Young Love (#138)

November 29, 1969… 10:00 PM

Mom and LoisAs the reception wound down, Mom began asking what ought to be done with the leftover food and flowers. “Maybe we should feed the adult Sunday school classes in the morning,” she said, always thinking of others. She urged the last guests to take some with them and ran to the kitchen for plastic bags.

I wondered what my new mother-in-law thought of mom, having spent a weekend with her. Even though they were quite different, these two had begun to forge a friendship, which was satisfying to watch. After all, if Nate and I ended up with children, our moms would share them as grandmothers.

New in-lawsThe folks

Our four parents were bushed but cheerfully posed for a few last pictures, probably hoping all the photographer’s boxes would soon be checked.

 

Nate and I were beginning to look at each other with longing but knew it wouldn’t be simple to transition from wedding to honeymoon. Very likely it would take some time… and some creativity.

Mary and BervinOur wedding party stuck by us, but several were wilting on the vine – they’d all worked hard. Despite the fun, it had been a demanding day for them. We would be forever grateful. (R. Mary and Bervin)

As Nate and I held hands and watched the photographer work, I felt something funny – Nate’s wedding band. Lifting his hand, I studied his ring for the first time. His whole hand looked different… unusual… fantastic.

Having not anticipated how his ring might look on him, I was pleasantly surprised at the surge of warmth I felt. He was happy to be identified as a married man, and I was glad other girls would see his ring and know he was “taken.” That smacked of possessiveness, though I knew he didn’t really “belong” to me… or… maybe he did.

RingsNate was more than happy to “be mine” and had longed for that reality for 3 years. I was also thrilled to “belong” to him. As of a few hours ago, we’d promised to have an exclusive relationship with each other that we would never have with anyone else… throughout our lifetimes. Our rings were outward evidence of those inner commitments.

Though some might label that a restriction, as I stood there studying Nate’s hand and its shiny new ring, I felt totally secure and extremely special. I was in a category where no other girl could be. Nate was mine, and I was his – something we had wanted more than anything else in the world. And now, at long last, we were there.

“Love burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7)

Young Love (#137)

November 29, 1969… 9:00 PM

In a last flurry of picture-taking toward the end of our wedding, we wanted to be sure to gather some of those who had come from far and wide to attend. One group was from my 1967 graduating class at Wheaton College.

Wheaton chronies

Among these was the couple who had introduced Nate and I, back in the fall of 1966.

Kathy

 

Kathy was one of my best college pals, and we were especially close during senior year. Being from Nebraska, she didn’t get home much, but Mom made her feel welcome at our house. We went to Wilmette together on many weekends and often acted goofy together, too.

 

 

SongstersFor example, we sang mock-operatic duets in front of anyone who would listen and experienced our 15 minutes of fame at Wheaton singing in a talent show —  making fools of ourselves but having a great time doing it.

Kathy was engaged to a guy named Bob who attended Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. Without a car between them, they virtually never saw each other, since the two colleges were 30 miles apart. But I often had access to Mom’s station wagon, and when I did, Kathy begged for a ride to see her fiancé.

BobOne day Kathy said, “Bob and I should get you dating a Northwestern man so you’ll want to drive there all the time. Then I’ll ride along! Bob knows a really handsome Swedish guy you would love. Smart, too.”

I didn’t think much of it, but then it happened.

Kathy and I drove the station wagon to Wilmette for the weekend, and I dropped her off on the Northwestern campus to see Bob. Proceeding home, I dumped the contents of my laundry bag into Mom’s wash machine, showered and washed my hair, pulled on an old flannel nightgown, and climbed into bed with a book.

About 10:00 PM the phone rang. “Come down here right away!” Kathy said. “We’re at The Huddle ice cream parlor, and we have the Swedish guy with us. He wants to meet you!”

I was casually dating several other boys at the time and knew blind dates didn’t usually go well. “I’m already in bed!” I said, trying to beg off. “My hair is wet, and I have nothing to wear.”

