Category Archives: Suffering

Setbacks

Posted on by

The last time my grandchildren were visiting me in Michigan, I found 5 year old Skylar rifling through my trunk of board games, looking for something to play. I hadn’t seen most of those tattered old boxes for quite some time, and they brought back memories of when our kids were young, though not always happy ones. I remember often saying yes to a game but only reluctantly: “Just one, OK?” (After all, some of them could last for hours!)

Chutes and Ladders boxOne of the games our little boys loved was Chutes and Ladders. With the spin of a dial, game pieces would move ahead one square at a time, starting at #1 and marching toward #100, where a Blue Ribbon was waiting.

The only trouble was, this was a game that might have no end. The directions read, “Ladders lead up only; chutes lead down only.” And if players landed on too many chutes, the game morphed into a marathon.

Chutes and Ladders boardReal life is full of chutes, too. We call them setbacks. It’s especially true if we’re already on a path to some kind of comeback. But no restoration process is without its backward slides, whether it’s a reconciling marriage, a rehabbing addict, a healing widow, or, as in Mary’s case, a recuperating patient.

 

For the past several days Mary has been harassed by sharp abdominal pains every time she moves. It seemed localized around her feeding tube, and after the experts unclogged that, they expected improvement. But the pains continued, and so an infection was suspected. Twenty-four hours of antibiotics didn’t help, so today she underwent a detailed scan of the area. Dr. Truty’s report was, “Everything looks good.” One possibility, he said, is bowel spasms, which should clear up on its own.

Mary had been “The Poster Child for Whipple Surgery,” both before and after. She amazed the doctor, the hospital staff, and all of us with her eager-beaver approach to regaining strength. Maybe that’s why hitting a setback isn’t just about pain in the abdomen but also about pain in her spirit. And when anyone experiences the double-whammy of physical and emotional pain together, discouragement can’t be far behind.

But Mary has maintained all along that her hope is in the Lord and his Word. As she says, it’s an anchor that always holds. No matter how dispiriting the circumstances, God’s promises remain true. They don’t get worn out, spoiled, or out-of-date, and neither does he. Her Father is partnered with her for the duration, and as she needs an increase in courage, stamina, and/or optimism, he will deliver. She’s counting on it.

UP to feeling betterThen, in due course, just like with Chutes and Ladders, she’ll find herself bypassing the chutes and landing on a ladder that will elevate her directly to feeling better. And we hope it’s very soon.

“Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the One I praise.” (Jeremiah 17:14)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For abdominal pains to cease
  2. For permission to return home by the weekend
  3. Praise for so much uninterrupted time with Bervin
  4. Praise for family and friends who faithfully pray without giving up

Slow…. But Sure

Posted on by

We live in a high speed world that demands we accomplish more in less time but get better results. This stands in sharp contrast to the way God works, and as Mary and the rest of us are learning, the way our bodies work, too: healing happens slowly.

Nausea has plagued her worse than the still-raw wounds left by Dr. Truty’s scalpel. It isn’t that the medical staff isn’t working hard to help her get better. Today, for example, Mary was visited by the surgical team of doctors, by multiple floor nurses, a few techs, several volunteers, and an impressive “pain management team” of three. All of them are trying to bring healing to her, listening closely what she says about how she’s feeling.

Nurse call buttonOur problem is we want her complaints fixed “yesterday”. It’s the same thing when Mary needs a nurse and pushes the call button. We expect she’ll come bursting into the room at a fast clip, 15 seconds after the light goes on. But though we sense we’re surrounded by experts, the machinations of a large hospital function painfully slow. The same goes for the healing of a wounded body.

photo(116)Since Monday night when Mary arrived in her hospital room after surgery (flashing a peace sign), several tubes, hoses, and lines connecting her to helpful machinery have been removed. This is tangible evidence improvement is indeed being made. Though her body still hurts, each day brings bits of progress.

And there’s a scriptural parallel to all this slow healing. God frequently uses the human body to picture spiritual truths. For instance, he parallels eye problems with the sin of judging others, and hearing trouble with a refusal to listen to his instruction. He uses the images of left and right hands to describe discreet giving, and compares different body parts to different spiritual gifts. He also labels the church a body, with himself as the head.

Mary’s slowly healing body can also represent something spiritual: God’s slow, gentle teaching to those who want to learn from him. Often he has to instruct us with the same lesson again and again before we get it. Learning takes time.

Occasionally we slip backwards, too, just like Mary’s body does. Her nausea may decrease while pain increases. Or cotton-mouth might improve with a spray, but the spray tastes terrible. And so we keep at it, in Mary’s case pushing the call button for help, and in spiritual matters calling to God for help in our Christian lives.

In both cases progress will come. Slowly, yes, but surely, too.

“Desire without knowledge is not good — how much more will hasty feet miss the way!” (Proverbs 19:2)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. For effective pain meds that don’t increase nausea
  2. For better nighttime sleep for Mary, and also Bervin (on a cot in the corner)
  3. Continued gratitude for so many people still praying for her!

 

Failing to Faint

Posted on by

Cancer is not for the faint of heart. When any major life-calamity hits us, we have several choices in the way we respond. We can flee, fight, or faint. Tomorrow morning (Monday) Mary’s doctor and his surgical team at Mayo Clinic will “put her under” and go through the complicated steps of something called the Whipple surgery.

SurgeryThese doctors and nurses are pros at this procedure and have done it many times.  Because Mary has been called “an excellent candidate” for it, the medical staff is confident she’ll get a new lease on life as a result.

They aren’t saying they can cure her, but they do label the surgery “curative”. My layman’s understanding is that after Mary has recuperated, she’ll feel cured. On a best-case basis, her cancer crisis will have all but disappeared, which sounds pretty good!

As with every cancer diagnosis, in the early days Mary was overwhelmed – faint of heart. But she refused to stay there. It wasn’t 24 hours before she’d pulled out her best weapons (God and his Word) and begun to fight, though what she chose to go up against wasn’t cancer but her personal enemies: fear, worry, doubt, and… faintness of heart.

Scripture reminds us in half-a-dozen places not to let ourselves grow faint, whether we’re facing surgery or any other crisis. It also gives us the how-to. Here’s one example: “Do not let your heart faint, do not be afraid, and do not tremble or be terrified because of [your enemies]; for the Lord your God is he who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies.” (Deuteronomy 20:3-4)

The Bible’s most frequently cited instruction on this is found in Isaiah 40:31: “Those who wait on the Lord… shall walk and not faint.” More than likely this is referring to walking through life without becoming faint of heart. Instead we’re to be confident in God’s ability to keep us from it.

Mary and BervinAs Mary is wheeled away from her family toward the O.R. tomorrow morning, she may be tempted to slip toward a heart-fainting, but if she does, she told me she’s ready with a secret weapon. She’ll follow our mom’s example. When Mom was faced with a similar crisis, she hummed a favorite hymn to lift her from a near-faint:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

After that, even as Mary sleeps during surgery, she won’t grow faint.

“The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.” (Isaiah 40:28)

Mary’s prayer requests several hours before surgery:

  1. Praise for so much loving support
  2. Praise for God’s wisdom that has come through prayer
  3. Pray for Dr. Truty and his surgical team
  4. Pray that Mary will be a good example of someone who trusts Christ
  5. Pray for courage to face the unknown