Newlywed Love (#47)

March 25, 1970

About this time, it seemed like the whole world was getting away during spring break, traveling to exotic places like Florida, Arizona, or California. Nate and I had both enjoyed traveling during our undergrad years, but these days as we struggled to support ourselves, taking a trip was out of the question. We were lucky to get through a week without a hot-dogs-and-beans supper.

ThinkingOne chilly spring evening we lit a fire and sat in front of it dreaming aloud about what might be the perfect vacation. Nate mentioned the Virgin Islands, knowing how much I loved beaches. Our conversational fantasies drifted to different areas of the country including Hawaii, then across the ocean to Europe and of course Russia, since Nate had learned to speak Russian in college.

 

He said, “If you could visit any country in the world, which would it be?”

That was easy. “Italy,” I said, “because of all the glass factories in and around Venice!” He laughed and talked about his dream to travel all over Europe so he could see first hand where the history in his text books had taken place. But finally we had to set aside our verbal travelogue and face the facts: During spring break of 1970, we were going nowhere.

If we had to stay in Champaign, though, we decided to be deliberate about having a good time. Friends came over to share meals, or sometimes just dessert and coffee. One evening several of us wrote a primitive script and made a movie complete with subtitles. (Super 8 cameras had no sound.)

Sponge candy.Another night we made “sponge candy” with our friends Cathy and John, and Nate liked it so much he made a second batch all by himself.

We went out to eat with friends and saw a movie. And as our downstairs neighbors Fred and Alice arrived back from a winter in Florida, we took brownies to their apartment to welcome them home.

 

At AllertonThough the weather was cool, we drove to the Allerton mansion, packing a picnic, a thermos of hot coffee, and reading material. It was heavenly whiling away the afternoon on a blanket where both of us slept for 2 hours — unmindful of other visitors walking past.

Toward the end of the week, a surprise snowfall invited us outdoors to have a mini-snowball fight, after which we warmed ourselves with Russian spiced tea by the fireplace.

Last snowballsAnd of course we frolicked around the apartment “in a carefree manner,” enjoying our free time and each other.

As vacation week ended, we agreed it had been delightful, as good a spring break as any. And the grand finale’ was a one-day turn-around drive to Wilmette and back to share Easter Sunday with Mom, Dad, Mary, Bervin, the aunties, and brother Tom.

“The Lord…. restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3)

Newlywed Love (#46)

March 22, 1970

News of Mary’s pregnancy spread fast, and Mom was beside herself with glee. She wrote in her diary…

Mom's joyGuess what ——- WE’RE TO BE GRANDPARENTS!!!! Praise the Lord! WONDERFUL NEWS! Mary told us as she ironed in her bedroom. Happy! Happy!

In a letter to Nate and me she wrote…

Isn’t this delightful news? Isn’t God good?

Mom's letter

Grandparents soonSome might say, “Who wants to bring a child into today’s tangled world?” But the world is an exciting, challenging place. It’s great to be alive and involved. “A little child shall lead them.” Perhaps Bervin and Mary’s little child. “All things are possible to those who believe.” I may not have quoted that accurately, but the truth of that saying is in Holy Writ. *

Then she challenged Nate and I to lead for Christ, too, and wrote…

But we don’t have to wait for that child. You kids have the same potential, plus youth and “every good thing.” So get on with the job. With Christ – everything! Without Christ – everything the world can offer, but terminally.

Mom was waxing eloquent, and I could tell her heart was soaring. For her, children were the best thing earthly life had to offer.

After all of Mom’s rejoicing over this good news about a new little relative on the way, Nate and I decided to talk about children, squaring off with the question of whether or not we would want to have any, and if so, when.

We didn’t get very far, though. With the rest of law school, the bar exam, and military service stretching out ahead of us (as well as unnumbered decisions), the only thing to conclude was that having children any time soon wouldn’t be good.

M and N.That was fine with us. We were content just to be a couple and weren’t ready for anything or anyone to rearrange that. Becoming an aunt and uncle would offer the chance to play with a baby regularly and delight in the phenomenon of children without the responsibility.

And it was interesting to see that Mom’s happiness over her coming grandchild spilled over onto her other new relative, too. She concluded her letter with this…

Just think! We have a new son-in-law in [the family] too — Nathan. He has kindled himself warmly into our hearts. We love you, Nate!

It was all good news. And while we waited for the new baby to start the next generation in our extended family, Nate and I decided we’d better do our best to accept Mom’s challenge, to “live up to our potential with our youth and (as she put it) every good thing.”

* Jesus said…. “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23)

Newlywed Love (#44)

March 19, 1970

Nate was a husband who used words to praise, never to find fault. When I looked, it was clear which of us was contributing more positives to our marriage, and it wasn’t me.

No complaints

He cheerfully encouraged me through failures without the slightest criticism, and I found myself admiring his example – and learning from it.

For instance, as I made my first attempt at banana bread, for some reason the batter overflowed the pan. It dripped through the racks and spread out on the oven floor. I didn’t notice until the smell of burn filled the apartment, but it was too late for a rescue.

EatingDiscouraged over yet another failure, I couldn’t face scraping and scouring the oven, so left it for later.

Over the next few days as I used the oven to make dinner, burned banana flavored every meal and filled our home with an ugly odor. Surely Nate noticed…. but he never said a word.

As he loved me unconditionally, I often felt convicted of self-centeredness. Though my grumbling wasn’t about Nate, I often whined to him about other things, not realizing the extra stress this was putting on him.

He listened carefully no matter what I said and never forgot the words. Then he would do whatever he could to remedy my problem. His greatest desire was to make me happy.

If I stood in front of my closet and complained about nothing to wear, it wasn’t long before he’d surprise me with a little money attached to a sweet note – urging me to go shopping.

Noon note

If I whined about not getting to go out very much, soon a coupon to the local pancake house would appear with a note inviting me out to breakfast. Nate was a pro at demonstrating how to love well. And his good model became my good teacher.

Sometimes as we lay snuggled in bed, I would listen to his breathing in sleep, silently thanking God he’d been willing to wait for me. He’d suffered through 18 months of sadness watching me date another boy without ever losing patience.

Lying safely next to my loving husband, I was filled with gratitude that God had prevented me from marrying a guy who would not have been good for me, nor I for him.

Nate’s arms were the only ones I wanted around me.

“I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.” (Song of Solomon 7:10)