Young Love (#36)

As summer approached, Nate and I began talking about the thrilling changes ahead, especially the when-and-where of our engagement, and a job for me downstate.

staying-with-familyAfter I visited him in Champaign during the teacher strike, he moved out of his dorm, then planned to come north to my parents’ house to spend a week with our family. Though I would have to work, we’d be together every day… and my parents would get to know him better. Nate also had high hopes he’d get to have “the talk” with Dad.

May 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. I took my Sunday school girls on a picnic today, but since it was freezing, we held it in the apartment living room. This group of 10-year-olds can tear up a place in no time! But then there’s you… the most thoughtful, considerate person I’ve ever known, and I thank the Lord every chance I get for letting me know you – and MARRY you! If you could hear all the colossal things I tell my friends about you, you’d hire me as your publicity manager.

May 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for your patience, faith, help, and love. And your Christian example. Thank you for your prayers. The Lord’s help will take care of us forever. What a reassuring thought! Last night I turned out the light, got into bed and was half asleep when my hand hit something under the pillow. I flipped on the light and saw your note, reading it as I ate the candy kiss. The note, with its love, thanks, and promise of freedom was the best thing I could have read on a late Sunday night.

May 28, 1969 – Dear Nate. I can’t believe you’re done with school for a while and will be walking through my apartment door soon… for 8 days! I’ve been thinking of all we can do while you’re here: dinners with friends, a faculty party with my fellow-teachers, a Sunday’s-worth of activities, double-dates with other couples, dinner and cards with Mary and Bervin, mid-week prayer meeting, time with my folks, and… ring-shopping!

rings

May 29, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I am so fortunate to have the love of Meg Johnson. I can’t wait to be with you again! Meanwhile, I continue to pack my clothes and books, and pay bills here. I love you very, very much.

May 30, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you are here for those 8 glorious days, we’ll create enough ultra-pleasant memories to get you all the way through Army camp in good shape. Something sad happened today. I got the official word that little Nancy, the Downs girl in my class, has to transfer out and attend a state placement somewhere else in the fall. It’s so sad. The worst, though, will be getting her mother to accept it. So far she’s refused to admit Nancy has any problems. I have to call her today and set up a conference for her with the principal and me. So hard. If you and I should ever have a Downs child, it would be a big adjustment. I send you all my love, Your Meg

From my journal, the evening before Nate arrived in Chicago:

happyIt’s amazing how much of my previous confusion has ironed out and become ordered thoughts. Nate and I have spent much of the month of May together, and he’s coming to Chicago for 8 gorgeous days before leaving for the Army – for 6 weeks. ALL my reservations are gone, including my nervousness over being able to leave (my old boyfriend) permanently in the past. I haven’t seen him in 2 months, and though I think of him, I no longer miss him in “that way.”

 

“Love rejoices in the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6)

Young Love (#33)

In Chicago, as I spent my days with 51 kindergarteners, my thoughts were always on Nate. In Champaign, as he spent his days with law books and military men, his thoughts were always on me. But our thinking looked very different.

He was focused on “being worthy” of me, and I was focused on my own unworthiness. On many days, as I reflected on Nate’s wholehearted love, I wondered what in the world he saw in me. I could hardly believe how thoroughly he loved me when so often I was selfish and unlovable. And I began to worry that once we were married, he would be disappointed in me. I committed in my heart I would do my very best for this one who loved me with such abandon.

May 18, 1969 – To my wonderful Nate. The early, early morning is a wonderful time to be alive. I took a short walk in the city this morning because I got ready early, and the sun’s sparkle on everything just cheered me so much. If I get a job down near you, even before we are married we can have breakfast together sometimes and maybe take a sunrise walk, too. And when marriage finally rolls around, wowie-zowie!

sun-bestMay 18, 1969 – Dearest Meg. After a good night’s rest last night, I went to church this morning at the Bible Church, and the pastor said some excellent things (outline enclosed). Now I’m getting ready to study, but first I’m going to say a prayer of thanksgiving for having Meg in my life. I love you.

May 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’m so glad you love the Lord as I do. We’ll have to remember what Pastor Sweeting told us at the picnic, that people who are anticipating Christian growth mustn’t hesitate to get involved. We’ll do that after we’re married and after we’ve settled into one of the strong Bible-teaching churches in your area there. I think of you the whole way through every day. And I love those thoughts. You are one of a kind.

