Category Archives: Thankfulness

What’s to do?

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When a family member learns she/he has cancer, those who love her are willing to do almost anything to help. But short of encouraging words and prayer, there’s not much to actually do.

That’s why something like a 5K run/walk to benefit cancer research feels good. It’s something we can do.

A bunch of Mary’s family and friends showed up at Chicago’s lakefront on Saturday, despite icy winds and temperatures in the low 40’s for this year’s pancreatic cancer walk/run.

The walk-runThousands of other participants beat us there, a mob of cheerful people among whom were 249 teams running/walking for someone they loved who’d been touched by pancreatic cancer. Many team names had their loved one in them: Robyn’s Cancer Kickin’ Crew, or Rich’s Rebels Against Pancan, or Mark’s Miracle Walkers.

Other team names were mysterious and intriguing: Land of the Kings, Peanut Heads, Polar Express.  Some were more obvious: HugSomeoneYouLoveToday, and WeLoveYouDaddy. Most participants were wearing purple, including tights or tutus, purple hats, boas, necklaces, or sparkly purple face masks. We saw purple-flowered leis, purple back packs, and purple painted faces.

In the opening ceremony, the MC reminded the whole mob why we were there: to raise dollars toward a cure for pancreatic cancer. But it was much more than that. Such an event fosters courage and offers encouragement to those among the purple throngs who were in the midst of their cancer battle, even some who had tangled with it and survived to “walk/run another day.”

End pancreaticOur Mary was there, too, cheering on “her people” and hostessing lunch when it was over. Some of our team performed valiantly. Son Luke came in 3rd out of thousands, and that while pushing his own son in a jogging stroller. At the other end of the spectrum were those of us sheltering babies from the cold wind, some of us using a car as a warming room.

All 25 of us benefited by being able to do something to fight the enemy of cancer, and it was especially meaningful to do it in honor of Mary, who very likely will benefit from what science is discovering.

Marchers for MaryAny health crisis is an opportunity for loved ones to circle the wagons and draw close to each other, and this weekend’s 5K was a chance to do that.

God has allowed pancreatic cancer to enter our ranks for reasons unknown to us, but what we do know is that he doesn’t allow calamity without attaching blessing to it. Saturday’s 5K was an opportunity to show family-and-friend-faithfulness by doing something for Mary…. which was a blessing indeed.

“The fruit of the Spirit is…. faithfulness.” (Ephesians 5:22)

Mary’s Prayer Requests and Praises

  1. Praise for a meaningful weekend with family
  2. Praise for so many people willing to run/walk at the 5K
  3. Continue to pray for this week’s choice of chemo hospital
  4. Pray for pre-chemo strength and continued weight gain.

Party Time

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Night skyGod gives each of his children gifts, everything from a new day to a good night’s sleep. He gives relationship gifts like love and harmony, and physical gifts like homes, food, and security. He gives the gifts of opportunity, confidence, and freedom. He gives providential meetings, coincidences, and something we call happenstance. And there are others.

He also gives spiritual gifts, at least one to each of us. When we dedicate them to his purposes, he usually gives us more.

My sister Mary has used her spiritual gifts to benefit others, and as a result she’s been given many, one of which is hospitality. For as long as I can remember she’s been the hostess-with-the-mostess, happy to welcome people in. Her hospitality also goes out, in the form of food, flowers, gifts, and hours of service to anyone in need. Whenever a list is circulated asking for sign-ups, Mary’s name is on it.

Dinner...One of her (and Bervin’s) regular in-house gigs has been to invite their own grown-and-gone children back for dinner once a week. Naturally those living at a distance can’t make it, but for all those local, the welcome mat is out. Table talk is lively, and the evening ends with group games. The single guys appreciate a well-balanced meal, and the girls profit from watching a pro at work.

Several of my Chicago-based grown children have been on that regular guest list too, and I’ve appreciated Mary’s extra motherly care of them from my post in Michigan.

Catch PhraseThe week Mary was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (mid-February), this group of 20-and-30-somethings had come over as usual, gobbling up pork roast, scalloped potatoes, asparagus, corn, tossed salad, and apple pie. Afterwards it was girls-against-the-boys playing the word game “Catch Phrase,” and Mary participated with her usual enthusiasm. That dinner, though, was her last hostessing for a while, since her focus was then pulled to hospitals, doctors, tests, and surgery.

