Category Archives: Teaching

Sneak Peek #24

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) learned about eating issues with one-year-old Marta. As a baby, then a toddler, she was a picky eater to the max. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her, because she refused to eat 90 percent of whatever I cooked. Though I tried every trick in the book to make food appealing to her, she just wouldn’t eat. Gut instinct told me it would be wrong to discipline her for lack of an appetite, especially since she was a sweet, compliant child in every other respect. But I didn’t know what to do.

Every Saturday morning I made Swedish pancakes for our family, and little Marta was willing to eat one of those. So I decided to make it my mission to produce Swedish pancakes every day of the week, just for her—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Because she needed calories, I substituted cream for the milk and went heavy on the eggs. It didn’t bother me that she wanted to dip her pancakes into a puddle of syrup. Anything to get her to eat.

She ate pancakes every day during those many months, and eventually she began tasting other things too. Had I punished her for refusing to eat, I don’t believe it would have helped in any way. It certainly would have made her dread family mealtimes and probably would have damaged our relationship. Today Marta is a healthy twenty-six-year-old with a normal appetite. And though she eats virtually all foods, she has a special fondness for Swedish pancakes.

SIDEBAR:

HOW NOT TO HAVE WHINE WITH EVERY MEAL

  • Set attainable goals for meals.
  • Serve foods your child likes.
  • Dish up child-size portions.
  • Keep mealtimes short and sweet.
  • Encourage new foods without forcing.
  • Praise a willingness to try new foods.
  • Expect childlike behavior from your child.
  • Never allow a whiner to ruin mealtime.

Sneak Peek #20

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

One thing both of us found helpful was spending time with a mother-mentor. Keep your eyes peeled for possibilities, perhaps someone you already know. A mentor should be a woman you admire for her Christian character and love of family. How does she relate to her children and to those of others? Ideally, she will be about a decade ahead of you in her mothering, although it can work with someone older too.

After you’ve chosen your would-be mentor (but haven’t yet approached her), dialogue with God about her. Ask several important questions: “Will this person be an encouraging voice for me? Will her advice be grounded in godly wisdom? Might she fulfill a counseling role in regard to my mothering problems? Does she have a sense of humor? Does she walk closely with the Lord?”

Once you’ve prayed about it, expect God to give you the answers to your questions, along with the “when” and “how” of approaching her. Many mature women are willing to meet with younger moms, but if they aren’t asked, they won’t initiate it. That part is up to you. 

It might seem scary to ask someone to mentor you, so just think of it as an invitation to one conversation. Our suggestion would be to avoid directly asking for mentorship. Instead, ask if she’d be willing to drop by for a cup of coffee some time. Offer a few possible dates and see how she responds.

You might say you want to “pick her brain” about mothering, knowing she’s a bit farther along than you. Then, if she agrees to come, have your questions ready.

“When you had a child the age of mine, how did you handle such-and-such?” or “I’m expecting our second baby and am worried I won’t love him as much as I did the first. Did you ever feel like that?” Ask her to recount her own mothering experience. She’ll be delighted that you want to know.

SIDEBAR: A GOOD MENTOR IS…

  • Experienced
  • Wise
  • Willing
  • Hand-picked
  • Seasoned
  • Godly

Sneak Peek #17

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Mary) used to volunteer for the local Meals on Wheels organization, packing and taking healthy meals to shut-ins. Though I’d wanted to do this from the time my children were little, I decided it would be too much to bring them along. Instead I waited till they were all in school. I could deliver the meals quicker that way and move on to the many other things I wanted to do.

Then one day, after collecting the packaged meals I was to deliver and shoving the overloaded bin into my car, I watched as another mom joined our crew of delivery ladies. She’d brought her two-and-four-year-olds along and was moving at their much slower pace. She handed one meal at a time to her little ones. “Carry this to Mommy’s car now. Be careful, because there’s a hungry lady waiting for us to bring it to her.”

The example of this woman patiently letting her children help with this worthwhile project impacted me, and I stopped to watch. It occurred to me I’d missed a golden opportunity to teach my children some great lessons by waiting to volunteer till they were all in school. Meals on Wheels would have been the perfect way to teach an important character trait: helping those who couldn’t help in return. And since most of the meal recipients were elderly, they would have been blessed to see the children. But I’d chosen to put efficiency above values, forfeiting that opportunity.

When you and your young children do things together, God counts this as “redeemed time.” Including the youngsters He’s given you elevates the activity to a level of His special blessing since you are joining with Him in acknowledging their importance. Children are little for only a short time, and those first five years fly by. So work to be deliberate about beating the clock, making that time count.

SIDEBAR:  A PEEK INTO YOUR PRESCHOOLER’S HEART

  • My universe revolves around me.
  • My world is often confusing.
  • I can’t trust everyone.
  • Sometimes I’m afraid.
  • A night-light is comforting.
  • My world is new and interesting.
  • I like to go along.
  • I learn fast.
  • I can’t verbalize how I feel.
  • I adore my mother.
  • I want to do what Mommy does.