May 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg, my Future Wife. I’m still savoring last weekend, Saturday. It was fabulous! Flowers, lions, picnic, and Meg, Meg, Meg! I love you! Please pray for us, and also for my exams, the rest of this week.

May 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve been thinking of how much you love me, and I’m confident you always will. And I want to tell you now, if I ever even border on taking advantage of your love or taking you for granted in ANY way, EVER, then please pounce on me and tell me, because I would never never never want to be that way. Sadly, I’m less thoughtful and considerate than you. I’d never mean to take advantage of your love, but if it ever happens, I want to be stopped.

May 20, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What a fabulous woman you are! I would love to get married before January, if that would work out. Maybe September when you move here? I suppose January might be better for us family-wise, though.

teacher-photoMay 20, 1969 – Dear Nate. I’ve decided not to dwell on how many days we will be apart before we marry, but rather to think about how fortunate I am to see you as much as I do. I’m a very lucky girl to have you at all, as my almost-husband. My roommate is sure we’ll end up married by September! I told her it couldn’t happen – being too soon – but it sure does sound good. I’m still looking for a substitute Sunday school teacher. One good thing: my Sunday afternoon junior club responsibilities end after 3 more Sundays. They break for summer.

“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” (Philippians 4:5)

Young Love (#28)

Letters continued to fly back and forth between Champaign and Chicago, and the joy of making together-plans dominated our written conversations and my journal entries.

From the journal:

I have gained all kinds of new respect for Nate and want to be with him more and more. I’m sure of my love for him and secure in his love for me. He is the finest boy I’ve ever dated. He’s a leader, is organized, is a go-getter, a Christian, an intellectual, a good communicator, and he touches tenderly. He thrives under pressure and is completely responsible. I love all of it!

We’ve begun talking in specifics about rings, dates, jobs, where to live. Boy, is it fun! We’re praying about everything. We know that if we ever forget the Lord, we’ll mess the whole thing up.

May 7, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I received your wonderful letter of Sunday. Good girl to write, but not in church. [My last letter had been written in church.] Thank you very much! You want to be my wife, and that’s exactly who I want to fill the position. I love you very much; writing is a poor surrogate for seeing, but writing you daily gives me some release of the tension of not being with you. This week I’m thinking back to last week, remembering what we were doing at the same time, and almost get sick that you’re not with me. I could hug and squeeze you!

position-filledMay 7, 1969 – Dear Nate. One of my roommates told me that while I was gone last week someone tried to break into our apartment via that rear door in our bedroom. It sounded like they had a key. And it happened twice! We’re trying to think up some logical, harmless explanation.

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. What about that break-in? Watch out if it really was an attempted break-in. Most burglars are drug addicts (80%). Look for pry marks near the lock. Tell your landlord. Tell the police. Get a chain and bolt for the door. As for me, I’ll finish that nasty old Corporations paper by Friday night and then it’ll be the final drive for finals study. I love you very much and would love if we were formally engaged at Christmas and married by next August. We should look into you teaching here after we’re married… and where to take the honeymoon!

May 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. I love you so very much, and today especially have been thinking constantly about being married to you, being your wife, and how I want to wait on you, and to begin finding out all the depths and heights of you, my husband. I’m so lucky!

May 9, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I hope to finish writing my paper today and then check it over tomorrow. I’m not such a hot “would-be lawyer” (i.e. law student) but I have faith the Lord will get me through school and the bar exam. Actually I don’t mind law school or law exams, but I really dislike papers. Anyhow, this one will soon be done.

sooo-muchMay 9, 1969 – Dear Nate. My heart is beating fast, and my stomach has butterflies. The idea of marriage to you is hitting home, and it’s the most pleasant of thoughts! I’m going to love and love and love you, day after day after day. I love Nate. Oh to be with you now. Soooo much to talk of!        Love, love, Meg

May 10, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you so much and want to be with you and marry you. You are my beautiful one, the only woman in my life. I will work hard to take good care of you. I love you completely and hope that faith in Christ will help me keep all the vows of marriage and keep us in unity with Jesus.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Proverbs 3:5)