Category Archives: Thankfulness

Newlywed Love (#39)

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March 9, 1970

About this time, Nate and I received a long letter from Mom that had us laughing at the beginning but disturbed by the end:

Your father and I attended a co-ed baby shower on Friday. It was different having the daddies there, and you would have gotten some jollies out of seeing the fathers diaper and dress some large baby dolls. It was hilarious! We timed them. Those poor dolls…

Then she wrote:

From there we dropped in on Aunt Agnes and partied further. Your pa and I were driving separately, since I had had to be at the shower early. So, as I arrived home first, it was 12:30 AM. Dad was 15 minutes behind me.

When I unlocked the back door and stepped into the house, everything was topsy-turvey. Burglars!

Police.I hurried back outside to the front of the house to await your father but then noticed the front door was standing open and bedroom shades were pulled down. I ran next door where they helped me call the police, who came in just a few minutes. They asked us to stay outside while they searched the house.

When your dad finally arrived and we got back inside, we saw the definition of the words “ransacked house.” Every drawer had been pulled out and overturned, and there are many of them. The closets were torn apart, clothes walked on, boxes torn in haste. All kitchen cabinets were opened, though nothing was taken from those.

Books.The den was the worst. They had pulled every book off our wall of bookshelves and thrown stationary everywhere – looking for cash. The officer said it was strictly profess- sionals looking for money and jewels. The police found that they had removed a grate off the basement window well, broken the window, and come through.

Dad lost the new engraved watch he was given at his retirement party, and they took the treasury of my women’s club, $85 [about $575 today].

This is a jolting, revolting experience. But let me say, we are counting our blessings. It all could have been so much worse.

Then she went back to her usual jovial style of writing:

Glad you’re making a fast quarter-hundred by giving blood. Remember, “The life is in the blood.”

After reporting the family news, she ended by referencing the biblical John’s writing:

As John writes in his epistles, “my little children,” so I write. Be good. And rest assured of our love and prayers.  Mom

She was remarkable in her casual attitude about the break-in, and we wondered if recovering from the shock of it was as easy as she made it out to be. But as she had often said, “I never have to worry about a thing. Your father does enough of that for both of us.”

It was true. I saw her consistently live that philosophy throughout my growing-up years, and I suppose it’s a pretty good attitude for all of us to emulate. God instructs us not to worry about things, because the Father “worries about things” (i.e. takes care them) enough for all of us.

Jesus said, “I tell you not to worry about everyday life. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Don’t worry about tomorrow.” (Matthew 6:25,27,34)

Newlywed Love (#35)

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February 20, 1970

It was a treat to drive the “new” Mustang to school with Judy and Linda. Judy drove one week, and I drove the next. Our car was performing well and had a comfortable ride. Roads continued to be a problem, though, with lots of winter snow, and at the end of each day, we were thankful for no mishaps.

Icy.What neither Linda nor I knew, however, was how stressful the driving was for Judy, someone who was raised in Hawaii and had no experience driving on snowy highways. She didn’t have a natural sense of caution in slippery conditions and had never been in a spin or a slide.

 

Our 40 mile trip from Champaign to Danville each day was mostly driven at high speeds on I-74, a well-traveled expressway. And with such a snowy winter, it was inevitable we’d one day have an incident — which we did.

It was early morning, and the three of us were on our way to school. Judy was driving when we hit a bad patch of ice, causing the car to start a spin. It went all the way around and then some, finally coming to a stop – in the middle of I-74 facing oncoming traffic.

Icy road safetyThis was a moment of panic, especially for poor Judy, but God was watching over us. A businessman motoring behind us pulled to the shoulder, wanting to help. Apparently he had witnessed our spin and realized we were still in danger. He got out of his car and directed Judy as she worked to turn her car around on the ice and move out of harm’s way.

Thankfully it was early morning, and traffic was light. Our good Samaritan watched for cars, putting himself at risk, and made sure we were all ok before continuing on his own commute.

When we had sufficiently recovered, I asked Judy if she wanted me to drive the rest of the way to school. She was relieved, and accepted the offer.

Having driven in many Illinois winters, I had plenty of ice-and-snow experience, along with a few of my own spin-outs. But doing a 360+ on this treacherous highway had been sobering for me, too, so I proceeded with caution.

After the school day, when I arrived home and told Nate of our “adventure,” he responded with fatherly concern for our safety and offered to drive us to school after that. But of course such a favor was unworkable. I did appreciate his protective response, though.

Love.“If anything happened to you,” he said, “I don’t think I could go on.” And sitting together that evening turned out to be extra special. I was twice-warmed…. from the glow of our fireplace and the warmth of Nate’s love.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)

Newlywed Love (#34)

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February 17, 1970

NoteNate and I did a good job keeping track of each other. If either of us was planning to divert from our usual routine, we told the other ahead of time. If plans changed without advance notice, we’d leave notes.

Some of our friends thought that was “too confining,” though Nate and I saw it as simple courtesy. But this was just one of many points of disagreement we began having with some of the new friends we were making through the university.

As we got to know people, we would often share a meal during which a handful of us would round-table different ideas, sharing opinions. Inevitably, some of our discussions would become heated and uncomfortable.

Nate and I would talk privately afterwards, always stunned to see how radically different we and others thought. After all, the whole group had much in common. All of us were in our twenties. Many were in grad school, and quite a few were paired in couples – some married, some not.

And we were all sharing our young adulthood years during a time of sweeping societal upheaval. But opinions were swinging every which way. Morals were changing rapidly, and feminists were preaching a philosophy that confused both men and women.

Vietnam WarCollege students were rioting on campuses. People who’d been raised in churches were leaving them…. and leaving God. And for the very first time, we were watching a horrific war take place on our television sets.

Nate and I concluded that the diverse opinions we were hearing from our peers were the fallout from these many changes. As America began throwing away the traditions of her history, we and our friends were interpreting things in different ways.

There was, for example, talk of “open marriage.” The premise was that if a husband or wife met someone that caught their fancy, they were free to explore that relationship (even sexually) while remaining married. It would be just a dalliance, nothing permanent, and if both marriage partners understood this, no one would be hurt.

Students eat and talkNate and I were bewildered when others nodded in agreement, since we didn’t see how this could possibly work. When we asked what would happen if just one partner enjoyed frequent dalliances and the other felt left out or jealous, the consensus was that that person would be free to leave the marriage.

How could intelligent people, we wondered, think such crazy thoughts? As time went by, these debates left Nate and I feeling more empty and unsatisfied.

It finally occurred to us that the discussions we had in our couples Sunday school class were more rewarding than those with university pals. We concluded it was because Jesus and his Word were at the center, standing strong with a set of standards that didn’t blow with the wind or change with the culture.

From then on, Nate and I began choosing our friends more carefully. We were learning an important lesson: we could associate with all kinds of people, but our most fulfilling relationships would always be with other Christians.

IntertwinedWe learned that core beliefs control the way people think and act. When hearts and minds align on those, deep connections can be made that can’t be made when they refuse to line up. It was a meaningful discovery for us, and we were thankful anew for each other – and our shared beliefs.

 

“There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.” (Ephesians 4:5-6)