Category Archives: Thankfulness

A rocky road

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oct092My sister Mary and I love rocks. Beach stones, to be specific, from the shores of Lake Michigan, our childhood hang-out. There is no end to the variety of stones that appear on the sand day after day. Each is striking in its beauty, and no two are alike. In our opinion, a pendant made of a beach stone ranks right up there with a “real” jewel.

Mary and I are in our sixties, but we still get that same childhood thrill when we find pretty stones. Handling them is a stress-reducer for sure, and we look for excuses to do so. We’ve glued them on picture frames, mirror frames, candle bases, centerpiece runners, bird houses, flower pots and clocks. We’ve backed them with magnets for the fridge and have filled crystal bowls with them.

Last week Mary found a new way to use our stones. The morning after we learned of Nate’s pancreatic cancer, I was standing at the kitchen sink, a million miles away in my mind, when I spotted a pink beach stone on the counter. It was the size of a fifty-cent piece and had writing on it: Isaiah 26:3-4.

I knew immediately it must have been Mary’s doing. Here’s what the reference said:

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusts in Thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.”

With my mind in a whirl that day, those verses slowed me down and gave me something constructive to do: attach my thoughts to Lord Jehovah.

Two days later, a yellow “butterscotch” stone appeared, this one on the bathroom sink. Psalm 16:7-8:

“I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

A few days after that, I found a third stone next to our computer. Psalm 9:9-10:

“The Lord will be a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble; and those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” 

This afternoon I found a fourth gift from the beach, a stunning piece of beach glass, rare because of its large size and aqua color. Beach glass is difficult to find anymore, since so many bottles are now made of plastic. But on this beautiful piece was written another Bible reference, Psalm 40:1-3:

“I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he has put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.”

With her Scripture rocks, Mary has found a way to link earth and heaven, thus helping us sort out the dilemma of having one foot in each place. The stones and beach glass help to pry our attention away from pancreatic cancer and attach it to the one who has the keys to life… and death… the foundational Rock, Jesus Christ.scriptue rocks

Making friends with a rock

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As we drove toward Chicago for radiation #8 today, Nate’s cell phone rang repeatedly. Each call was from a client. I listened to his end of the conversations while the miles ticked off on our familiar route. Suddenly I noticed something strange. Instead of answering legal questions, he was answering personal ones.

“Well, it started in the pancreas. Yes, radiation. Probably chemo. Not for a few weeks. No, not that bad.”

One after another, business acquaintances called to express concern for Nate, and it dawned on me that during his 37 years of lawyering, many of his strictly-business clients had become good friends. After discovering his diagnosis, they were now checking in. I marveled that he had an entire circle of support I knew nothing about.

Last year Louisa and Birgitta were waiting impatiently for Nate one Sunday morning after church. Brunch was next on the agenda, and they were anxious to get to it.

“Where’s Papa?” Birgitta asked.

“Oh you know him,” Louisa answered. “He’s probably chatting somewhere with someone he never met before. He could make friends with a rock.”

I loved the creative way she complimented her father’s interest in conversing with people. His favorite subjects are history, politics and current events, but it doesn’t stop there. He’s fascinated by the stories of people’s lives and has an uncanny ability to remember the details they offer.

This afternoon, on our return car trip, Nate was extremely tired. The doctor had increased his radiation and added an x-ray appointment afterwards. When he was finally settled at home in his lazy-boy, he breathed a sigh of relief and began opening the mail. In it was a letter from an office colleague who loved teasing him because he loved teasing her back. She’s a woman who’s fought her own battle with cancer and can honestly say she understands.

She wrote, “This place isn’t the same without you here. Everyone asks about you all the time. You are always in our hearts. There aren’t words…”

The letter said other important things too, each line a proof of friendship. Although Nate’s day included many low points, these business friends buoyed him greatly through their calls, cards and a powerful letter. It even gave me a boost as I watched this phenomenon unfold.

As for making friends with a rock, that turns out to be a pretty good idea:

“I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.” (Psalm 18:1-2a)

A message from Nate

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Blogging now stands for what used to be called stream-of-consciousness writing, so here it is. My Mom died at 91, Dad at 76. I am 64, and at noon on 9/22/09 a team of highly respected doctors told me I might have less than six months to live. My parents got more decades of life than I ever will, but I am grateful that during my six decades I’ve enjoyed good health.

It’s really not about how many years a person gets. Rather its how we use the ones we have. It’s not about the number of candles on the cake but rather how good the cake tastes.

During these last two weeks, many thoughts have crowded my brain. First came numbness, then pain. I’ve thought about finances for the family, and also about my own uncompleted work. I also pondered soul-issues. In addition, many of my life goals will remain unreached, although I know now that some of them were unattainable anyway.

The family I’ve had has contributed strongly to the quality of my life. I’ve also had many opportunities, such as attending college and law school and participating in the military, that others haven’t had. I’ve been able to attend the best churches in the country and have been taught by the greatest preachers.

I enjoy a personal faith in Christ, especially now, despite the circumstances. I have assurance that it will all work out for good, eternally. (Romans 8:28)

If I could sign on a dotted line to get out of this, my pen would already be out of my pocket. But that isn’t reality. In the end, it all boils down to two things, just as the old hymn says: trust and obey. Apparently this is God’s will for me, and I accept it.

“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus…” (Hebrews 1:1b-2a)