Category Archives: Thankfulness

Newlywed Love (#14)

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December 28, 1969

Our quick Christmas trip to each other’s families had been worthwhile and fun, but then we got to “go home” with just each other. We were both thankful for a few more days before our school schedules resumed…. and all that time apart.

Nate, who made a habit of clipping articles I might enjoy, gave me this one:

Sage advice

Those were my sentiments exactly, and we planned to make the most of our few quiet days together. Recreating some of our early dating weeks, we bundled up and took long walks in the snow.   (Below, December 1966)

Snowy walksAnd when we returned to our little “nest,” we coined a new word: snestle. It was the combination of snuggling and nestling, something we did a lot of during that carefree time.

Sitting on the floor between the light of our Christmas tree and the flickering fireplace, we made the momentous decision that when spring came, maybe we’d get…. a dog.

 

Our fireplaceBuying a little red stocking (half-off after Christmas), we hung it on our mantle between our bigger ones and admired the look of it.

One of the long talks we had during this time was about finances and our lack thereof. My small “country” salary always found us short, and we’d begun borrowing small amounts from both sets of parents, $50 here and there, to get through each month.

This made both of us uncomfortable, and though we were giving blood on a regular basis for $25 a shot, they wouldn’t let us give more than once every 6 weeks.

Also, we were still struggling along with one car after selling the Corvette, and with my long commute, Nate was the one usually left scrambling. Dad had promised we’d get back to our car search in January, and we wondered aloud how we could possibly swing that big purchase, plus licensing and insurance.

Our conclusion was that Nate would hunt for work, and though I wondered how he could hold a part-time job and still do well in school, he was confident he could make it work. He suggested slowing his studies — attending fewer classes while working a job. This would make for a later graduation, but it was one way to conquer the problem.

MacaroniWe weren’t worried. Talking quietly together in the afterglow of Christmas gave everything, even tight finances, a promising feel. Meanwhile, we increased our intake of hot dogs, baked beans, and macaroni. At least I knew how to cook them.

“The Lord protects all those who love him.” (Psalm 145:20)

Newlywed Love (#13)

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December 27, 1969

Mother-in-law LoisSpending Christmas with my in-laws and then Nate’s was a good plan. Although we’d had mild opposition from both sets of parents about setting our wedding date months previously, there had never been any resistance about who each of us had chosen to marry.

I felt complete acceptance from the Nymans (right, with Nate’s mother; below, Nate with his father), and Nate knew he was welcomed by the Johnsons.

 

Nate and red jacketThis cheerful approval was quite different, at least on my side, from what I’d experienced while dating my non-Christian boyfriend. Although Mom and Dad had always been kind to him when he was in their home, privately it was another story.

 

Dad, especially, had been concerned about the possibility of me committing to a partnership that would be “unequally yoked,” as the Bible put it in the King James Version. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Both parents and nearly everyone else in my circle of friends had seen clearly that this boyfriend and I were not unified in our core beliefs, the important values that would control all the opinions and decisions of the future…. for both of us. Even Mary and Bervin, always encouraging, had advised us to break up.

During those 18 months of dating, Dad would often wait up for me when I came in from a date, even when I arrived home at 2:30 or 3:00 AM. When I saw the light upstairs, I knew he would be waiting in my room with a frown and a lecture.

Often these tense conversations included the warning that if I committed to this boy, I would be unhappy long-term. And to back up his arguments, Dad would often leave pamphlets and articles in my room about the difficulty of marriage between a believer and a non-believer.

I felt terrible guilt about causing Mom and Dad such angst as I continued to date this boy, but hadn’t been enough to stop me. It was only the arrival of another girl that became God’s way of convicting me to leave him.

Now, though, after having married a man my parents respected and would have chosen for me themselves, everything was different. Being with my family was marked by easy acceptance. And it included light…. and laughter.

Nate’s and my relationship made them glad, which then nourished both of us. And since I’d known the opposite reality, my satisfaction during our Christmas visit was considerable.

Passing out gifts(Right, Mom distributes presents)

All of us exchanged simple gifts while we were together, but the most valuable one Nate and I received was the love and acceptance of both sets of in-laws – a gift that would matter on every holiday to follow, throughout the years.

“Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7)

Newlywed Love (#12)

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December 24-25, 1969

Nate and I were much like many other young couples. The holidays found us traveling to spend time with both sides of the newly-joined extended family. With our schools on Christmas break, we had plenty of time to clock the necessary miles and were looking forward to reconnecting with our folks and others.

VW hatchback.We decided to spend Christmas Eve with Nate’s family and Christmas Day with mine, driving a large triangle with its sides measuring 137, 209, and 156 miles respectively. And we didn’t mind. Traveling along in his little VW gave us uninterrupted chat-time during which we dreamed out loud about our rosy future together.

As we drove, we talked about marriage “so far,” all 3½ weeks of it. Later, summarizing our conversation in my journal I wrote,

I’m amazed at how great an understanding Nate has of women and their needs, having had no sisters. He’s a psychological genius to me, especially in terms of my moods and responses. He always wants to see things from my side as well as his own, before making any decisions.

As the miles clicked away, I thanked Nate for working hard to understand me as a girl…. and also for the attitude of gratitude he championed whenever we were together. For example, since before we’d been married, he had thanked me for every single meal I’d made, whether it was a success or a failure. He thanked me for continuing to try at cooking and bought me two cook books in an effort to help.

He thanked me for cleaning the apartment – every time – even if I had only cleaned the bathroom sink. And he offered to share household chores, thanking me for letting him help.

He expressed appreciation when I did his laundry and thanked me for folding it. He thanked me for loving him and thanked me often for being willing to marry him.

Christmas EveAll of this gratitude had established a sweet tone in our little home, and my natural response was to look for ways to thank him back. I often felt gratitude but wasn’t good at getting those thoughts out of my head and delivered to him. But he wasn’t keeping track.

As for me, I was sort of keeping track – at least enough to know Nate was way ahead of me. If ever there was someone looking out for the interests of another ahead of his own, it was him. And as we covered those 500 miles over Christmas, I realized how truly fortunate I was to have him for my husband.

In my heart I knew it was God who was behind the whole thing, guiding me to finally give my heart to Nate many months ago and then to say yes to his proposal. And I needed to thank Him for that every single day.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.” (Psalm 118:29)