Accident Prevention

Posted on November 13, 2012 by Margaret

After making 6 errand-stops this afternoon, I was finally heading home on an expressway when the familiar red and blue flashing lights of police cars ahead made me think, “Oh oh.” Driving closer, I counted 7 squad cars plus several emergency vehicles and tow trucks clustered around an accident scene in the median. The centerpiece of the commotion was a giant upsidedown semi-truck.

The three lanes on my side of the highway didn’t slow while passing the chaotic scene, but on the other side, with lanes partially blocked by the accident, cars and trucks were stopped for miles. And because of a wide curve on the highway, most of those stuck in traffic couldn’t see the reason for the delay.

They couldn’t see the flashing lights or the overturned truck or the cadre of highway workers trying to bring order. Drivers who were stuck in the jam-up but short on time were no doubt frustrated at the forced rescheduling of their plans and were probably hoping that at the end of the whole mess there would be someone to blame.

As I continued driving past the long lines of congested traffic on the opposite side of the road, it impacted me that I’d seen the accident they hadn’t yet come to, so I knew something they didn’t. The cause of their holdup wasn’t lane closures or construction or line-painting but a life-and-death disaster, immediately ahead. I also knew that no matter how irritated these drivers became while waiting to move forward, once they’d inched ahead enough to get a look at that heap of twisted metal, their anger would melt away.

Coming in its place would be a series of rapid-fire questions: What happened here? Where’s the truck driver? Is he alive? Was anyone else hurt? Or killed? What if I’d been driving a few seconds earlier? Would I have been in that accident?

These would be important questions to ponder as they’d get their first glimpse of the accident, gaping at the wreck. By the time they would have passed, their “What’s the delay?!” would have switched to “Oh my goodness!” maybe even landing them in a place of gratitude for their own safety, hopefully gratitude toward God.

None of us should be without a steady heartbeat of thankfulness toward the Lord. His rescues are consistently happening, even if we’re unaware of exactly what he’s saved us from or how he’s done it. To be sure, though, he is preventing mishaps and tragedies by the dozens, over and over again, every single day as we move through our regular routines.

And today I was reminded that once in a while he even lets us in on the specifics, as he did with the highway accident. The fact that none of us were in it should automatically make us truly thankful.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly… with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)

Hi Midge: from Birgitta

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Margaret

As my children continue to weigh in on how they’re missing their father, below are a few thoughts from our youngest. Although Birgitta is 22 now, she was still a teenager when her father died, and because of that she’s grieved in a way different from the other six. Not knowing anyone else her age whose father had died made for a unique sense of isolation as she tried to adjust.

Here is her response to my recent inquiry about the 3^rd anniversary of Nate’s death:

Hi, Midge,

Thanks for your email. I appreciate your sensitivity to us and how we’re dealing with Papa’s death, even 3 years later.

I think my grieving has progressed from dwelling on regrets and loss to appreciating the man Papa was and all the blessings he left us with. Of course there are still sad, difficult days, and I always think of November 3rd as one of them.

Papa feels especially distant this year, and I think my having a baby has been a big part of that. My whole life has been reshaped by Emerald, and he has been gone since long before her arrival. I think this is a very difficult and lasting consequence of losing a loved one. I don’t, however, want to discount his presence in my heart and mind as I’ve gone through and continue to experience life-changing moments.

I want to find a healthy balance between living in a world without Papa’s physical presence while carrying him with me in other ways. I think Papa’s absence has also led me to seek out a father/daughter relationship with God. And that is a continual process just like dealing with Papa’s absence is. I also think it has made me more aware and appreciative of all the relationships in my life. There’s a lot to be thankful for.

As you said, God has blessed our family exponentially. And He will continue to! Love you, Midge.

Love, Britt

* * * * * * * * * * *

God deals with every individual one-on-one, because every set of circumstances and responses is unique. I’m especially thankful for this quality in the Lord, since grieving is such a personal thing with each person requiring a different form of tender help from him.

Hearing from my children as we begin another year without Nate has been a comfort to me, especially seeing how God has partnered with them along the bumpy way. As our heavenly Father steadily assures us through his Word, He is very near.

“[God] is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist.” (Acts 17:27-28)

Hi, Mom: from Hans

Posted on November 7, 2012 by Margaret

We [son Hans and his family of 5, living in England] remembered Papa on Saturday evening, ordering in dinner, and chatting about that evening three years ago when he left us on earth and went home to Christ. For his arrival in Heaven we are grateful and are looking forward to seeing him again when our time comes, but in his absence from the earth, we miss him very much.

Like I said to you on the phone the other day, I long to be able to exchange thoughts and words with him more and more as I cope with walking by faith, working to support my family, and being the head of a household. I admire what he did as a father and the many sacrifices he made for us, and the care he displayed to us all.

I think of him in little things – like when we got little Fizzy, our precious feline, and the way he used to like putting hats on our cats and dressing them up! I think of him when we are getting everybody suited up for church each week, or when I come home from work in the evening and greet my little family.

I remarked to Kate the other day that the smell of Johnsons baby shampoo brought back strong memories of Papa for some reason. When I thought about it, I realized it was because he did our bath-time routine, just like I do with my kids, and I still connect the smell to him from that time.

I recall many memories of my father as I ‘go through’ these experiences on the other end, as the Dad. I recall how big his hands seemed when he signed something for us for school, and the loud laugh so completely his own, such a wonderful trademark of his. All my friends would always smile when they heard it for the first time, and every time after that. It was impossible not to join in when he started!

All my friends took a liking to Papa. He would take an interest in them and ask intelligent questions (sometimes too intelligent) and was non-judgmental, accepting even the rag-tag characters who stumbled through the door with us.

I found a note from Papa just last week, God’s timing:

It says, “Written on airplane, 4 – 13 – 09, Hans + Katy + Nicholas – Thanks so much for the airport run and the coffee and the baggage handling. It means a great deal to me. You have that blessed little treasure Nicholas. And bless you for dedicating him to Christ! You are doing life correctly! Our stay was absolutely wonderful! You and all the Mills are great hosts! Love, Papa/Nate.”

What a wonderful encouragement to read that from Papa these 3½ years later. The airport run, and coffee at Costa (Nelson, Papa, and me) as we awaited his departure flight, and baggage handling (because his back was troubling him).

This was the last time I saw Papa until he was close to the end of his life. He was classic Papa, and Nels and I sat with him at the coffee shop for a while, just chatting before his flight. I recall Nels remarked that it seemed a poignant time, because usually Papa was pushing the schedule forward, but on that occasion he was uncharacteristically laid back. When we kept suggesting it was maybe time to go, he’d say we had a little more time.