requests:

For God to increase her faith when she feels weak or fearful
For his timely prompting of Bible verses she’s tucked away in her heart, whenever she’s discouraged
For childlike belief in God’s promises without a trace of doubt

Bulking Up

Posted on March 2, 2014 by Margaret

Most of us deal daily with pockets of excess built into our lives, areas we keep trying to temper with moderation but that continually plague us. One of the most common is overeating, which is the one that plagued me for many years. Actually it was decades. Never once was I told, “You really should eat more.” Such an assignment would have been a dream come true.

Conversely, my sister Mary has always been on the lean side. It wasn’t because she didn’t work to be that way, since she’s always been careful to control her diet. She has focused on eating the right things and limiting the wrong ones, faithfully refusing to eat in excess. Today, however, she finds herself in a new eating reality.

In recent weeks her cancer has carved her thin frame by about 12 pounds, and doctors have said, “OK. It’s time to bulk up.” She has two weeks till her Whipple surgery, and in that time her orders are to eat high-cal, no holds barred.

Though most of us would be thrilled with that directive, this time it falls flat. That’s because of the reason: her surgery will tax her system, and she needs to be fortified ahead of time as thoroughly as possible. Although the instruction to “eat as much as you can” would have been welcome months ago, now it doesn’t have much appeal.

But Mary’s doctors aren’t the only ones involved in her preparation. God has his own plans for getting her ready. While she’s doing her best to follow doctor’s orders in the food department, God is focusing on “bulking her up” in the hidden places no surgeon’s scalpel could ever touch: her mind, soul, and heart.

He’s doing that in myriad ways: through timely emails, through her children’s thoughtfulness, through mountains of prayer, through well-timed worship music, through people’s testimonies of life-saving surgeries, through Scripture verses coming at just the right times, through pictures and words from grandchildren, through her own moods, and lots more.

Though none of these could be labeled miraculous, the timing of how they’re coming to Mary is a wonder indeed. And that’s where God has shown himself, again and again: in the timing. Each “happenstance” sends the same message from him to Mary: “I’m right here.”

Only Mary knows how many of these well-timed gifts he’s given her and how frequently he’s rescued her. Much of it will remain secret between just the two of them. They are treasures the Lord has carefully saved to strengthen her exactly now, as she moves through these troubled times.

So, as Mary munches on a handful of caramel corn made by her daughter-in-law Emily, she’s working at bulking up her body. But she knows her greatest gains will not be on a scale but in the hidden “bulking up” that God is doing inside the rest of her.