Newlywed Love (#79)

July 19-25, 1970

Nate and I were happy to spend some weekend time washing and waxing our sleek, black Mustang with the terrible “bad breath” — hopeful that its handsome appearance would sell it quickly. It was enjoyable working together on a project that didn’t involve mental strain, since it seemed like all we ever did was study.

Mustang grill

I felt overloaded with student teaching, seminars, and homework, but once Nate got deep into his law classes, there was no comparison as to who was busiest. He won, hands down.

Mom's letterAfter we finished the car, I opened a long letter from Mom, thanking us for their time in Champaign. She also wrote about Mary and Bervin getting a dog, a Cocker Spaniel. Rusty and Baron were becoming friends, and Mom wrote two paragraphs describing their antics.

As I read the letter, a new thought came. Did they really want to keep Baron for us, or were they just doing it as a sacrificial favor? Were we taking advantage of them by asking them to keep him?

Mom wrote, The Baron is A-OK, tearing up a box right now in the basement here. He brightens our lives.

But I pictured Mom, on her hands and knees, cleaning up shredded cardboard and I had my doubts. I knew she worried about Baron running off when they were outside and had no good answer for what they would do with him if they went on vacation.

And all of a sudden I began to cry. Nate came running and put his arms around me. “What’s the matter?”

Tuckered out Baron“I feel guilty that Mom and Dad have to keep our dog. They have to feed and house him, watch over him, and she just wrote that they took him in for his first round of puppy shots. We should be doing that.”

“Yes, but your mother really does love him – genuinely.”

“I know, but it isn’t just that.” And through tears I began remembering aloud all the ways my parents had helped us – going along with our rushed wedding plans, accepting Nate with enthusiasm, providing furniture, rugs, virtually everything in our apartment.

My familyThey had loaned us money, which moved my thoughts back to the cost of my college education… and so much more. I thought of my childhood as I grew up in an atmosphere of listening and love. Best of all, they had introduced me to Jesus Christ from the beginning, modeling lives committed to him.

As I sat with Mom’s letter in my lap and Nate’s arms around me, I sobbed and sobbed, overwhelmed with how much I’d been given and wondering if I had taken these gifts for granted. Did they know how much I appreciated everything? Had I thanked them enough?

Nate suggested I put all my thoughts into a long letter. “It’ll make you feel better to write it, and they’ll love receiving it.”

He was right, and I began. But even as I penned page after page of gratitude, my thoughts were on the Baron-dilemma.

“If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you.” (Ephesians 6:3)

Newlywed Love (#75)

July 6-10, 1970

As Nate and I adjusted to life without our little “fur-pants” (Mom’s nickname for Baron), we begged Mom and Dad to bring him for a visit the very next weekend. But they were busy people, and the best they could do was 2 weeks hence.

That was good enough for us, something grand to anticipate. Mom described how she and her new little buddy were happy companions, going everywhere together. She bragged about him as if he was her child, and we loved knowing she was enjoying him that much.

Newspaper readerNate registered for two difficult summer school classes, and that same day got word back about another job – a 55-mile rural newspaper route. The boss promised he would earn $100 per week [equivalent to $25 per hour], and we were over-the-moon about it. We couldn’t believe that each hour he worked would earn as much as donating a pint of blood!

There were several conditions:

  • He’d have to use his own car, adding some serious wear and tear with the endless stops and starts.
  • He had to report to the newspaper office by 4:00 AM each day to fold and rubber-band papers, so they could slide into country mailboxes.
  • All the papers had to be delivered by 6:00 AM.

DQBut Nate had always loved newspapers, and the job seemed to be a good fit. It wouldn’t interfere with his classes and would be the steady income we needed. He didn’t hesitate to agree to the conditions, and we celebrated with Cathy and John by making a quick trip to Dairy Queen.

Life was looking up, and even my summer school was getting easier. Surprisingly, I found myself learning more than the students through my endless reading and planning each evening. And I was getting excited about trying out new educational ideas on my own students, come September.

Though we missed our darling doggie, it helped to know we would see him soon. In his absence, something interesting was happening between Nate and me.

CrazinessWhen Baron had been there to entertain us, we had focused together on his silly antics and drifted away from “entertaining” each other. But without him around, we resumed getting silly all by ourselves, just like we used to do. This focus-change was deeply satisfying to both of us.

I journaled about my renewed joy in him:

Married life is so beautiful, I keep wondering when each new day will cease to be neater than the one before! When I wake up each morning and look at Nate next to me, I about giggle with delight at seeing him there and being able to snestle with him right then and there. He’s so good looking and always so fresh and clean —

Happy journal

Nate's noteNate (Poopsie to me) began thanking me for everything from my still-strange cooking, to cleaning the bathroom sink, to washing his underwear, to sewing on a button. Married life was good indeed.

“Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” (1 John 3:18)

Newlywed Love (#72)

June 27, 1970

Nate and I had had 2 rough weeks experiencing the stress of no income and summer school/student teaching adjustments for me. When Saturday finally came, we decided to escape from it all – just for a few hours.

The sunny, warm weather invited us out to play, so we packed a picnic and drove the half-hour to Allerton Park. Though we weren’t sure about dogs being allowed, we took Baron along anyway. He had never failed to win the hearts of everyone he met.

Allerton, one areaAllerton Park has been described as “a vast prairie turned into a personal fantasy land of neoclassical statues, Far Eastern art, and huge European-style gardens surrounding a Georgian Revival mansion.” *

We had explored the estate’s 1500 acres enough to know how not to get lost, and loved the surprises hidden on the grounds. Just when we thought we’d seen every piece of sculpture, each garden, and all the unique oddities on the property, we would come across something new.

Allerton..

Allerton factored into Nate’s and my relationship almost from the start. It was a peaceful place where two people in love could spend time together, whether walking through dense woods or on manicured paths. We had our first serious talk about our relationship on one of those walks, and on another one, explored the possibility of marriage for the first time.

The manor house was gorgeous, and we wondered aloud what it must have been like to live in such a place. The owner, Robert Allerton, had many homes and owned one of the largest Chicago hotels, so when he didn’t need this one anymore, he donated it to the University of Illinois for retreats and study.

Allerton_House(Photo credit: D Finnigan – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18609642)

On this day, feeling depleted, Nate and I were looking for privacy and carried our blanket, picnic supplies, and doggie a long way from the mansion. We were looking for a giant meadow that had a dense forest on the other side of it, because we knew that deep within it was a secluded sunny patch of ground.

After spreading our blanket there, we stretched out on it and snuggled close, with Baron between us. The security of giant trees on all sides with an open sky above was the perfect hideaway from all of life’s woes.

Almost immediately the 3 of us fell sound asleep. When I awoke an hour later, Nate was still lying next to me but was up on one elbow, staring at my me. I smiled back and felt completely enfolded in his love. The problems of our week had evaporated, and no getaway ever meant more.

BaronWe shared our simple picnic, took turns reading aloud to each other, and had some intimate conversation about life and love. We also took time to admire our handsome puppy.

The therapeutic benefits from this one day would last a long, long time.

“May the Lord give strength to his people! May the Lord bless his people with peace!” (Psalm 29:11)

* Wikipedia