Category Archives: Thankfulness

A Good Name

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In cleaning off my Microsoft Word files, I came to one “doc” I’m saving: “Business people tell about Nate.”

Everyone who has a job outside the home works hard in ways his family may never know. Our young children used to think their Papa rode the train for a living, since that’s where we saw him off in the morning and greeted him again at night. But what did he really do all day?

Simplifying the answer for a child was difficult. He worked in an office using pens, paper, a computer, copy machines, a phone. But what else did he do?

In recent months, other people have been answering that question for us. Since Nate died, we’ve found great joy in reading stories that clients, other lawyers and business associates have sent to us. And now we know what Nate really did all day.

Although Nate would be embarrassed by this, here’s a sampling:

  • ”I met Nate a little over 10 years ago, when he represented my husband and me in a law suit against the people who reneged on our house deal, leaving us homeless with a baby on the way. The other side figured out a million ways to drag the suit out for years. In all that time, Nate never wavered in his commitment to our case or us. He was both patient and tenacious, and with that soothing voice of his, he could always convince me everything would work out okay. I will always be grateful for his kindness, support and concern. The world has lost a hero.”
  • ”One day I was looking for a good real estate attorney. Subsequently, I was introduced to your husband by your brother. I soon discovered that I’d been introduced to not only a great attorney but a good person. Nate and I quickly became great friends. We had many early morning conversations about many things – his family, his church, politics, etc. I was profoundly saddened by the news of his passing.”

  • ”As a business associate back in the 1980’s when Nate was in the apartment business, I remember him as one who consistently conducted his business at the very highest level of integrity, something which is lacking today on the part of many people.”

  • ”Nate set a great example with his work ethic and his positive approach to life. Always such a gentleman. On a personal note, most lawyers probably don’t continue to have a good relationship with the party on the other side of a divorce. He was kind and understanding, and it made a difficult situation much easier for me. That was years ago, but I have not forgotten.”

  • “Mr. Nyman was incredibly kind and helpful to me and my husband at a time when we really needed someone to be in our corner. I recall how much he loved his family, which he mentioned several times during the course of our meetings.”

  • “Nate will be remembered for his intellect and wit. He was a man of principle in a world of dying principles. Nate was a man you could trust. He affected all those he did business with, with honor and grace. He will be sorely missed by many who enjoyed his company.”

  • “I first met Nate when I was a law clerk. Although I only worked with him for a brief time, I cannot tell you the impact he had on my budding career. I cherished the times we got together in recent years and often reflect back on his unique personality and his approach to practicing law.”

  • Nate was a Christian, a lawyer, a man of political interests, the father of a large family, and a wonderful example to me. He showed that these things could be done and done well. I think most important was his demonstrated ability to get back up again after being knocked down hard. The fact that he was in his suit, at the office, at a time when his illness was so advanced his doctors were astonished he could do such a thing, showed how devoted to providing he was.”

And these are just a few…

”A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.” (Proverbs 22:1)

Focal Point

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All of us know a hostess with the mostest. These are the people who thrive on entertaining and happily do the work of pulling together an event for their guests. It’s delightful to be invited to one of their gatherings. As a result of careful attention to detail, guests feel welcome, sensing a certain eagerness on the part of the hostess.

Once the guests are called to the table, they can expect a feast for the palette and also for the eyes. Every good hostess appreciates the opportunity to display a dramatic centerpiece on her table. Her creative arrangement becomes a focal point for those seated around it and usually summarizes the theme of the evening. She decorates the rest of her table based on her choice of centerpiece.

She might choose a floral arrangement or a candle display. I’ll never forget a bridal shower with a beach theme and an artistic centerpiece of shells, starfish and sandals scattered over an inch of white sand. Anything goes, according to the whims of the hostess.

Occasionally a centerpiece will be so large guests can’t converse over it. Although the impression is dramatic, the result is side-to-side conversation rather than round-tabling one topic together. When this happens, a good hostess will remove her centerpiece, because bigger isn’t always better.

The most impressive centerpiece I ever set up was a display of candles in painted Swedish holders. The holders were made of wood, and while we did the dishes, they caught on fire. Before we noticed, flames had burned through the tablecloth, the table pads, the table itself and the rug. It definitely qualified as a dramatic centerpiece.

Although not all of us can be extraordinary party hosts, we do each choose a centerpiece: it’s the focal point around which we gather all the parts of our lives. Yesterday at the beach I watched a massive yacht cruise by, no doubt someone’s life-centerpiece. Other focal points might be a dream home, a fulfilling career or a certain person, possibly a child.

I‘ve been thinking about Nate in this regard. Although he was my “other half” and an everyday partner in my life, he wasn’t my centerpiece. Had he been that, his death would have caused me to push back from the table and exit the conversation of life. And that’s probably true of any centerpiece we choose. Once it disappears, we have trouble participating.

Moving forward is only possible if a new focal point is quickly established. Or we can choose to focus on the only centerpiece that can never disappear – Christ Jesus. He has been, and will continue to be, my life centerpiece. Without him, I’d feel like a guest at the table who’d been excluded from the conversation.

Nate often said, about someone enjoying one of life’s richer experiences, “He has pulled a chair up to the banquet of life.” With Jesus as our centerpiece, the banquet can be rich indeed. And he manages this even without the dramatics of a centerpiece bonfire.

“Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17)

Perfection

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It’s hard to be perfect at anything. No matter how we try, our efforts are flawed. But when I was a kid, I got to be perfect at one thing: Sunday school attendance.

In the ‘40s and ‘50s, our church involvement went well beyond sitting through one hour-long worship service. Sunday school came before church, followed by a “fellowship time,” followed by “real” church. Since my family lived in the Chicago suburbs and Moody Church was in the city, we left home early and returned mid-afternoon, often heading back later for an evening worship service.

Nevertheless, many of us chased after perfect attendance. If we ventured out of town, a diligent search was made for an acceptable local church to attend. And it wasn’t good enough just to sit through a church service. In order to get attendance credit with our home church, we had to be present at a Sunday school hour, too. Then we proved that by bringing home a note from the vacation Sunday school, preferably written on their church letter-head.

If we successfully attended Sunday school for 52 weeks in a row, we received a gold and enamel brass bar attached to an attendance pin. Each new year came with a fresh chance to win another bar.

Although some Sunday school attendees continued to pursue perfect attendance even after high school, most of us figured going off to college closed the door to any additional bars, which is not to say we didn’t remain at least sporadically faithful anyway.

What made us want to attend Sunday school every single week of the year? In the beginning we were obedient little children just following orders, but that evolved into the fun of coming together with pals, which then grew into forming long-term friendships (and quite a few marriages).

As small fry we also loved the flannelgraph Bible stories and the teachers who taught them. During our teens we were coaxed to ponder life’s hardest questions and watched closely as our leaders lived out their faith in front of us. Many of us still point to these Sunday school teachers and youth pastors as important mentors in our lives. They encouraged us to “walk the high road” rather than take the easy route with instant gratification.

But the #1 motivation toward perfect Sunday school attendance was all about a person… actually three people. As we showed up week to week, we grew to know and love (1)  God our heavenly Father, (2) Jesus our personal Savior and the mysterious but powerful (3) Holy Spirit who, amazingly enough, was willing to live within us if we asked him. And because of these three, we learned that in God’s hands, even life’s negatives eventually yield blessings.

Whether or not we find perfection in any category on this earth, the Trinity has offered to provide eternal perfection to all who believe. And we don’t even have to attend Sunday school to get it.

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of [Christ’s] return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)