“We told him you were coming,” she said, putting me in a fix. “We won’t order till you get here.”

Though I was mad at Kathy, I was also curious. Handsome? Smart? Swedish? I had to see. But what to wear?

The coatI had a new coat in federal blue that buttoned to the chin with a Peter Pan collar – I called it my “Jackie Kennedy coat.” (…pictured here after 3 years of hard wear.) Paired with my knee-high boots, I would look “dressed,” as long as I didn’t take my coat off. (The only thing beneath it was white underwear.)

As I walked into the ice cream parlor, they spotted me right away. My blind date jumped to his feet, and I remember thinking how glorious his blond hair was. After quick introductions, Nate pulled out a chair for me and said, “May I take your coat?”

It was a balmy October evening. “No thanks,” I said. “I’m a little chilly.”

As we ate our chocolate sundaes, Nate asked twice more if he could take my coat. It was awkward to refuse, but I couldn’t do otherwise.

After a couple of interesting conversational hours, Kathy and I dropped the boys at their college housing and drove on to Wilmette. “Why were you so rude to him?” she said. “He was trying to be polite, and you wouldn’t even let him take your coat!”

I explained about the wash machine and then unbuttoned myself. “Here’s why,” I said.

She saw my underwear and howled with laughter. Two weeks went by before Nate called for a second date, but after that, the 4 of us got together frequently, and Kathy got all the rides she wanted to Northwestern and to Bob.

Bob and KathyOn our wedding day, Nate and I were especially thankful for these match-making friends – and that they were willing to stand up for us as we got married.

“The pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” (Proverbs 27:9)

Young Love (#136)

November 29, 1969… 8:30 PM

As our wedding reception continued, Mom and Dad stepped to the front and voiced an official welcome to their guests. They had been moving among them, greeting each person, and I wondered if they had even taken time to eat.

The welcomeMom looked tired but was thoroughly enjoying herself. Dad, too, seemed to be having a good time, and my mind wandered back to the stressful conversations we’d had about choosing a wedding date.

They’d wanted us to wait another year to marry, but we had no interest in that. Mom insisted we couldn’t pull together a big wedding in so little time, but here we were, on November 29th, and all was well. Everything had worked out after all, thanks mostly to Mom, and I felt tremendous appreciation for her.

IntroductionsNext up was the introduction of the wedding party. I went first and spoke a line or two about each of the ladies, including little Brittney, Marea, and our 6 hostesses. Nate followed with the men and boys.

Once again it impacted me that these particular people were the peers we loved most in the whole world, and here they were – all in one place at the same time.

Introductions.

What a unique phenomenon to savor at that moment…. and always.

Smiling.Mary, as maid of honor, and Ken, as best man, each gave a little speech, but without any alcohol on the menu, they didn’t do toasts. That kind of “worldliness” would have been frowned upon in such a conservative church in the 1960’s, so no one expected toasts or missed them. Besides, the meaningful words spoken were honor enough.

I asked the bridesmaids to once again sing their pretty song, since guests had said they were unable to hear them well during the wedding. The string quintet, which had been supplying classy dinner music throughout the meal, took a welcome break, and the girls gathered around the piano. None of them had expected this, but they cheerfully sang their hearts out while Helen Carbaugh accompanied with perfection.

Singing

It was a flawless performance, and their three-part harmony was angelic. I was so proud of them I could have busted out of my 48 buttons.

Dad eats.As the bridesmaids took their seats, my eyes caught a glimpse of Dad sitting by himself, consuming a plate of food. Mom had returned to circulating, but Dad had finally decided it was time to eat. And why not? After all, he was footing the bill.

We thanked everyone for coming, which would release them to go if they so chose, but encouraged guests to get more food and hang around. The photographer was setting up for family pictures near an empty wall, so we knew we’d be there for quite a while.

SmoochGuests continued clinking their punch cups together to make us kiss, and Nate and I relished the taste of every one of them… eagerly looking forward to some private kissing-time without any restrictions, once we were alone.

“Taste and see that THE LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” (Psalm 34:8)