Cancer–Plus and Minus

Fighting cancer can be a full time job, and it’s not just the many doctor appointments and tests. It’s also the drain of committing to battle the disease. A cancer patient can fight and fight some more, yet still lose ground. Determining to continue, then, can wear a person down till there’s no fight left.

Nelson has had his highs and lows during his war against lung cancer and was pulled into another low just yesterday. Without an end-date to the cancer, it can seem like it’ll go on forever.

He and Ann Sophie were tempted to cancel a doctor appointment with a new oncologist yesterday afternoon, hoping to take a little time away from thinking about cancer, but the staff persuaded them to attend.

As it turned out, it was God’s rescue from the low. Ann Sophie said, “The doctor was very positive and filled us with hope.” He told them that Nelson had lots of reasons to be stressed but that he was handling it well, better than most in his position. This was uplifting to hear.

Ann Sophie said the doctor looked a lot like Santa Claus and made her wish they could stay and have him read stories to them all afternoon. Looking back on the day, it was clear that just when they’d needed a strong boost, God brought Dr. Santa Claus into their day.

It turned out that Nelson’s albumin level was extremely low, causing him to feel worse than usual. The doctor recommended he take in as much protein as he can eat or drink, and then as time passes, his levels will slowly rise, making him feel much better.

Dr. Santa also schooled them in how to take the first immunotherapy drugs, which Nelson did last night. The two pills, which had arrived via FedEx (one needing refrigeration) were to be taken exactly 12 hours apart, two hours after eating. So Ann Sophie went to work on making a chart to help keep things well regulated. What a blessing she is!

Dr. Santa said Nelson should be feeling a little better even at the end of the first week—more encouraging news. And it’s no small gift that the nausea of chemotherapy is now in the rear view mirror. Nelson takes no anti-nausea meds now, after having needed them daily. This, indeed, is progress!

“Better is the end of a thing than its beginning.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

My Friend Nel

Growing up, I (Hans) viewed my eldest brother, Nel, as the biggest of my big brothers. We were nine years apart.

From my childlike vantage point he was an august and likable personality, though also somewhat distant and unpredictable. However, in time, I would go on to develop an enduring bond of friendship with Nel, a friendship that has proved to be one of the most formative relationships of my life.  

It happened that, after I had graduated high-school, I moved down south to study at Belmont University, which is located in Nashville Tennessee, a place where Nel lived at the time. It didn’t take long before, in addition to my studies, I was employed in Nel’s lawncare business on the weekends to earn some extra cash.

(L. to R. Nels, Hans, Lars, Klaus)

It was in this context – living far from my childhood home for the first time – mowing grass, sharing meals, telling stories, mowing grass, drinking coffee, listening to and talking about music together, and mowing yet more grass, that my friendship with Nel was sealed. In addition to working well alongside one another, we went on boating adventures, road trips, we camped, and generally held court in all sorts of places together, animatedly discoursing about all sorts of subjects with mutual delight.  

Nel and I have quite different personalities. He is naturally intrepid, practically minded, with an aptitude for logistics, and restless for motion. I am naturally more contemplative, a reader, cautious, imaginatively minded rather than pragmatic. However, we do share our family upbringing and a common Christian faith.

Also, we both were born with minds that just about never stop thinking and we process externally, having the habit of ‘test-driving’ our thoughts and feelings aloud in the process of working out what we believe and how we should live. Apparently, a measure of difference, mixed with some similarities and shared experience, is a sufficient chemistry for a good friendship. 

On account of Nel, I was encouraged to make the move away from home and grow in independence as a man. Nel listened to me and showed me respect. Nel trusted me, as a 20-year old, to run his lawn care business for a month whilst he was travelling in India one summer. It was on the strength of Nel’s reputation that I got a job back up North after leaving college.

It was Nel who, through his travelling stories, encouraged me to look to the horizon and consider the big wide world out there, full of different people from other cultures with different customs and histories. It was Nel who told me about YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and encouraged me to seek God by giving it a try (I met my English wife in New Zealand doing a Discipleship Training School and we now live in England with our six wonderful children and have been happily married for fifteen years– thanks Nel!).  

Nobody asks to be born. God determines it. We simply find ourselves, having been born, alive in a particular family embedded within a wider cultural context. Yet, the scriptural narrative is that God’s love abounds to all people and that he is reconciling the world to himself in Christ. Moreover, this amazing work of God is carried out amidst the familiar personalities and routines of our lives. I can attest that God worked graciously in my life through Nelson as a part of his story of redemption, and continues to do so. 

“[God has] determined allotted periods and the boundaries of [peoples’] dwelling place[s], that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:26-27)

Ready, Set, Go…

All systems are GO for the immunotherapy, and the first two potent pills will arrive at Nelson and Ann Sophie’s apartment via FedEx on Tuesday. Nelson will have to wait for the official go-ahead from his medical team, based on how his daily health monitoring is going, but in every way possible, he’s ready.

Ann Sophie is still draining his left lung daily, yesterday getting 700 milliliters, which is a lot. But the good news is that his right lung, which used to be of significant concern, has dried up completely. Cancer cells there are not producing any fluid—a dramatic change from the preceding five months. The team has talked tentatively about removing the drain catheter from that lung, which sure sounds like progress to us!

Nelson’s limbs are still swollen with fluids, but some of that is due to the clot. Doctors have said it will take three months or more for the large clot to begin to dissolve, if the blood thinners are working. We’ll have to be patient.

Today Nelson’s brother Hans, who is in the States from England with his family of eight, is on his way from Michigan to Minnesota. He’s looking forward to spending a little time with Nelson, with whom he is very close. There’s nothing like a bout of cancer to make us all value our relationships more than ever before. And amidst all the hard stuff that’s  happening every day, that’s a really good thing.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)