Category Archives: Suffering

Good Advice

Posted on by

If I were you, I’d…
I think you should…
You ought to…
You’d better consider…

Some people are always offering advice, whether solicited or not.

Nate never lectured that way, although he was always ready with an opinion if asked. I often went to him for counsel when I didn’t know what to do next. His head was regularly more level than mine, and I knew I could count on hearing ideas in a realm I hadn’t yet considered.

Recently a long-time friend sent me two letters written by Nate. He’d mailed them to her and her husband in 1986, and she knew I’d appreciate “hearing from Nate” now. These friends of ours were going through a financial squeeze much like we were at the time, and Nate had been touched by their plight.

The first letter’s purpose was to encourage them. He quotes Winston Churchill’s statement, “Never, never, never, never give in!” and refers to Roosevelt’s speech about trying valiantly rather than giving up without a fight. Nate wrote, “Tough as it is, it’s much better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.”

In four handwritten pages, he gives only two short sentences of advice: 1) Keep your attitude up, and 2) call me if you want some free lawyer advice on your lawsuit.

It warmed me to see Nate’s large, loopy handwriting again, although I used to fuss at him for not writing more legibly. But better than the penmanship was his message. I remember those days well, dark with worry and full of complaint. Nate was not only frustrated with his career plunge but felt like a personal failure to his family, which included six children at the time. Yet somehow he came up with four pages of uplifting words for our friends.

None of us can say why life has to include massive failures and disappointments. Maybe it has to do with our asking God to make us more like Christ. That doesn’t come without suffering or pain, and hardship gives us that chance. Of course we can become angry about it, but that’s hardly fair if we’ve asked for exactly such opportunities.

Trials push us to Scripture and prayer, which brings us closer to God. Coming closer to God results in rubbing shoulders with Jesus, which in turn makes us more Christ-like. What begins as harmful can turn out well.

In Nate’s second letter, he relates the details of his own struggle. I sense that writing it out long hand somehow helped him. Our financial future was spinning like a tornado, and summarizing it on paper seemed to bring a measure of calm into his personal storm.

He ends with an invitation for these friends (who lived one state away) to come and visit us, writing out exact driving directions to our house. Although this couple now lives four states away, we are still “close”…

…close enough for them to know how much I would love receiving two letters from Nate.

“You are a letter from Christ… This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.” (2 Corinthians 3:3)

Giving Her All, Part 1 of 2

Posted on by

Two days ago, Mary and I took the dogs to the beach as usual. It was a chilly, overcast day in the 40’s, and we were bundled in fleece jackets, long pants, socks and shoes. I had a down vest on, too, but was still cold. The stoning was good, though, and as the dogs romped, we walked the water line looking for treasures left by winter storms.

Suddenly, without our notice, an elderly woman appeared right in front of us, startling both of us. We’d never seen her before, and she presented a peculiar picture in a long winter coat, babushka and tennis shoes, dragging two half-full, black garbage bags along the sand, as well as a white plastic bag filled with paper trash. Though her steps were small and slow, she was bent with determination.

Because she walked directly up to us I said, “We’re collecting stones. What are you collecting?”

Without pausing as she passed she said, “Raked leaves. It’s easier to drag them on the sand than on the road.”

“Where did the leaves come from?” I said.

“My last job.”

“Where was that?”

“Up there,” she said, nodding toward the houses on the dune.

We walked alongside her, fascinated. “Where are you taking them?” Mary said.

“I’m going to stow my gear at my next job.”

“Where’s that?”

“Down that way,” she said, tipping her head toward the creek.

We reached for the heavy bags saying, “Let us help you.” But she yanked them toward herself saying, “No.” How could this woman, in her 70’s, be employed to rake leaves and dispose of them? It didn’t make sense.

Mary said, “You won’t be able to cross the creek today. It’s too wide and is over your knees. You’ll get your shoes and pants wet.”

The woman kept trudging along. “My feet are hot and could use a cooling off.”

She made it clear she didn’t want our help, so we found a spot to sit, waiting to see what would happen. Suddenly she dropped her bags and said, “I forgot my rake.”

Turning around, she slowly walked back the way she came, traveling the length of two football fields before disappearing in the bluff grasses. “I’ll bet she won’t be back for her garbage,” I said.

But 15 minutes later we saw her dark form reappear, heading our way. Sure enough, she was dragging an ancient rake with claw-like tines. When she reached her bags, she gathered them up with difficulty after adding the rake to her burdens,  and resumed her steady march toward the creek. As she approached the rushing water, she paused, struggled to raise her bags up high, then stepped in, shoes and all.

Half way across she stumbled and fell face-first into the water. All but the top of her rounded back went under, and she didn’t move.

(…continued tomorrow)

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” (Hebrews 13:2)

A Picture of Health

Posted on by

Today I spent a frustrating hour seated on a stool in front of a Walgreen’s photo kiosk trying to order prints. I had two cameras, two different sized “cards” and only minimal understanding of how to work the machine. One of the cards needed an adaptor, plus I had two different coupons.

After interrupting the cashier for help six times, I got to the end of my order and muffed the coupon screen. This time she said, “I think I’ll get the manager, even though he’s on his dinner break.”

I’d probably be the laughable subject in the break room later on, but I didn’t care, as long as I walked out of there with my pictures.

The manager was a tall, 30-something “kid” with a winning way. While working on my “case” he punched enough computer buttons to write a letter, but eventually we got it sorted, and I got my 25 free prints. We were half way through the money transaction for the rest when he noticed my name on the order. “Nyman, eh? We might be related.”

“How so?” I said.

“I’m relatives with lots of Nymans from this area.”

We chatted for a few precious minutes of his dinner break when unexpectedly he said, “My dad died recently.”

I was surprised but put my purse and pictures on the counter and said, “When?”

“Three days before Christmas,” he said, looking down.

“Oh my. That’s really recent.”

“Yeah.”

“What did he die of?”

“Pancreatic cancer.”

Suddenly we were related. I learned his dad had had only eight weeks and that a cherished uncle had also died just a few days before his father. As he talked, his face was pinched with grief, and my heart grew heavy for him.

When the conversation finished, I said, “I’m so sorry about your dad and your uncle.”

He bowed his head and muttered, “Thanks.”

Driving home I felt queasy. While growing up, I hadn’t heard much about disease and dying. Now it’s everywhere, which must be part and parcel of being 60-something. Yet this young man was only in his 30’s. My kids were young, too, three in their 30’s, three in their 20’s, one still a teen. Although friends prayed for their dad to be healed, Nate died.

God has been called the great physician, the miraculous healer. I’ve learned, though, that he usually sidesteps physical ailments to focus on healing hearts. Dr. Luke describes a moment when the Jewish leaders were criticizing Jesus for associating with sinners and eating with “the riff-raff.”

Jesus gave them a sharp response: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (5:31-32) His desire was to heal sin-sickness, because when that gets healed, eternal good health becomes a sure thing.

Today at the Walgreens counter, I wish I’d asked the young manager if I could pray for him then and there. People usually receive that gladly, and maybe it would have led to something significant.

Maybe I’ll take a few more pictures and head back to the kiosk with coupons that I’m not quite sure how to use.
“By his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24)