Don’t be a sissy.

Back in 2004, I was sitting at the small kitchen table in Mom’s retirement apartment when she put a cookie in front of me, along with a cup of Sanka coffee. “Here,” she said. “Have a napkin, too.”

She handed me a luncheon-size napkin with a cartoon and a pithy saying on it. Two old ladies were sitting together on a park bench, and one was saying to the other, “Old age isn’t for sissies.”

Old Age

I chuckled and said, “Cute, Mom. Where’d you get these?”

“I bought ‘em myself, because that’s how it is.” She was 91 at the time and I was 58 – clearly a generation gap.

Now that I’m a dozen years closer to 91, I’m starting to appreciate Mom’s napkin philosophy. Some might say youth is wasted on the young, but the truth is, only the elderly have gained the courage and stamina to deal with old age.

IMG_5759Growing old gracefully is full of daunting challenges. Nothing but a lifetime in the School of Hard Knocks can prepare us to cope with the surprises that come as the years pile up.

The same is true in our Christian lives. God compares spiritual youth to physical babyhood. A diet of biblical milk is all we can digest, and anything else would be like trying to feed steak to a newborn.

Much later, as we accumulate more years of walking with God, we develop some spiritual teeth and begin tentatively sinking them into the harder parts of life. We learn to swallow small bits of biblical meat and receive nourishment enough to weather hardship.

Whether it’s physical or spiritual maturity, it takes time and experience to do life well. And when we’ve passed threescore and ten, living through the years after that requires spiritual muscle that can only come by eating the right diet… with or without a philosophical napkin.

“Do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” (1 Corinthians 14:20)

What’s happening with Mary?

Rosehill..It’s been 7 months since I last shared an update on my sister Mary and how she’s coping with her pancreatic cancer. With great joy I can say she’s still her same vibrant self, very much “in the thick of things” with family, friends, and ministries. But since readers are asking, here’s the latest.

She said, “Be sure to tell your readers that my blessings outnumber my difficulties, and that God surprises me with his tender care every single day.”

Mary is a realist and freely talks about her cancer and what it’s doing to her. The bouts of fever, nausea, and weakness aren’t the result of having a flu or of not eating properly. She acknowledges that they’re simply the calling cards of cancer. But she’s quick to say she feels tremendous gratitude for each new day God gives her.

Even as she’s thinking realistically about her Stage 4 cancer, she’s remaining future-focused. For example, she’s learning how to use the many features of her new smart phone. And she’s redecorating their Michigan home. And she has scheduled a date for cataract surgery. “I may be gone by then,” she says with a smile, “but I might as well try for better vision.”

Those of us who don’t have a life-threatening disease don’t know how it feels to have a doctor tell you, “We can’t do anything more for you.” Surely it’s tempting to become fearful or to panic, but Mary has refused to indulge in negativity. Actually, just the opposite is true – she keeps a running list entitled “The Benefits of Pancreatic Cancer” in a small 3-ring notebook.

Rosehill

On Memorial Day, our extended family made our annual visit to Chicago’s Rosehill Cemetery. After a discussion of the holiday, a couple of family quizzes, and a time of sharing, Mary’s grown daughter Julia said, “I’m just glad you’re still here, Mom. You’re such a good example to all of us, the way you’re handling this.”

Rosehill.That’s when Mary, moved by the Spirit, spoke some powerful words. “Lots of people tell me that,” she said, “but it isn’t really me doing anything special. It’s God inside of me just doing everything he said he would do, supplying supernatural peace in the middle of my cancer. He’s teaching me to trust him more and more and reassuring me that he’ll never leave me, no matter what.”

Mary doesn’t know what the future holds but knows Who has her future in his hands. And that’s good enough for her.

She’s appreciative of your prayers and has asked us to pray for her upcoming doctor’s appointment on July 19. No scans are scheduled, but she’ll have blood tests and will decide then whether or not to “sign off” with her doctor, since no further treatment is recommended.

Her other request is that we pray for weight gain. Though she’s eating well, her weight continues to drop, a result of the inefficient digestion common to cancer patients.

We’ll update you again a few days after Mary’s doctor visit – and maybe then she’ll even tell us what’s on her “Benefits” list.

“I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my song.” (Isaiah 22:12)

I stand amazed.

IMG_3834Emerald still has a fascination with bubbles. Every day she asks if we can blow them, and each time it’s as if she’s never seen them before. She “stands amazed,” which for her means an open mouth and a wildly-waving right hand. As bubbles swirl around her, joy bubbles out of her.

Once in a while, though, a stray bubble pops in the wrong place – not on her nose or forehead (which she loves) but in her eye. She crumples to the ground in tears, rubbing her face and hollering at high decibel. “The bubble hurt Emerald! The bubble hurt Emerald!”

IMG_3850Might there be a spiritual parallel to this soap-in-the-eye dilemma? We all say we love the Lord. We trust he’s telling the truth when he says he’s always working for our good.

So we pray and ask for things he’s encouraged us to ask for – protection from evil, strength to endure temptation, life-guidance through prayer. We have confidence in his amazing power and expect him to act on our behalf. Then suddenly a situation arises that makes us raise our eyebrows at him. We might be left unprotected and become injured; maybe we fail at resisting temptation and give in; or he might seem silent when we desperately need his help making a decision.

And suddenly our bubble of amazement pops – bringing a hurtful sting. Our faith crumples, and we cry, “Lord, you hurt me! You hurt me!” Who would stand in awe of that?

There’s a wonderful old hymn that includes these lyrics: “I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean.”

It continues: “How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be! How marvelous, how wonderful, is my Savior’s love for me!”

It’s easy to smile as we sing those words, nodding affirmation and feeling his love. But when life goes awry or gets really hard, our raised eyebrows quickly form a frown, and we feel like wagging a finger at God. Instead of amazement, we want to lay blame.

The truth is, we don’t understand why the Lord does what he does any more than Emerald understands why soapy water creates her beloved bubbles.

Bubble-ologyAnd maybe that’s exactly what’s at the heart of her amazement. Because she doesn’t understand it, she’s in awe of it. And though a bubble in the eye is a set-back, her fascination doesn’t diminish, and the expectancy of joy quickly returns.

Even as the sting lingers, she jumps to her feet. “More bubbles? More?” Her mouth drops open, her right hand starts waving, and once again she stands amazed.

Can we say the same about God?

They were completely amazed and said again and again, “Everything [Jesus] does is wonderful.” (Mark 7:37)