Yesterday, thankful to be back in her own Chicago kitchen and feeling a bit better, Mary hosted a dinner for this same group of “kids”.

Dinner timeWhen I asked if she might be overdoing it she said, “It was so much fun setting the table again.” Not too many post-op patients are willing to make a meal for 10 big eaters. In God’s economy, however, when we use our gifts, we experience delight, not drudgery. Mary couldn’t wait to get at it.

photo(110)The guests ate heartily of Mary’s spaghetti casserole, but of course Mary didn’t get even one bite. Surely it’s difficult cooking for others without sampling, especially when your taste buds are calling loudly. But her body can only handle liquids by mouth and formula by feeding tube (see back pack). If all goes well, next week she might be given permission to introduce soft foods to her personal menu,

maybe even a bit of spaghetti casserole….. after it’s been enhanced by a blender.

“Be… hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.” (Titus 1:8)

Mary’s Prayer Requests

  1. Pray for weight gain (still stuck at 109)
  2. Pray for Mary to “fix her eyes on Jesus” more and more
  3. Praise for the blessing of Moody Church (and its radio broadcast this morning)
  4. Praise for a good weekend visit with Marta and her safe travel from Arkansas and back

You didn’t ask.

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FOBMary and I share the same taste in movies. High on our list is a set of clean-cut family films, Father of the Bride I and II. Tonight as Mary and I talked on the phone, a line from the second movie was rolling around in my head.

Nina and George, a middle-aged couple trying to cope with life’s changes, decide to sell their spectacular big home. Both are deeply attached to it but think a new place might bring a fresh start.

Immediately after selling, they learn their buyer is about to raze the house and build two in its place. George plants himself between the house and the wrecking ball, determined to save “his” home.

Mr. HabeebWith great alarm he says, “You didn’t tell me you were going to destroy it!”

Mr. Habeeb (the buyer) says, “You didn’t ask.”

*             *              *              *              *

 

There’s no way we can think to ask all the important questions in life. Had George thought to ask, he wouldn’t have sold.

In the last 40 days, Mary and Bervin have been bombarded with medical information, and at the end of each instruction they’ve been asked, “Do you have any questions?”

Most of us are overloaded at moments like that and usually say, “I don’t think so.”

Isn’t it nice to know there is a place without any pressure to ask the right questions? It’s in our relationship with God.

He says a time will come when he’ll send answers to our questions before we even ask them, and Mary and Bervin have experienced that already.

photo(118)For example, yesterday Mary’s feeding tube clogged. Despite Bervin’s mechanical know-how, he couldn’t get it functioning, and Mary was without nutrition for 24 hours. So today they headed back to the hospital for a repair or, if necessary, a painful surgical procedure to correct the problem.

Despite a valiant effort on the part of two “tube experts,” the flow remained blocked, and over hours of time, Mary was admitted and prepped for the procedure. At the last minute, however, a new tech appeared. “Let me try,” he said, and all of a sudden the tube cleared.

How often is a patient told, “You can climb off the table, ditch the hospital gown, and get dressed.” Mary and Bervin hadn’t asked God to spare her from the procedure, but he gave that anyway.

In another example, just before Mary transferred from the hospital to the hotel last week, a 30-something man with a serious infection was rolled into the room across the hall. A sad young wife and the man’s troubled parents told Mary this was his 4th surgery in a short time, and stress was running high.

As she sat in her empty room awaiting discharge papers, she wished she had something to give them. Just then a gift was delivered to Mary’s room, which she immediately shared with the folks across the hall. She hadn’t asked, but God had answered.

In Father of the Bride II, Mr. Habeeb gave George’s house back to him, but not before George had emptied his bank account. But our generous God delivers his positive answers…. without charge.

“I will answer them before they even call to me.” (Isaiah 65:24)

Mary’s prayer requests:

  1. Praise for the friendly competent staff at Mayo’s
  2. Praise for the cleared tube and aborted surgery
  3. Pray the change in formula will bring relief from abdominal gas pain
  4. Pray for serious weight gain, now that Mary is down to 109 lbs, at 5’7”.