Category Archives: Suffering

Lighting Up

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Last night as Jack and I took our final walk of the day, the skies were lighting up like I’d never seen before. Chaotic lightning illuminated only the tops of a wild-looking cloud cover that spread from west to east, bursting bright as much as remaining dark. Jack and I stood in one spot for quite a while, mesmerized by the dramatic display.

Lightning in cloudsLightning fascinates us because of its power, and most of us were raised to respect it. Dad told us never to run under a tall tree for shelter since “lightning searches for a way to get to the ground and will strike the highest point in its path.” We all took him seriously when he said, “Run home instead.”

As Jack and I walked along looking up, my mind wandered to biblical passages about lightning, and once at home I looked them up. It was fascinating to read about God “owning” lightning. He “scatters it” and “unleashes it” at will. Job 36:32 says, “The Lord fills his hands with lightning and commands it to strike its mark.”

I learned that God has control of lightning in a place from which he dispenses it and “makes the lightning flash.” I loved Job 38:35 that says all lightning bolts “report to him.”

Phone callAlthough most of us haven’t been struck by lightning, flashes of sudden bad news have hit us with the same kind of force, such as a cancer diagnosis or any other shocking surprise. When we first hear the words, whether in a doctor’s office, on our front doorstep, or over the phone, we feel as blindsided as if a bolt of lightning had gone through us.

RunningDad told us to “run home” when lightning flashed, and when unwanted news hits, we adults feel like running, too. But where? God has a place. He says, “Run to Me.” As in Proverbs 18:10: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.” Other translations say he’s “a strong fortress” or “a place of protection.”

In other words, as soon as a lightning burst of terrible news touches us, we should fast-dash to the Lord. He’ll tell us what to think when our minds are swirling and will give instruction on what to do, once we are in his place of emotional safety.

My mini-study of biblical lightning also let me know that in the end times, Jesus will return to earth with “an appearance like lightning.” And this: “As lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.” (Matthew 24:27)

Maybe the dramatic east-to-west display Jack and I witnessed last night was a preview of what the sky will look like when we see Jesus returning to earth! And after that, we’ll never be struck by bad news again.

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Praise for a Michigan sunset tonight
  2. Praise for a surprise in the mail, another well-stocked chemo care package, sent anonymously
  3. Pray for eyes to see the good in every day

The Chemo Room

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Mary is a trooper. She doesn’t complain and accepts what is. And what is, for now, is chemotherapy: every Monday for 3 weeks, then a week off, then another round of the same – for 6 months. That’s a lot of chemo and a lot of stress.

First there’s the anxiety leading up to the hours-long ordeal at the hospital. It isn’t that Mary is skitterish about needles. She’s a nurse by training and has never been squeamish. She bears pain well and gave birth to 7 babies without even a whimper. But waiting in the oncology department at a hospital? That’s rough, mostly because there’s SO much waiting.

IMG_6552Waiting to be tested, talked-to, tested again, given results, hooked up to an IV, and waiting through the infusion.  The system is first come, first served, and after each encounter with medical personnel, it’s back to the end of the line to wait again. Emotionally it’s difficult to pass the time in a crowd of very ill, very subdued patients.

Mary has come to terms with her cancer, but when she’s away from the medical world, she can set aside that reality for a while. Focusing on everyday duties common to people without cancer offers a respite from the exhaustion of pondering it all. But sitting in the chemo waiting room? That brings cancer front and center again.

And then there’s the infusion itself. It isn’t easy watching a bagful of poison drip into your system, especially when you’ve always been careful about what goes into your body. A chemo patient wonders: Will I be vomiting tonight? Or will the effects be minimal? Will I be too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed? And if so, will I be able to sleep? These questions press hard in the chemo room.

IMG_8395Because of all this, daughter Stina put together a beautiful tote bag with comfort-contents, things she thought might help her mom get through 18 chemo treatments: a blanket, reading material, cozy footies, ginger root for nausea, mouthwash, a special water bottle.

Last weekend our ladies group did the same, adding to Mary’s stash: ginger tea, body lotions, sea bands for nausea, a scented candle, snack foods. She may not use everything, but we’re hoping she can feel the love behind it.

IMG_1764(1)When someone has cancer, we’re not always sure what to do or say. Most of us are afraid of being insensitive without meaning to, or even causing offense. But Jesus has the instructive word on this: “Love one another.” We may not always do it perfectly, but because Mary is who she is, she receives what she’s given with joy.

And we hope she feels our love surrounding her…. even in the chemo room.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

Praising and Praying with Mary

  1. Continue to pray against nausea.
  2. Pray for more energy to help Stina with wedding plans.
  3. Praise for a quiet day of rest today.

New Hair

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???????????????????????????????Back in the 1960’s, I bought myself some fake hair. Junior year in college was an especially busy time, and the long “falls” that were popular then (think ponytails) moved hairdos away from high-maintenance curlers to insta-ready coiffures.

The “tails” could be worn long or curled around the top of the head for up-do’s. Many a morning I washed just my bangs, added the fake hair and went from wake-up alarm to classroom in 10 minutes flat.

???????????????????????????????As a newlywed I expanded my hair inventory with a pixie-style wig, a tight, cap-like affair that shortened my prep time even further.

Wigs can be a time-saving tool or, as in Mary’s case, a weapon against letting cancer dominate. Veterans of cancer are familiar with the radical ups and downs of treatment, its physical symptoms and its emotions. Mary has sampled some of that this week, feeling hopeless on Monday but hopeful on Tuesday.

Monday afternoon, in the middle of that deep low, she and Bervin walked into a wig shop near Mayo Clinic.  It’s a place that doesn’t  just sell wigs. The staff there provides gentle expertise and conversational comfort to each customer, well aware that none of them want to be there.

Though Mary had planned ahead of time to shop that afternoon, Monday wasn’t the right day for it. As she put it, “I couldn’t even look at the wigs without crying. The whole thing overwhelmed me, and we had to leave.”

Getting startedTuesday, however, was a different story. After the medical encouragement they’d received at the clinic, Mary wrote about “Wig Shopping, Part II.” “I praise the Lord I was able to put on a skullcap today and try on wigs. As I sat in the styling chair and listened to the Christian music playing, I was reminded of God’s presence being everywhere, even in a wig shop!”

We Christians don’t doubt God’s statement that he will always be with us. He said he’d never leave us, and we believe him. But after a down-day like Mary’s Monday, he knows we need a fresh reminder. And he brought it to Mary in the form of worship music just as she was muscling through a new and unwelcome experience. Our Creator has all kinds of ways to let us know he’s close at hand, and his timing is always spectacular.

Bervin's choiceMary and Bervin walked out of the wig shop with “new hair” for Mary, should she need it during her chemo. She said, “I let Bervin pick it out, and it’s pretty fluffy. I’ll definitely have ‘big hair’!”

The Lord said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)

 

 

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. For wisdom to know which Chicago hospital to use for chemo
  2. For improvement in food absorption that will lead to weight gain
  3. Praise for a good blood test result today, indicating no metastasis
  4. Praise for safe travel back and forth to Minnesota