Category Archives: Suffering

Test of Faith

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CancerWhen a life-crisis comes, it can test a person’s faith. Such is the case with the crisis of Mary’s cancer diagnosis 5 days ago. The Bible tells us, “You will have trouble.” (John 16:33) And yet when it comes, we’re never prepared.

Or are we?

In that same verse Jesus is talking, and just before his warning that we’ll all have troubles, he says that even while we’re in the midst of them, he wants us to experience his deep inner peace. He says he makes “his glorious power” available to us to produce endurance and that we’ll be given as much as we need. (Colossians 1:11)

Even though Mary hasn’t known about her cancer for very long, I’ve glimpsed that “glorious power” at work within her already. I look back at texts from Saturday, that long, frustrating day she and Bervin spent in the emergency room, and see how she was suffering: high fever, a bad belly ache, and the sudden onset of jaundice.

CT machine

As doctors began a string of tests and hinted at what might be wrong, Mary sensed the day wasn’t going to end well. The two of us were texting off and on, and midday she wrote, “Don’t worry. Just keep praying.”

 

As the diagnosis came closer, she knew it was more than just a bad case of the flu but wrote, “‘Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice.’ I’m glad God is near.”

Between those words I could hear the Lord’s strength growing within her and knew he was preparing her for what was ahead. Three hours later she texted, “The Lord is near.”

Hours after that, just after she and Bervin had heard the words “pancreatic cancer,” she texted this: “I’m sorry for how this will affect you and yours as I walk down the same road as Nate. I know this is hard all around, but amazingly I’ve been at peace all day.”

Those were the words of a woman who had been supernaturally prepared by God to stand strong even in the face of cancer. One of Mary’s last texts on that awful day, coming after the diagnosis and well after midnight, was, “God is good.”

God is good.How can someone who’s just been told she has cancer actually believe God is good? The only reasonable answer is that he had personally prepared her ahead of time by strengthening her faith in him. Though she may not have felt it while it was happening, it was. She has always trusted God to do what was best, so he readied her for Saturday’s events.

That’s not to say Mary’s “trouble” isn’t going to be hard. The enemy of faith, the devil, is going to do all he can to make her miserable and shake her trust in God, but I believe he’s going to be sorely disappointed. This faith-test is only going to polish her into brightly shining faith-gold.

“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.” (Psalm 16:8)

Back to Zero

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ZeroMost of us think of zero as a big nothing. Emptiness. A non-entity. Blank. But in the last two weeks of staying with my daughter Linnea and her family, I’ve seen the immense value of zero.

Each night, just before the 3 older children (ages 5, 3, 1) had their baths, Linnea and Adam orchestrated a major overhaul of the house. Phase One included dinnertime clean-up of dishes, high chair, table, under-the-table, leftovers, and kitchen.

Phase Two incorporated the living room play area, sorting toys and putting them into their proper containers. It also meant vacuuming the carpet which somehow became cluttered with all manner of debris during a busy day.

???????????????????????????????Phase Three took place in the children’s bedroom where they all bunk together. Wall-to-wall toys, evidence of a day of creative play, had to be “binned” and lined up beneath the bed. Stuffed animals were gathered into a big plastic tub in the corner, and clean laundry was put into the proper drawers.

These 3 Phases sound complicated, especially since tired children are difficult to motivate, but the process is usually complete in 15 minutes. I watch and marvel as the whole house “gets back to zero.” It’s that magnificent zone of neat-and-tidy.

The people-parallel is obvious. Our lives can quickly get cluttered with debris of all sorts: the burdens of others we’re not meant to carry, unrealistic expectations of what we can accomplish in one day, over-commitment of our limited time or resources, anxiety over circumstances we can’t change. Everywhere we look we see disorder, and it can overwhelm us.

That’s when we need to initiate our own Phases One, Two, and Three. We can focus on the situation that bothers us most and start by tidying it up in small ways. We should think of it as working from the edges in, rather than redoing everything at once. By slowly tackling one area and then another and another, as time passes we can get back to zero-order in all the disorderly areas of our lives, freshening up our perspective.

???????????????????????????????At Linnea and Adam’s house, as we’ve sat together while the children slept, each night we silently appreciated a zero- cluttered house. In those precious moments, no one talked about how 3 imaginative children would be pulling out bins and baskets in a few short hours, leaving our orderly zero far behind. In those quiet, late evening hours, sitting in the midst of back-to-zero was deeply satisfying.

And if anyone tells you that zero amounts to a-lotta-nothin’, don’t you believe it.

“Be sure that everything is done properly and in order.” (1 Corinthians 14:40)

Comin’ Up!

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Having delivered 7 babies, I well remember the struggles of that last month. I was quite a sight in my snug maternity clothes, and comments from strangers in the grocery store didn’t help.

???????????????????????????????“My heavens! Are you overdue?” Or, “Looks like you’re carrying twins!” My favorite was the gasp of an elderly gentleman who said, “You look like you’re ready to explode!” I tried to view it as his way of sympathizing, though I did see him back up ever-so-slightly when I passed him with my shopping cart.

Our Linnea is currently in that self-conscious 9th month when the whole world feels free to editorialize. Actually, she’s in her 10th month, having passed her official due date several days ago.

9 months pregnantIt’s bad enough to feel uncomfortable, exhausted, and fat. But on top of all that misery comes the burdensome bob-and-weave of unpredictable emotions.

When a woman approaches (or passes) her due date, she can be just as surprised as those around her at the sudden weeping or flash frustrations. But the truth is, it’s hormonal, and it’s normal.

I remember being a week overdue with our first baby, Nelson, gradually accepting the fact (or so I thought) that the baby just wasn’t ever coming out. Tired of guessing if “tonight would be the night,” I felt better once I decided I was going to be permanently pregnant. And so goes the wild-‘n-crazy thought-life of a full term woman-in-waiting.

Sometimes those of us who are not waiting to give birth might have similar thoughts about another coming event, something many generations have been waiting for: the coming of Jesus. The Bible says he’ll return to our earth as the triumphant King of the World to set everything straight.

The second comingWhen I read today’s news and learn of the horrors in our world, I plead with the Father to orchestrate his Son’s return quickly, so people can be rescued from evil a.s.a.p. Though we know about some of the atrocities, there are many others going on in secret, even involving young children. And sometimes I wonder, “Lord, what are you waiting for?”

The only reasonable answer is that he’s hoping unbelievers will recognize the truth of his Gospel so they, too, will be saved. He may have other reasons, too, but whenever he comes, it will be “in the fullness of time,” his time.

For now, though, when I find myself crying for the sad, sometimes tortured situations of others, God reminds me of an encouraging statement he put at the end of the Bible. Jesus himself said it: “I’m coming soon.”

Meanwhile, in a couple of days I’ll be flying to Florida, bringing another pair of helping hands to my daughter and her family of about-to-be-six. And when I get my first look at her 10-month tummy on Sunday, I know the very best thing to say: “Honey, you look absolutely beautiful!”

“Jesus said, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.” (Revelation 22:20)