Best and Worst

It’s been a year of non-blogging for me, since other things have taken precedence. Although much of 2020 offered up negatives, our family can also report a big 2020-positive. My 15th grandchild, Elias, was born.

This little guy arrived before his due date—well before. At 7 weeks premature, he was expected to need lots of assistance from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, but he surprised us all. Though he weighed only 4 pounds 3 ounces, he was in great condition and hung around the hospital for just 18 days.

The nurses were impressed with his fast progress, marveling that he never even needed oxygen. Now, three months later, his development is right on schedule, evidenced by his crinkly-eye smiles and lots of direct eye contact.

His diligent parents, Louisa and Teddy, are delighting in this wondrous 2020-positive.

 

 

 

No year, however, is without its negatives, and 2020 delivered a big one to our family. My brother Tom and his wife Leslie were both killed in their own home by an intruder, a shock from which all of us are still trying to recover. The mystery remains unsolved, and our hearts are broken.

On Friday, a new calendar year begins—day #1, week #1, month #1. None of us knows what will happen on the 364 days that will follow, though we’ll probably try to guess. But as my mother used to say, “God only knows, and he won’t tell.”

So how can we move into the new year with confidence when so much is uncertain? There’s only one way—to believe that our omniscient God will tell us everything we need to know, when we need to know it. And all of it, what we’re surmising and what actually occurs, will be coupled with his promise that he’s got the whole world in his hands. That means we as his children have nothing to fear.

As hard as it is for us not to know what’s ahead, we should remember that in every year, there will be negatives but also positives. Our best bet, then, is to simply trust God, leaning on his power and wisdom instead of our own.

“Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Hebrews 10:35-36)

Sneak Peek #21

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

Whenever you’re struggling with loneliness, remind yourself that your children are priceless gifts from God, and He is highly invested in your efforts as a mother. He stands ready to help meet your needs, whatever they are. All you have to do is speak to Him, tell Him what you’d like help with, and He’ll deliver it.

Once in a while He’ll even meet a need through the children who are making you feel isolated. I (Margaret) remember a time when my fourth and fifth babies were ages one and two. As I reached into the dryer to pull out clean laundry, they stuffed it back in. If I folded a shirt, they snatched it off the pile and shook it out. When I wasn’t watching, one of them would climb inside the dryer and sit on the clothes.

None of this was earth shattering, but not being able to do my work that day put me over my tipping point. Out loud, through sobs, I said, “Lord! It’s not like I’m asking to read a magazine or take a bubble bath! I’m just trying to fold laundry!”

My two-year-old sensed trouble and immediately wrapped his pudgy little arms around my leg. “Lubb-ooo,” he said in a soothing tone, looking up at me. He tried to comfort his mother the only way he knew how. It worked, and I could smile at him through my tears.

For all I knew, it was the Holy Spirit himself who spoke through little Klaus that day, because his “lubb-ooo” was so effective. God knew my need and met it well. Let God know what you want Him to do for you, and He’ll help you in some very creative ways.


SIDEBAR:

WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS IN MOMMY

  • Get up ahead of your children.
  • Ask your husband to help in one specific way.
  • Pencil in some mommy time.
  • Resist feelings of guilt for time alone.
  • Nap with your little ones.
  • Talk with another mother.
  • Hum a tune.
  • Enjoy a hearty laugh.
  • Listen to worship music.
  • Go to bed earlier.

Sneak Peek #18

Excerpt from THRIVE AND SURVIVE, ZERO TO FIVE

The uniqueness of children is one reason they fascinate us. Some are malleable, like peanut butter. Others are unbending, like peanut brittle. Such radical differences definitely make your job more difficult, and you long for even one way you can treat your children the same without doing damage to somebody. Is there such a thing? The answer is yes.

One thing all children need equally is a mommy who’s glad to be with them. During the early years, they can never get enough of you, and seeking your attention is their way of asking, “Do you still love me?”

They want to know, “Do you love me when I’m acting out? When I’m dirty? When I’m loud? Sick? Disobedient? Messy? Tired?” They’re also interested in the flip side: “Do you still love me when you’re tired? When you’re sick? When you’re working hard?” And they hope for a yes every time. Raising children presents never-ending challenges, but as you do this important work, always remember: peanut butter and peanut brittle both taste good.


SIDEBAR: WHAT NOT TO SAY TO YOUR CHILD

  • Why can’t you be like your brother?
  • You’re a bad girl.
  • You don’t measure up.
  • You’re too big to wet your pants.
  • There’s nothing to be afraid of.
  • Sometimes I don’t like you.
  • You aren’t as valuable as your sister.
  • I don’t know what to do with you.
  • You do things wrong.
  • Just wait till your daddy gets home.
  • I knew you would make a big mess.
  • You are hard to love.
  • You’re a disappointment to me.
  • I wish you’d never been born.