Category Archives: Suffering

A Concrete Solution

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Deck progressAs the days go by, our new deck grows. Most homes in the neighborhood already own good-looking decks, but this is our first ever, so watching it take shape has been satisfying. In a couple of weeks we’ll be enjoying it much like kids enjoy a tree house.

Our plan is to build a low-ceilinged room beneath the largest part of the deck, fully protected from the weather. Since we have no garage, this under-room will serve as a garage-sized shed while giving double-duty to the yard space already taken by the deck. Last week workmen poured concrete for the floor of this room, partnering it with 50 year old concrete that was already there and still in good shape. Watching the process was fascinating.

The truckWhen the cement truck arrived, it was too big to make the turn into our drive, so the men had to ferry the wet concrete from the street to the back of the house, one wheelbarrow at a time. Thankfully the “pour” wasn’t too big, and they finished quickly.

As they dumped their loads into the rectangular space, I was surprised at how full-of-chunks the cement was. Would our floor be made of sharp rocks? From my perch in the house above them, I watched carefully and finally went out to ask.

“It’s gonna be so bumpy,” I said, bemoaning the stony texture.

Bumpy cementGetting glassy“Just watch,” one guy said. “I’m gonna bring all the cream to the top. It’ll be so smooth it’ll be slippery.” That was hard to believe.

But sure enough, as he manipulated the wet cement with his tools, little by little the sharp rocks disappeared and glassy-smooth began to appear. A final step to put broom-texture on the surface changed slippery to safe.

Watching this transformation reminded me of how God works on us over time to smooth away our rough edges. Scripture calls it “purifying” or “refining” or “perfecting”.  The Lord starts with our coarse state of natural self-focus and prods us with the tools of circumstance toward refinement. No difficult experience is without his spiritual intention, and we’re given lots of opportunity to get the irregularities knocked off of us.

None of it feels good and can include anything from “uncomfortable” to “excruciating”. Mary is currently enduring a long refining process in her fight with cancer and chemo, putting her toward the excruciating end of things. Though she often seems already-refined to us, from God’s perspective every human being (no matter how godly) always needs more.

BumpsAs a reminder of this, I added a couple of “bumps” to the smooth surface of our new concrete: a 2014 penny to mark the date, and a beach stone to remind us that God always has more work to do in smoothing us out toward Christ-like-ness.

“Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” (2 Corinthians 7:1)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for a sister who faithfully sends out these prayer reaquests and keeps everyone informed about my situation.
  2. Please continue praying about feeding tube pain.

Silly Questions

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A shopping trip for a new outfit normally doesn’t escalate into touch-and-go excitement, but Friday was different. As I pulled into a parking space facing the big glass doors at Carson’s, a security vehicle screeched to a halt in front of me.

Security carOne man jumped out and ran at top speed across the lot and around the corner of the store. The other put pedal to the metal and screeched in the opposite direction.

Once they were gone, I went inside to start my hunt for clothes, but something funny was going on at the cashier’s desk. Authorities were quizzing two 20-something girls, when all of a sudden the man who had jumped from the security car burst through the double doors, flying past the cashier, the girls, and me, and disappeared into the store.

Later, questioning the cashier, I learned a team of 3 shoplifters had been foiled in their attempt to steal clothing. “They always work in teams,” she said. “One is the look-out, another makes a purchase to distract the sales staff, and a third heads for the door with the stolen goods.”

Security monitorsThis time, though, cameras had been following the girls as they’d moved through the racks pretending to shop. Something about the way they repeatedly glanced at the cashier, whispered among themselves, and showed signs of nervousness tipped off security. And as the girl with the clothing stepped from the store, those watching were ready.

Shoplifters are willing to risk arrest for one of several reasons: financial gain, rebellion toward authorities, or just for a lark. If this team of girl-thieves had known their every move was being monitored on closed circuit TV, would they have done it?

Silly question.

But maybe that question is pertinent for all of us. What do we do when we think no one’s watching? If we believe in God and his omniscience, that’s just one more silly question, because never is there a moment we’re not being watched.

And two more questions that ought to be silly but often aren’t: Since we know we’re being watched, does it make a difference in how we act? And if not, why not?

These would have been good questions for those 3 girls to talk through in reference to the eyes of security cameras before they attempted their crime. But it’s even more important for the rest of us to ask the same questions of ourselves, in relation to the eyes of God.

“God watches how people live; he sees everything they do.” (Job 34:21)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. I’m thankful for my week off of chemo, spending Monday with friends rather than at the hospital.
  2. I’m thankful for a weekend in Michigan and the vibrant green of spring.
  3. Please pray I’ll keep focused on God and his plans rather than my own

It’s time.

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This morning our pastor preached from the book of Ecclesiastes. He mentioned its reputation for being the most negative book in the Bible, partly due to multiple uses of the word “meaningless” in reference to life.

But there are a few bright spots, one of which is in chapter 3. Back in the 1960’s, a group called The Byrds sang a song written by Pete Seeger called “Turn, Turn, Turn.” It was a huge hit despite the lyrics coming straight from that chapter of Scripture.

Here’s verse 1:

The ByrdsTo everything, turn, turn, turn.
There is a season, turn, turn, turn.
And a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die.
A time to plant, a time to reap.
A time to kill, a time to heal.
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

The tune has three more verses, each right from the Bible, and audiences screamed with delight when The Byrds sang it. Of course most of those concert-goers didn’t know they were singing God’s Word.

I remember reading Ecclesiastes 3 as a new widow, focusing on two specific couplets: “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” For anyone struggling with a life crisis or even just a big change, these words bring good news. When I was deeply grieving, they validated my tears and sadness. They also assured me I would eventually laugh again, and even dance. All of that was great comfort.

ChemoThose same couplets can be applied to Mary’s situation, as well as several others: a “time to kill and a time to heal” effectively  describes her chemo. Right now she’s in the kill-phase, taking in chemicals that are lethal to cancer cells. Eventually the killing will stop and the healing will begin, encouraging words when she’s suffering through chemotherapy.

Another couplet she has surely considered in recent weeks is, “a time to be born and a time to die.” I remember when Nate got his diagnosis. The two of us spoke about this truth in factual, non-emotional terms, and I heard Mary talk about it the same way, just after she’d heard the words pancreatic cancer.

The whole truth, however, is that all of us should be talking factually about that line of Scripture. We’ve all been born and will all die. The bottom line for believers in Christ, though, is that there’s nothing to fear. We can talk about it all we want and never get emotional because we know what comes next: a new life beyond imagining.

Eccl. 3As the Bible says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Mary’s current season is “cancer and chemo,” but only for this time. Our hope is that the next season will be all about laughing and dancing.

“God has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)