Category Archives: Teaching

Sneak Peek #16

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Most young children are reluctant to end the day when it’s time to head for bed. Not only does it initiate isolation from other family members, it signifies putting toys away and ending playtime. That’s why children work to keep mommy in the room as long as possible. Unbeknownst to them, however, this strategy on their part becomes a powerful perk for mothers who want to take advantage of this tender time.

Your youngsters become especially warm to what you do during these moments, hanging on your every word. It becomes an optimal time to memorize a short line of Scripture or sing a song. I (Margaret) sang bedtime choruses to Nelson, our firstborn, starting when he was about a year old. As he learned to talk, he picked up the words, and by the time he was three, he had memorized (and could sing) fifty-five Sunday school songs.

These short choruses were full of God’s truth, simplified for children, and as the two of us continued singing, Nelson often asked questions about the words, attentive to my answers. Be sure to include a prayer of blessing over your child before you leave the room. God is there listening to you and loves to answer a mother’s heartfelt prayers.

These bedtime suggestions might sound elaborate and time consuming, but the whole thing can be done in just a few minutes. Think of it as the most valuable part of your routine, even more important than having a bath or brushing teeth.

As you step out of the room, along with your “night-night, honey,” conclude this time with something uplifting. “I love you very much, darling,” or “See you in the morning!” Staying positive is better than, “I hope you’ll do better tomorrow.” Try to express unconditional love . . . one more time.

SIDEBAR:  POTENTIAL FOR EVERY DAY

  • Hug your child.
  • Say I love you.
  • Praise your child.
  • Compliment your child for any job done.
  • Kiss your child.
  • Tell him you’re glad he’s yours.

Sneak Peek #6

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Little children give moms lots to complain about. They’re messy, loud, demanding, and needy, and that’s just on the good days. Coping with all of this is enough to send a young mom into a tizzy. I (Mary) am going to do a little true confessing here, sharing a motherhood moment I regret to this day, forty years after the fact.

Julia and Karl, ages three and two, were playing happily in the bathtub while I ran back and forth from the next room, working on a project and occasionally checking on them. When it was time to get out of the tub, I instructed them to put all the toys back into the basket, and then I went back into the next room.

When I returned a few minutes later, they had done just the opposite of my instructions. They’d thrown the toys (along with lots of water) all over the bathroom floor, laughing hard at their fun idea. Because it was an overfull day and I was rushing, my response was far from ideal.

I swung my leg back and kicked a plastic truck as hard as I could, flinging it above their heads into the tub wall where it broke into pieces. And it gets worse. Rather than remorse over my anger, my thought was, That’ll show ’em! And I felt really good.

But several hours later I asked myself, What good did that do? What did I teach them by losing my temper as I did? Though neither of them remembers the incident, I certainly do, and I wish I’d shown more self-control. I missed an opportunity to model a quality character trait: forgiveness.

SIDEBAR: CHARACTER TRAITS TO MODEL

  • Integrity
  • Cheerfulness
  • Kindness
  • Patience
  • Gratitude
  • Diligence
  • Perseverance
  • Optimism
  • Forgiveness

Sneak Peek #4

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Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

I (Margaret) recall a morning when our oldest three children were off at school and the younger two, Klaus and Hans, were ages two and one. After driving the carpool, I was having trouble tackling the breakfast dishes because two little boys were tugging on my legs, whining in discontent, and making me miserable. I felt like a tree they were trying to climb.

I’d done my best to distract them. “Look over there, Hans. Isn’t that your favorite truck? Rrrum-rrrum!” “Klaus, would you like an ice cube to play with? Here, have a whole bowl of them!” But nothing worked.

I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided to get down on their level to see what they were seeing. On the floor I knee-walked the length of the kitchen counter and back to the sink area, looking up. The problem was evident. My toddlers were trying to climb me simply because they couldn’t see what I was doing.

As they watched from below, they saw my arms moving and heard water flowing, but everything else was out of their line of vision. All toddlers long to participate in the activity at hand, so their low vantage point produced great frustration. Just to see if I’d been right, I put Klaus on a kitchen chair near the sink and plopped Hans atop the counter. Once they could see, the whining stopped, and both boys bubbled over with good cheer.

Of course no mommy can do this every time she does the dishes. But one way to succeed at mothering is to slow your pace to match your children’s. Maybe here and there in your busy life you can screech to an almost-halt and view life through their eyes. If you do, it’ll increase your willingness to include them in your work as it adds to your storehouse of patience.

My brief knee-walk gave me a valuable perspective on toddlerhood that I haven’t forgotten. Letting two little boys see what their mommy was doing put all three of us into the same slow moment. The boys appreciated it, and thirty years later, I’m still smiling at the memory.

SIDEBAR: A PATH TO SUCCESS

  • Partner with God.
  • Slow your pace.
  • Lower your expectations.
  • Cut unnecessary commitments.
  • Prioritize
  • Enlist help.
  • Find a mentor.
  • Enjoy your children.