Category Archives: Thankfulness

Young Love (#23)

Posted on by

As the days passed, I wrestled with my feelings, frustrated that I couldn’t fully commit to Nate. One of the problems was that I viewed love as having two levels: (1) loving someone just for the joy of it, and (2) loving someone enough to marry him… for better or for worse, and for keeps.

I knew I loved Nate (1), but marriage? That number (2) was a doozy of a decision. A week of days together was coming, though, and I hoped it would shake me loose from my emotional log-jam. I would have to work, but we’d be together parts of every day.

hmmmMar. 25, 1969 – Dear Nate. My team teacher says I should choose a mate based half on logic and half on love. She really likes you and says you are A+ in both. Actually, she told me she wished she was 20 years younger about now (wink).

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you very much. This spring vacation will be great. Your parents and mine will get to know us and begin to think of us together as a couple. There is a great deal I want to show you in my home town, come the weekend. We’ll get to take long walks near your house and mine, and most important, spend time in prayer and worship. Easter sunrise service!

Mar. 26, 1969 – Dear Nate. My folks are glad about our arrangements to stay in Wilmette with them for part of your vacation week. Being together for 6-7 days straight will be a helpful thing in determining the direction of our relationship. My roommate has a boyfriend she loves, but it’s frustrating for her to wait and wonder when he’ll next call or ask her out. It makes me thankful that there’s no guessing with you. You are sure. You are unlike any other guy I’ve ever known… in so many ways.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I think of you constantly. When I think of the future, I realize that your personal decision, our parents’ feelings, and both of us being absolutely certain about marriage still present themselves. But you have plenty of time. I love you, and love waits. Whoever wins your heart will be fortunate and will have to work hard to merit you. My only doubt about our relationship is whether I am good enough for you.

letters-galoreMar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I got four letters today! Wow! I love you! Fantastic woman! Before studying for my ROTC test I had to write to thank you and comment on your essential goodness which deserves a life of kissing and hugging and admiration.

 

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. When you come, I sure would love to see the movie “2001” before it’s gone. We could have a good discussion afterwards, since there are some poignant moral questions posed in the show, or so I hear. But we won’t have to spend too much money during the week if we don’t want to. There are lots of inexpensive things we can enjoy. I love you, Nate.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dear Nate. Tonight I tried on several dresses that I can possibly wear to the military ball on April 12. My roommate let me borrow one, and I have 6 bridesmaids gowns. I should probably wear one of those, since they’ve only been worn once each. But it’s tempting to get something new.

Mar. 27, 1969 – Dearest Meg. Thank you for two new letters, warm and sparkling with Meg. I am hoping this coming week will be decisive for you. Of course you know I’ve already decided on you. But don’t feel you must rush a decision this week. You have all the time in the world. I can be patiently happy to wait for you. Last night it took me 2 hours of thinking about you before I could fall asleep, and I awoke thinking of you. I love you! And now lover-boy has to go put his towels and socks into the dryer.

“Put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:14)

Young Love (#20)

Posted on by

Nate’s salutations moved from “Dear Meg” to “Dearest Meg,” and his patience always seemed to increase to meet the need for it. If he suffered from moments of frustration over my reluctance to say I loved him, he never let it show.

And then, when he least expected it, the fog of my immature confusion lifted, and at long last… love arrived.

dearest-megMar. 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. I love you. This weekend was lonely and sad without you. I’ve gone to two movies with my men and a staff party with the head resident and his wife to try to keep my mind off you. But no luck… I think of you constantly. When I look at clothing ads in the New Yorker, I imagine you in the clothes. You’re a beautiful woman with intelligence and taste. I am really looking forward to this weekend! But don’t worry. There is no pressure.

Mar. 16, 1969 – Dearest Meg. When you call your kindergarten children “kidlets,” that is very sweet. We can one day fill our apartment with their mobiles, paintings, etc. Good luck on your diet. I am proud of you for always seeking to improve an excellent thing. I have to try hard to measure up to you.

love-maybeMar. 16, 1969 – Dear Nate. Life seems to be one set of confusing circumstances following another. I’ve missed you terribly over the weekend and thought about you constantly. I think I’m in love with you, Nate. Who knows yet if this is the love a marriage must be based upon, but I do think I love you.     Meg.

