Category Archives: Thankfulness

Nelson’s journal 5/4/22  

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Nelson has always loved working on cars and trucks. When he was 16, he traded lawn care services to a man who offered to pay him by giving him an old run-down Jeep C-5 that wasn’t working. Nelson was thrilled and worked on it in every free minute. It wasn’t long before he was running around town in it.

In Hawaii, he’d done something similar, finding an old pickup that didn’t work and striking a deal with the owner to buy it—for $700. There was no bed in it, and it lacked many other things too, but Nelson was thrilled to once again be working on a vehicle in his spare time.

Once he got it going, he decided to paint it bright blue. I happened to be out in Hawaii then, anticipating the baby’s birth, and the two of us had fun painting it together.

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May 4, 2022 

Sitting here with Baby Will getting ready for a Skype call. Annso sleeps. She does all the heavy lifting at night, which I’m super grateful for. I’ve been feeling better each day with my rack of drugs, Elvis-style, to get this Thyroid thing under control.

Really thankful for the free health care we have here in Hawaii. Sometimes feel like we are too well-off to have it, but the cost of living is super high here, and God knows I’ve paid my share of taxes over the years. When it works out in your favor once in a while, you might as well take it with a happy heart. That’s the way I see it now.

Sold the Robin Egg Blue truck today. Now we have a few more bucks for our Summer RV. Actually got $3000 for it. I was beginning to wonder if I’d get my money out of it and break even, but God is super nice to me and sent me a nice guy who bought it.

Also, today I found out that I don’t have Graves disease, more than likely, according to the number in my blood work taken by the Doc in HNL [Honolulu]. He said I have some sort of release of hormone caused by an auto immune failure or something. He called it  Thyroiditis.

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“God is able to make all grace abound to you…” (2 Cor. 9:8)

Nelson’s journal 4/26/22  

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The ongoing sleeping/eating challenges with Will are here pre-empted by Nelson’s health issues and his escalating pain. Sadly, the medical community is still focused on it being a problem with his thyroid gland. If only that had been true….

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April 26, 2022 

My sickness still rages on in the form of a really intense dry cough and pain in my whole chest, top to bottom. Mostly that’s it, aside from being pretty tired all the time. I feel like I could lie down and sleep anytime, even right after getting up and drinking coffee. Even coffee has lost its luster, so to speak. Hard to swallow.

Right now I’m listening to Will scream it out in the next room. We had a really nice morning together so far, but it goes south whenever it’s time to eat or sleep. Once we get to that point, I try to feed him, which increases his irritation, then eventually swaddle him and cuddle him to sleep.

But once he’s in the crying mode with me, he’s not going to settle, so there’s just one other option. That’s to try to get him comfortable and put him in the crib. Then it’s up to him. After that, it’s usually complaining-crying until he goes into full “billy-goat” screaming mode. Right now, I’d say there’s a 10% chance he goes to sleep, but usually Mama will awake and rescue him. She has what he wants and can usually calm him, unlike what I can do.

I’m proud of him though. We visited the doc first time yesterday, and he came in at 90% for his age in weight and height. Doc said he looks and sounds great. We have our issues, but Annso is the eternal optimist, and that’s our saving grace most of the time. Attitude is everything.

There is a picture on the wall from Samuel that says, “For this child I have prayed.” It’s a great reminder about the miracle he is. I’m excited that he keeps growing and even though people say, “Don’t wish the time away or rush through it,” I’m not much into the newborn stage, I have to say. He’s adorable, but there are so many times when I have nothing more I can do and it’s just screaming, which has all this failure and guilt attached to it for me.

I try not to over-think it and just be thankful for who he is and what we have. I’m excited that at some point, maybe I’ll be healthy again and be able to lick this Thyroid thing, even if that means getting it removed. I don’t want to lose my voice box or any other disaster that might happen in a surgery. I wonder, does it shrink down if they just “kill it” like they talk about doing?

All I know is, this is no kind of life I live now. No exercise, very little joy because of the constant pain and fatigue of the whole thing. I know what it must feel like to be 90 years old. Super tired and lots of pain in the body all over the place.

 

But I’m excited about our trip to the mainland to camp our way across the US in our RV, the one we don’t yet have. I’m working on Ebay and Cragslist to see if I can’t get a good one.  

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 “The God of all comfort comforts us in all our troubles.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Nelson’s journal 4/19/22

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Through the laptop keyboard Nelson wonders what it’s like to be “good salt and a bright light” in the kingdom of God. He also wonders if it’s possible to schedule a one month old child. On top of all that, he’s thinking about moving a short distance away from the crowd of Kokua Crew workers. That way his family would be slightly less around-the-clock available.

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April 19, 2022    

I just got Will back to sleep. 5:45am. We’re trying to get him on these morning and afternoon schedules. But he’s barely 1 month old, so we are told to let it slide (as if we have a choice), but you can push pretty hard for what you want.

I’ve come so close to moving to Kama Aina Hale [a neighboring subdivision that would put a short distance between Nelson’s family and the big Kokua Crew], but never really got around to it. Maybe when we get back from our Summer trip we can move over there and be less bound [24/7] to Kokua Crew. It would be nice to be involved in a different way than the way we are now.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:13-16)

Am I a light of the world? Is that how someone would describe me? Is the light of Jesus shining off me? Is he shining through most Christians (or people who claim to be)?

I’m reading the book, Hawaii by James Michner, and most of the missionaries’ kids became greedy and got involved in business and getting as much land as possible, not to mention that it belonged to the Hawaiian people. It eroded their own character, going after the money like they did.

They were no different than their pagan counterparts. And if they are not different, then are they even Christians in anything more than word? Are we anything more than that? I think we are. At least my wife is. We pray. We seek you, Lord, but are we after the money too? Do we act honestly all the time? Do we let money get out in front of doing the right thing?

Jesus says, we are the salt of the earth but that it’s possible to “loose your saltiness” and become worthless. “You are the light of the world.” Would he call me the light of the world? What am I doing that would set me apart from the darkness of the world and say I am the light or I am the salt?

It’s not by works lest any man should boast, but there should be signs of being a Christian for sure. How does a person lose their saltiness? They probably fall asleep spiritually and just cool off. That’s the biggest danger over a big fall I think, getting comfortable and lazy, not knowing anything is even wrong and being worthless in the kingdom of God.

How does a person avoid that? Fasting maybe? This comes right after the Beatitudes. Jesus describes a Christian in that progression we are familiar with, then reminds us not to “loose our saltiness.” I pray for a tender heart and to be more kind, etc. I’m not sure having a child does that. I love him but don’t have a problem letting him cry it out. It’s what works, and I’m for good results.

The last thing I want is a soft, high maintenance kid who expects everything brought to him on a sliver platter. Does that sound like compassion? Does it sound like love? I hope so. Here I am, missing the Tuesday night meeting to watch him, which has been a challenge. Annso is at the meeting. It’s one of my dreams about having children, not having to go to meetings if at all possible.

I always envied Ad Curington [brother-in-law], who would be watching a few kids while the rest of us got dressed up and went out to a formality. I thought, “What a smart man. How did he line it up like that for himself?” Now I have that too. 😉 Now I’m a “smart man.”

Finally caught up on my to-do list. It’s nice to sit here in the quiet. Had another batch of blood work done today to check in about my thyroid and see where I’m at. I’ve had more blood taken in the last couple months than in the whole of my life combined before that. It’s been a season of sickness mixed with fatherhood. So far, the whole time I have been a father, I’ve been pretty sick feeling. It was almost seamless, the transition.

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“Do not be discouraged. The Lord your God will be with you.” (Joshua 1:9)