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The letter you wrote Sunday midnight puts me in a soaring, joyous frame of mind! And it makes me think of you all day, while doing everything! Each time I get in the car, I almost walk around to open the other door for you, wanting so much for you to be here. Does it sound like I’m deeply in love? Either that or insane! I think it’s the former. I love you!

Mar. 19, 1969 – Dearest Meg. The weather here is fabulous! I hope it holds for the weekend. After dinner with my parents, I want to take you on a drive out into the country again, for a long walk. As for Friday, all the motels here, even in surrounding towns, are booked solid for the State Basketball Tourney this weekend. So if you come on Saturday morning, you’ll be in time for lunch with the parents at noon. I’ll pay for the train fare. I love you so much!

joyfulMar. 19, 1969 – Dear Nate. So much has happened since I last wrote! Sorry it’s been several days,  jam-packed ones — My adult education class and an oral report I had to give after many hours of prep. A broken universal joint on my Corvette that I “helped” Bervin fix (4 hours beneath the car). An important conversation with my brother Tom about his plans – till 3:00 AM (he’s transferring from Wheaton College to a school in Washington DC that’s tops in Political Science). Church responsibilities galore. A funeral wake for a distant relative. A trip back to Wilmette to deposit my Corvette’s hard top in their basement so I can use the soft top (gorgeous weather!). A traffic ticket on the way back to the apartment that night at 1:00 AM. (I’m going to court in April.) And an afternoon spent with (my old boyfriend) playing tennis and chatting until 2:00 AM. My conclusion to all this stuff? I love Nate.

“These three remain: faith, hope… and love.” (1 Corinthians 13:10)

Seven Years Ago

Posted on by

November 3rd will always be an important day for our family. It’s the day we encircled Nate’s bed and released him from this world to head into the next – a most painful experience.

Today, 7 years later, our grown children and I can talk about Nate without that pain. Instead we’ve shared memories and expressions of gratitude today. We’ve enjoyed a spirit of celebration connected to the man who played such major roles in our lives. And we’ve acknowledged that he was given to us just for that time. On God’s calendar, everything worked out perfectly, which included Nate’s November 3rd departure.

img_0636-1Recently, as I cleaned a small store room in our basement, I came across an old, stained cardboard box. I’ve kept careful track of this box for nearly 50 years, because I’ve known what was inside: letters written between Nate and I from the time we first met till we were married. It was the chronicle of our love story – detailing how it grew from friendship into love, then from dating into marriage.

And so, these many decades later, it seemed like a good time to open the box and re-read the narrative.

I cleared the dining room table and cut the old tape, allowing the letters to slip out – a treasure trove of communication sent between Nate and I from 1966 through 1969.

Since we lived many miles apart when we first met and later while we were dating, the only option back then was to wait in line for time on a shared telephone or to write letters. Besides, phone use was expensive, but mail needed only a 3-cent stamp. As a result, our love story is all in writing.

Since the letters weren’t in any special order, the first thing to do was organize them by date. Luckily, Nate was a guy who dated virtually everything. And when I was finished sorting, I counted them all – 438!

438-letters

What a delight it was to take several days to read through them, remembering things I hadn’t thought about in decades. Nate knew he wanted to marry me shortly after we met. But I was just getting involved with someone else, not ready for any serious commitment.

img_3938So, going through these old letters reminded me of three of Nate’s finest character qualities: endurance, perseverance, and faithfulness. Though he knew what he wanted (me), he patiently endured my year-long uncertainty about him. Even when I wrote about the virtues of the other guy, Nate persevered with kindness, giving me the freedom and time to make my own decision. He never tried to “talk me into” liking him best, but simply waited…. and waited…. faithfully sending a letter every single day.

(Tomorrow: excerpts from a love story)

Love “….always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)